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-   -   English freestyle Haiku thread (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/member-art-creativity/5818-english-freestyle-haiku-thread.html)

Acidreptile 07-11-2007 05:32 PM
You don't know me
I might beat you
I'm better than you expect

82riceballs 07-11-2007 05:32 PM
here's mine:

I used to collect
shiny state quarters, until...
the ice cream truck came.

Humpty-Dumpty-san:
If you go on a diet,
you won't fall again.

:D

Excessum 07-11-2007 07:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 82riceballs (Post 176262)
here's mine:

I used to collect
shiny state quarters, until...
the ice cream truck came.

Humpty-Dumpty-san:
If you go on a diet,
you won't fall again.

:D
that ain't quite a haiku, imho :rolleyes:

wings are spread
tears are falling
darkness

Fyer 07-11-2007 10:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Excessum (Post 175888)
awsm!

spitting the blood
aching fists
to fight is to lose
Thanks~

Watching the Sky,
Fade into Amber,
A sigh escapes and so does my life.

...is that emo or is it just me?

Excessum 07-11-2007 10:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyer (Post 176569)
Thanks~

Watching the Sky,
Fade into Amber,
A sigh escapes and so does my life.

...is that emo or is it just me?
doesn't matter... you have some skills... nice metaphors and exactly 18 syllables :3 Keep 'em coming! :pinksong:

hear the heart stopping
the body gets cold
darkness... is that what awaits us?

Fyer 07-11-2007 10:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Excessum (Post 176579)
doesn't matter... you have some skills... nice metaphors and exactly 18 syllables :3 Keep 'em coming! :pinksong:

hear the heart stopping
the body gets cold
darkness... is that what awaits us?
^_^ I love it. ^^^

Exasperating,
Unable To Withstand,
Your Lurking In The Darkness...

Excessum 07-12-2007 01:46 PM
glass gets empty
you walk away
rapacity?

Fyer 07-12-2007 05:45 PM
Seeing through closed eyes,
Hearing through covered ears,
Unable to whisper your name...

Backing down,
Quivering with anticipation,
Controlling emotion.

Excessum 07-13-2007 04:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyer (Post 177011)
Seeing through closed eyes,
Hearing through covered ears,
Unable to whisper your name...

Very interesting... can be understood in at least 3 different ways, nice!

Here's mine:

dancing around the fire
letting the life burn
till dawn goes to sleep

Fyer 07-13-2007 05:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Excessum (Post 177748)

Very interesting... can be understood in at least 3 different ways, nice!

Here's mine:

dancing around the fire
letting the life burn
till dawn goes to sleep
..Three? I can only think of two.. O-o; FIRE~! ^__^

Billowing like steam,
Unable to breathe,
The heat lighting up disaster

Excessum 07-13-2007 05:33 PM
feeding my fears
thinking about us
running away

Fyer 07-13-2007 05:35 PM
Bright-lit skies,
Versus moon-lit nights,
Caresses of another- held on tight.

Acidreptile 07-15-2007 01:15 PM
You tried to recognize the signs
To avoid another mistake
It was useless

Excessum 07-17-2007 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Acidreptile (Post 179075)
You tried to recognize the signs
To avoid another mistake
It was useless

nice, you are definitely progressing! ^^

like meteor
you passed me by
and left my heart willing

Alastor 07-17-2007 05:58 PM
I always thought Haiku was strictly 5 syllables, then 7 syllables, and then 5 again. But after some quick searching, apparently non-Japanese Haiku is, as said in the first thread post, a maximum of no more than 3 lines and 18 syllables. Anyway, writing something quick here.

Mountain with fire
A blue as clear as water
Amidst winter's cool

Shaelyn 07-18-2007 02:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alastor (Post 180859)
I always thought Haiku was strictly 5 syllables, then 7 syllables, and then 5 again.
yeah, that's what I was always told too. >.> It's what I'm used to now.

Shouldn't be like this
Working in a cube all day
Bitter loneliness

Excessum 07-21-2007 03:21 PM
duck tape the heart
and run to find a hammer
don't cry


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