Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
I think what is trying to be said is that you shouldn`t expect a deep relationship when you are going out with someone just because of their race/nationality - and they are going out with you because of yours. Once the novelty wears off chances are there won`t be anything left to hold the relationship together.
There are a LOT of guys in Japan dating Japanese girls because they have an Asian fetish. And the majority of girls who date them do so because they have a foreigner fetish. When that is all there is to the relationship, things usually don`t last all that long - and if one side really has fallen in love but the other hasn`t... Things end very badly.
Normal relationships exist, but the thing is... They tend to be the exception. And most of them are founded on friendship then love instead of a racial fetish.
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My guess is there are a lot of guys in Japan dating Japanese women because a majority of the girls there are Japanese. Are you saying they are in Japan just to get down with a Japanese woman? The men you mentioned seemed to have been seeking a physical relationship OR had no idea about the culture and society aside from just being dumped into a job there and are there to play in the garden.
Liking the cultural and societal traits of Japanese Women should not discard the possibility that Japanese Women on a more personal level may be compatible.
Of course, more to your point, one will never know until it is tried. If one isn't willing to try, then they were never really dedicated to their "destiny". Oh destiny....
In reality most of the world searches their "destiny" based on race. White and white, black and black etc. This is why dating web sites give you the option of the race you are looking for. Mixed race marriages are the minority.
I think many things are in play. Race is one, culture and values are another. One could be physically attracted to said race but dislike or learn to dislike the culture or values. Said American raised x generation Japanese might be fine for Mr. Brass but Japanese raised woman may not.
Throw in language or religious differences it may be too much. But having said this Mr. Brass said he has studied these academically (excluding religion), so he has an idea what he may be getting into.
I mean when one is looking for a partical type of guy or gal either physically (not severlly overweight or underweight, how they take care of themselves), their immediate personality, etc etc.. and yes race,culture,values,religion is in there along they way. This person is making their race and apparently culture and values a higher priority.
I would say though that seeing that he has dated so many different races (if this is true) and none are compatible with what he is looking for, I wouldn't say race is really the problem, it may simple be the culture and values of the society they reside in or even more simply just in compatible mix with nothing to do with race.
In the end, if he is compatible with the culture and values that the person holds at the top of the list, race comes second. It just might be that the culture and values that this person seeks happens to fall within the Japanese race.
I agree to that race alone won't work to get into a deep relationship but it *may*, in this case, be a good search criteria in narrowing down that person.