I find this thread a bit strange, as I`ve been told by Gonative that I must think Japan is a utopia simply because I
don`t go out of my way to say negative things about the country.
Anyway though - I think a lot of it comes down to presentation.
You can say something negative about a certain aspect of life, a certain problem, etc - without saying something negative about the whole country. There are indeed things I don`t like, experiences I have not enjoyed, but that doesn`t lead me to apply those to all of the rest of the country and it`s people.
It`s sort of like individual vs. group. Disliking a specific person for a direct reason is one thing, saying you dislike all the people in the same race/group/nationality because of your experiences with that one person is another.
It`s also like sort of like being asked why you dislike that person, and giving the answer of "Because they`re them!" instead of actually looking at and thinking about the real reasons.
Japanese people in Japan who do not like aspects of life will complain about specific aspects of life - not "Japan sucks" or "Japanese people suck". They don`t generally pull out some comparison to how things are in some other country and tell you how much better things are done there. The reasons something in life sucks isn`t
because it`s Japan - it`s because of the actual real reasons.
Not to mention that it`s almost entirely a matter of opinion. Saying "Japan is terrible in such and such way" is quite different from "I don`t like how such and such is done in Japan".
Sometimes, actually understanding the reasons will bring more sense to the whole situation, if not alleviate the problem altogether. And there is a level of understanding of culture and language that is required to do this.
Why is pointing out that things have reasons that are not always obvious considered worshiping the country? Why is offering experiences that aren`t riddled with the countless rumors of horrific racism considered thinking the country a utopia? I have also been told that I was a Japanophile for pointing out that the same issues happen in other countries, in exactly the same way, so it wasn`t a
Japan issue - but somehow to the complainer it was only a negative when applied to Japan.
One of these that stood out in my mind was when I answered factually why something was the way it was (something I personally didn`t like) - and I was told that I was delusional about Japan being a great place. It was a surprise as none of the information I presented was in favor of the issue - but then I realized... It wasn`t negative either! There is a strong expectation that if you actually live in Japan you will have tons of negative things to say about it. And if you don`t, you`re either lying about being in Japan or some weird Japan worshiper.
I generally answer with positive information after negative information has already been offered. Usually it`s either the OP says that they heard Japan was terrible in such and such way, or they ask a question and someone else jumps up to the plate and tells them that Japan sucks in some way (or entirely).
I see a LOT more people with incredibly negative thoughts about Japan than people who think it is a utopia. Especially in person - living in Japan I regularly encounter foreigners who are told that Japan sucks in some way and who internalize that without ever actually forming their own opinion based on personal experience. They look for examples of what they`ve been told - and if the information pouring in is negative, everywhere negativity is seen.
A simple and true example - I`ve met people who have been told that the reason Japanese people will bow instead of shake hands with them is because they`re afraid of contracting gaijin germs. Despite the fact that bowing is the norm they will call it racist as they have been told (by other foreigners "in the know") that it is a racist gesture. It`s entirely their right to dislike the lack of hand shakes - but it`s an odd leap to consider it a terrible flaw of society and that people who do it suck. Pointing out that people usually bow instead of shake hands largely eliminated the daily feelings of discrimination, and somehow magically made it possible for them to notice that it wasn`t just them.
The majority of complaints about life in Japan aren`t so simple, but there tends to be a connecting thread between them of limited personal experience and language/cultural misunderstandings - with a dash of negative preconceptions. At the very least it helps to shift through any misunderstandings, misconceptions, etc to get to the actual opinion underneath.