Quote:
Originally Posted by MMM
I think a month in such a foreign place affects different people in different ways. There can be frustrations about food, getting place to place, language barriers, lack of familiar anchors, feeling very far away and disconnected... all kinds of things. If the pair are not a real support to each other, it can hurt the relationship.
The first time I went to Japan I was a teenager, and I spent three weeks there. After about two weeks my "host brother" who was an exchange student from my school in the US, started getting tired of translating for me. In a way it was like the batteries in a hearing aid running out. This heightened my stress and made me feel disconnected and frustrated.
I saw a similar thing happen a couple summers ago with two friends who traveled Japan together for a month or so. It wasn't more than a couple weeks before they were on each other's nerves.
I am not saying this will happen, but it might not be a bad idea to mentally prepare yourself and talk about it with your boyfriend in advance, so that you can catch yourself before doing or saying something you might later regret.
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I went five years ago to Tokyo for 10 days with my best friend. After 3 days, I felt all he was doing was tagging along everywhere I went. I didn't know if he wanted to go elsewhere-he wouldn't say. I wasn't sure how long I should stay at each place, or if he even wanted to go there. The last three days we spent them doing our own thing. I think it was more the fact I went prepared with some sort of idea of what to do and where to go while he just literally tagged along that perhaps made his experience not as fulfilling. Added to that, one of his shoes squeaked (not his fault!) made things worse, as the constant squeaking drove me nuts.... At least I knew he was behind me. Even many of the photos we took were about the same things from a slightly, and I mean very slightly different angle. (He was behind me most of the time)
I'm headed back there for another 10 days in a few weeks and I'm going alone. That way I can do what I want, when I want and for how long I want. No one to answer to. We are still friends, but not as close as we used to be. And I've know him for years-nearly nine now....
MMM is right. A foreign place, a foreign language-these things can really test any relationship....