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Excessum 07-07-2007 12:17 PM

English freestyle Haiku thread
 
I guess that most people here have encountered Haiku's in their path to J-knowledge :) It is a bit touchy subject as haiku's very often are not acknowledged as a form of poetry in the western countries. Apart from that a whole english haiku writing culture emerged in the early 20th century, followers of which are still on it and there are lots of them...
Anyway, everyone can try writing a haiku, though it's more complicated than it may seem at the 1st look...
Here are the basic rules a beginner haiku author must follow:

-the whole haiku must consist of not more than 18 syllables
-there must not be more than 3 lines per haiku

-haiku is not a report or description of surroundings, usage of irony and juicy metaphors is highly welcome.

So, as this is a freestyle Haiku thread, none of your personal haiku collection should be posted. Only the feelings and thoughts that are too big to fit in your head at the present time should be written here.

Good luck! :)

Excessum 07-07-2007 12:18 PM

we work from day to day,
thinking that it's normal.
we are prisoners.

kitski 07-09-2007 02:46 PM

i like haiku.we had to write it in school.great thread.
aww love your haiku.it says it all.

Excessum 07-09-2007 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitski (Post 173698)
i like haiku.we had to write it in school.great thread.
aww love your haiku.it says it all.

Thank you! ^^
show us what you got, Kitski (no searching through old notepads, do it freestyle!)

your eyes are so deep
freezing my soul
but my will is strong

kitski 07-09-2007 03:04 PM

i just eat a salat
full of potatoes
now i need a rest.

uhh im bad at it..:D..im at work now.later when im home.ill try to but more soul in it.^_^

kitski 07-09-2007 03:05 PM

the salat is a potatoe salatXD

Excessum 07-09-2007 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitski (Post 173716)
i just eat a salat
full of potatoes
now i need a rest.

i just ran away
with tears in my eyes
stomach hurts from laughing

:D :D

kitski 07-09-2007 08:23 PM

hehe
:D
sitting on the chair
watching ex laughing loudly
makes me laugh as well

Excessum 07-09-2007 08:27 PM

lost my breath while laughing
can't get air
my eyes are closed

kitski 07-09-2007 08:49 PM

pats ex on the head
to laugh is to feel joy (one syllable missing XD)
do not ever lose it.

Excessum 07-09-2007 08:53 PM

got blinded by the view
as i opened my eyes
now i can't see anything... but you...

i made that one extra syllable to make it up for you, Kitski!

though this was not a haiku anymore... :P

kitski 07-09-2007 09:00 PM

watching in exs eyes
am i blocking the sun now
smiles kindly to ex

Excessum 07-09-2007 09:02 PM

head as heavy as stone
lips won't make a smile
desperation and thrill

kitski 07-09-2007 09:08 PM

looking in the sky
dreaming of a green grass land
wanting to be saved

Excessum 07-09-2007 09:11 PM

raindrops splashing against the window
fear in their eyes
peace

kitski 07-09-2007 09:15 PM

sorrow in my heart
what is happening to me
i need to go now

Acidreptile 07-09-2007 09:17 PM

Hitler,Gengis Khan
Me,you
Everybody wants to rule the world
Napoleon,Bush
Me,you
Everybody wants to rule the world

Excessum 07-09-2007 09:17 PM

looks at her walking away
opening the mouth to say STOP!
silence

IamKira 07-09-2007 09:19 PM

I love musashi!
she is my special person
forever bonded!:rheart:

Excessum 07-10-2007 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acidreptile (Post 174206)
Hitler,Gengis Khan
Me,you
Everybody wants to rule the world
Napoleon,Bush
Me,you
Everybody wants to rule the world

Nice! :D

i hear the people shouting
the simple truth just died
we are all liars

kitski 07-10-2007 10:15 AM

trapped again in this box
a box what i call plain work
evening come sooner

Excessum 07-10-2007 10:18 AM

breaking walls
my fists are bleeding
a ray of light

kitski 07-10-2007 07:35 PM

under the starry sky
warm breeze welcomes me
is this summer sign?

Fyer 07-10-2007 07:50 PM

Unable to breathe,
Your eyes into mine,
Your indescribable love.

Excessum 07-11-2007 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fyer (Post 175073)
Unable to breathe,
Your eyes into mine,
Your indescribable love.

awsm!

spitting the blood
aching fists
to fight is to lose

Yggdrazzil 07-11-2007 10:16 AM

nervous sweaty palms
another glance your way
dare I approach you?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah Its hard to come up with something that creates atmosphere in so few words!!!

Acidreptile 07-11-2007 10:24 AM

Minority against majority
Maniac madness invasion
Chaos unleashed
Only one shall win

Excessum 07-11-2007 10:26 AM

that's the whole point ^^

running down the hill
away from your past
to fall down and break your neck

1... 2... 3... 4... metaphors in just 3 lines o_O i'm getting the hang of this...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acidreptile (Post 175899)
Minority against majority
Maniac madness invasion
Chaos unleashed
Only one shall win

khm... only 3 lines and 18 syllables in a haiku AR, pwease!

Yggdrazzil 07-11-2007 10:26 AM

Yeah yer pretty good at it :D

Yggdrazzil 07-11-2007 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acidreptile (Post 175899)
Minority against majority
Maniac madness invasion
Chaos unleashed
Only one shall win

-the whole haiku must consist of not more than 18 syllables
-there must not be more than 3 lines per haiku
-haiku is not a report or description of surroundings, usage of irony and juicy metaphors is highly welcome.

Excessum 07-11-2007 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yggdrazzil (Post 175903)
Yeah yer pretty good at it :D

Why thank you, Yggdrazzil :marusmile: (btw... why do you have such a hard-to-type/impossible-to-pronounce nickname? o_O)

Acidreptile 07-11-2007 10:35 AM

Don't dare
Learn defeat
To break walls

Acidreptile 07-11-2007 10:40 AM

You shall be blessed
Not only the stupid
But everyone else

Yggdrazzil 07-11-2007 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Excessum (Post 175913)
Why thank you, Yggdrazzil :marusmile: (btw... why do you have such a hard-to-type/impossible-to-pronounce nickname? o_O)

not a haiku this:

"Problem in pronouncing,
this nervewracking nickname?
no biggie, just call me yggie !! :)"

Excessum 07-11-2007 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acidreptile (Post 175926)
You shall be blessed
Not only the stupid
But everyone else

i did not get it o_O... sorry m8!

seagull leaves the shore
the sky and see awaits
loneliness is freedom

Acidreptile 07-11-2007 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Excessum (Post 175931)
i did not get it o_O... sorry m8!

seagull leaves the shore
the sky and see awaits
loneliness is freedom

That was awesome:vsign:

Excessum 07-11-2007 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yggdrazzil (Post 175929)
not a haiku this:

"Problem in pronouncing,
this nervewracking nickname?
no biggie, just call me yggie !! :)"

I'll call you Double-G... GG lol :D
but you still did not answer the question "why?" :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acidreptile (Post 175934)
That was awesome:vsign:

Thanks... :marusmile:
sounds kind of strange, doesn't it? feels like it eed to be continued, though in the same time everything's said in these 3 lines... hmm... i guess that's a part of the Haiku philosophy...

Yggdrazzil 07-11-2007 11:28 AM

Yggdrazzil is a name I read in a comic called Storm when i was ..10..my mum gave me that comic when I was sick :) When I got in touch with my first internet application (being the chatprogram that came along with command & conquer, called westwood chat) I picked that username, and I have used it ever since :D It's also the name of practically any character I make in a game, if the name length is supported.

Excessum 07-11-2007 04:01 PM

cool! thank you for sharing this info with us! ^^

never to risk, never to drink sake
not an alcoholic?
your life is a waste

authors note: text is not to be taken directly... sake/alcohol is a metaphor...

82riceballs 07-11-2007 05:21 PM

here's mine:

I used to collect
shiny state quarters, until...
the ice cream truck came.

Humpty-Dumpty-san:
If you go on a diet,
you won't fall again.

:D


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