I would like to hear the answers to these questions.

ah, sorry, okay, yes yes :)

i have never been in japan before, but know over 50 or 60 people and know a lot about the country. and i go to japan next year already

we spent together around 1 month in vienna, and we call us everyday with our phone and see us on skype too. and she comes again in november, this year.

we will live in sapporo, in her apartment, her parents gave us.

i will work at a restaurant as a cook and later on, try to be the manager of a shop, her parents do for her and me. and for me, i have over...well, i dont want to mention here, but lets say far more than 10 000 euros for our start

she works at a hotel already, and later on with me together in the shop :)
and she has her parents support and also quite a lot of money for our start and wedding.

people are arguing whether you should be telling this kid your opinion...and its surprising how it hasnt been resolved yet

I appreciate your openness and honesty.

So you have committed to spending the rest of your life in a country you have never visited? I moved to Hyogo-ken at the same time as 100 people who had never lived in Japan before (all from English speaking countries). Two of the most out-going, energetic, open and enthusiastic people in that group basically snapped after a few months. One man from England was convinced the school had him under surveillance and had put chips in his watch and neck and another woman from California thought the reason her electricity went out was because the school she worked for wanted her to quit. It turned out she just blew a fuse, but she went for two weeks without electricity (or going to work) before her mother was called to fly to Japan and take her home. The last two people you would think that would "lose it".

Thankfully they only broke the contract they had with their schools.

Only a month? In my opinion you should spend face-to-face time with someone for at least two years before you can know them well enough to make a commitment like marriage.

Do you know what restaurant you will work at? What will you cook? I don't mean to be insulting when I say, outside of a fast food restaurant, most people don't want to pay for food cooked by a teenager, unless you have some special talent, of course. 10,000 euros? There's a car or year one covered.

It seems curious to me why parents would commit to so much for a boy they have never even met before for their daughter, but even if everything you have said is true, why have you set a date when you have never seen the foreign country you are planning on spending the rest of your life in? What is the hurry? What's wrong with checking it out making sure you can actually function there before committing to it for the rest of your life?

Resolution is not a common conclusion on JF.

so ive noticed:vsign:

Perhaps we should let it go, MMM.

I agree with you that this is a train wreck waiting to happen. None of the pieces seem to be in place and it's only a matter of time before something gives.

However, love is definitely blind and when you throw in the raging hormones of a teenager along with their feeling of invincibility, I'm sure that any logical suggestion we give him will bounce off like water off a duck's back.

He'll probably learn the hard way and who knows? In ten years, he may even return to this forum to dissuade the next teen who decides to follow in his footsteps. Of course his pleas will go unaffected but such is life... Some of us have to learn the hard way.

If Sephiroth was my son, I'd rip him a new hole but luckily for him, he isn't... even though he's young enough to be. :)

This is exactly what I'm talking about. You speaking as if somehow you know this will not work?

I know personal experiences could not matter any less, but my Grandmother got married when she was 17 to my grandfather who was 19. They're still married to this day, have 3 kids and own a 2 story house.

My mom got married when she was 20, and she got divorced 4 years later, but got me out of the marriage. (I know, some souvenir, right?) My point is that it might work, it might not work.

Just because you THINK it won't, or "statistics show," doesn't mean it will not work.

It's like you guys are trying to tell him that really he doesn't really love her, just because he's "young"

And I am guessing she got married at a time when lots of people got married at 17...when at 17 you actually were a woman, and 19 you actually were a man.

So you are saying it is smarter to risk your life on a gamble than to give it time, let it grow and, what was the other thing? Oh yeah....visit your new homeland before you move there.

I hope you are not including me in "you guys" because I never said anything like that. And no one said anything about love. What young people forget sometimes is that marriage is more than love. It's a life-long commitment that needs to be made by people that understand what that means.

I could go on about youth and committing to something, but you made my point best: