Inter-racial attraction

[bELyVIS]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

BelyVIS' commentary on Western marriage and his perception of Eastern gender roles makes him an orientalist which is racist in the broader sense.

Furthermore his claim that the degradation of marriage in Western society is due to women rebelling against tradition makes him sexist as it puts the blame of said degradation at their feet. (For the record. I don't believe marriage in the West is degrading. Times are changing sure but I wouldn't say it's degrading)

Quit trying to goad me into another fight. I think it's best if neither of us comments on the others' comment.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

First, let me give you a round of (laughing) applause. You gave me the exact answer I expected - and that isn`t a good thing.



You feel repulsion toward a woman making a choice?
All of my life, I have believed that efforts toward equality for women were to give women the ability to make their own choices - regardless of what those choices may be.

You`re telling me now that there is a CORRECT choice that should be made, and an INCORRECT choice that should never be made? How is that increasing the options for women? How is that giving them the right to live life as they feel fit? They`re wrong not to go out and do the exact same things as men?

Believing that your place is in the home because you are inferior is a world away from WANTING to be the home-maker and caregiver to the children because it is something you enjoy.
Or wait - that enjoyment is only felt because those women have been so very oppressed that they can`t make their own choices, right? They need to be told what is good for them by the other more "enlightened" women, right? Wow, doesn`t sound all that different from being oppressed by men - but because it`s women it is alright to judge and pressure them?

Why, exactly, is not emulating a man "inferior" in your eyes?

You know what the brilliant thing about all of this is?

IT'S MY OPINION.

The fact that you and so many others have come on here to attack me about MY OPINION says that YOU think there's a "correct" choice also. So please, kindly back the fuck off. I'm entitled to my honest feelings, my honest thoughts. You asked for them. I gave them. I, on the other hand, didn't ask for your sarcasm. Why is it so damned impossible for someone to have a discussion, to say what they think and have that be the end of it, on this forum? My God.

What I'm arguing is that women make that choice because they were conditioned to think a certain way. It's like a virus that keeps spreading. In my opinion, it's brainwashing. When someone is brought up to think, "I'm inferior, my place is in the house," OF COURSE they're going to make the "choice" to stay in the house. OF COURSE they're going to look at independent women and think that they aren't acting like "real women." What I don't like about that is that those "inferior women" will continue spreading the virus - onto other men and women, onto their children. Their children will be brought up to think that women belong in the kitchen. And then, yes - they, too, will make their "choices." THOSE are the women who I don't appreciate.

It's funny that you completely left out my last paragraph. It's there that I go on to explain that, though these are my initial feelings, I also want to feel more open minded about it by asking why they think this way, why they make these "choices." Of course, you completely ignored it. I guess because you, like so many others before you, really just want to pick another fight. :/

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by ozkai

This thread is going waaaaaaaayyyyyyyy OFF TOPIC!

True.

But I thought that happened with all threads. Why stop the love?

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

You know what the brilliant thing about all of this is?

IT'S MY OPINION.

The fact that you and so many others have come on here to attack me about MY OPINION says that YOU think there's a "correct" choice also. So please, kindly back the fuck off. I'm entitled to my honest feelings, my honest thoughts. You asked for them. I gave them. I, on the other hand, didn't ask for your sarcasm. Why is it so damned impossible for someone to have a discussion, to say what they think and have that be the end of it, on this forum? My God.

What I'm arguing is that women make that choice because they were conditioned to think a certain way. It's like a virus that keeps spreading. In my opinion, it's brainwashing. When someone is brought up to think, "I'm inferior, my place is in the house," OF COURSE they're going to make the "choice" to stay in the house. OF COURSE they're going to look at independent women and think that they aren't acting like "real women." What I don't like about that is that those "inferior women" will continue spreading the virus - onto other men and women, onto their children. Their children will be brought up to think that women belong in the kitchen. And then, yes - they, too, will make their "choices." THOSE are the women who I don't appreciate.

It's funny that you completely left out my last paragraph. It's there that I go on to explain that, though these are my initial feelings, I also want to feel more open minded about it by asking why they think this way, why they make these "choices." Of course, you completely ignored it. I guess because you, like so many others before you, really just want to pick another fight. :/

Actually, I didn`t leave out your last paragraph - nor did I ignore it. Is it impossible for you to imagine that there may be women who would still make the choice without "brainwashing"?
My opinion isn`t that there is a right or wrong choice - In fact, the choice itself doesn`t matter a bit to me. What is important is that there is an opportunity to make a choice. Your choice is up to YOU - the choices of other women should be up to THEM.
Why is it that so many who call themselves "feminists" seem to think that if a woman doesn`t make the choice to go out and do all the same things as a man that she must be brainwashed, oppressed, or have an inferiority complex?

I honestly do not understand where THAT thinking comes from. Are women not intelligent enough to make their own decisions without having to be told which is the "right" one? I find the implications of that in your opinion quite offensive, to be honest.
Should women all suddenly stop doing things they enjoy simply because at some point that was (possibly) part of some oppressive scheme? If a woman loves to cook in her own kitchen, why shouldn`t she continue to do so?

There is nothing I detest more than someone forcing their view of the world and their opinion of what is right on others. That goes for men to women, men to men, women to women, and women to men. Everyone should have the equal opportunity to make their own decisions in life. That is true equality.

I`ll make it very very clear, as you may miss it otherwise - My answer to the question of why a woman would ever choose to take the path YOU consider inferior...
Maybe, just maybe, as hard as it may be for you to imagine... because they actually WANT to take that path. Because they have their own personality, wishes, dreams and desires, and are making decisions to fulfill them.

And, just another small question - when on earth did I ever say anything that could be interpreted as "women choosing not to take a submissive role look at other women as 'not real women'"? The only one who has said that one type of woman or her choice is inferior to another has been you, mercedesjin.

[bELyVIS]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Actually, I didn`t leave out your last paragraph - nor did I ignore it. Is it impossible for you to imagine that there may be women who would still make the choice without "brainwashing"?
My opinion isn`t that there is a right or wrong choice - In fact, the choice itself doesn`t matter a bit to me. What is important is that there is an opportunity to make a choice. Your choice is up to YOU - the choices of other women should be up to THEM.
Why is it that so many who call themselves "feminists" seem to think that if a woman doesn`t make the choice to go out and do all the same things as a man that she must be brainwashed, oppressed, or have an inferiority complex?

I honestly do not understand where THAT thinking comes from. Are women not intelligent enough to make their own decisions without having to be told which is the "right" one? I find the implications of that in your opinion quite offensive, to be honest.
Should women all suddenly stop doing things they enjoy simply because at some point that was (possibly) part of some oppressive scheme? If a woman loves to cook in her own kitchen, why shouldn`t she continue to do so?

There is nothing I detest more than someone forcing their view of the world and their opinion of what is right on others. That goes for men to women, men to men, women to women, and women to men. Everyone should have the equal opportunity to make their own decisions in life. That is true equality.

I`ll make it very very clear, as you may miss it otherwise - My answer to the question of why a woman would ever choose to take the path YOU consider inferior...
Maybe, just maybe, as hard as it may be for you to imagine... because they actually WANT to take that path. Because they have their own personality, wishes, dreams and desires, and are making decisions to fulfill them.

And, just another small question - when on earth did I ever say anything that could be interpreted as "women choosing not to take a submissive role look at other women as 'not real women'"? The only one who has said that one type of woman or her choice is inferior to another has been you, mercedesjin.

Well put.

[SleekStylz]

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!...I feel alot of heat in this room....thats all i gotta say

[MMM]

Mercedesjin, how dare you lambaste Nyororin for "ignoring" a part of your post when you have publicly declared you are going to ignore me?

Let's be clear you are ignoring me for saying the phrase "Racism is wherever you want to find it."

You talk about your opinion and put it in all caps.

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

You know what the brilliant thing about all of this is?

IT'S MY OPINION.

But when it is my opinion, I am a racist. When it is bELyVIS' opinion he is a racist and a sexist. Nyororin's opinion is "repulsive".

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

I have been attacked and insulted on this forum left and right. I'm sick of it.

By who? You attack, calling people racists, sexists, and assholes, but of someone disagrees with you then YOU are the victim?

bELyVIS told you to get over it when talking about your pedestal of victimization, and you said he was "denying your heritage". You declared yourself a "second-class American" and he told you to get over it. That made him a racist.

I am not going to tell you to get over it, but I will say grow up. Get your nose out of the self-victimizing literature and smell the roses.

I am a straight white male, which in the literature you have quoted is the trifecta of wrong. You want me to apologize for being what God made me, and that is not going to happen. I wish you were the first person who made me the bad guy for being a straight white man. I told you long ago, mercedesjin, that I was fighting for justice before you were even born. I don't expect you to understand that because this is a forum and all we are is words to each other. You remind me of those who assumed I had to have been gay because there is no other reason why I would have been fighting for justice.

That way of thinking is sad, because it is defeatist. It creates a culture of victimization and "us vs. them". I didn't let it bother me so much then but to be honest, it bothers me now. I won't go into detail about the work I did, but you are free to ask if it makes a difference.

In my days of being on the front line of fighting for justice and equality the first thing was to respect your ally and the second was to know your enemy. You have done the absolute opposite, mercedesjin. You know nothing of your allies and disrespect them. You toss around words like racist and sexist to those that are not. It is not a wise strategy to reduce the power of the words in your arsenal by using them on potential allies.

Chances are, mercedesjin, you would agree in general with the liberal thinking of bELyVIS, Nyororin, and myself. Unfortunately you have created a situation where it is you against the world. You insult Nyororin, bELyVIS, and me? We were your potential allies. That tells my you are in a personal vicitimization mode and strike out at everyone. I will sound like a know-it-all if I say this isn't abnormal for students your age, but it isn't abnormal for students your age.

I know I am just words on a computer screen, but since you show such disdain for your potential allies, I am curious who you do respect? I know it isn't anyone here.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Actually, I didn`t leave out your last paragraph - nor did I ignore it. Is it impossible for you to imagine that there may be women who would still make the choice without "brainwashing"?
My opinion isn`t that there is a right or wrong choice - In fact, the choice itself doesn`t matter a bit to me. What is important is that there is an opportunity to make a choice. Your choice is up to YOU - the choices of other women should be up to THEM.
Why is it that so many who call themselves "feminists" seem to think that if a woman doesn`t make the choice to go out and do all the same things as a man that she must be brainwashed, oppressed, or have an inferiority complex?

I honestly do not understand where THAT thinking comes from. Are women not intelligent enough to make their own decisions without having to be told which is the "right" one? I find the implications of that in your opinion quite offensive, to be honest.
Should women all suddenly stop doing things they enjoy simply because at some point that was (possibly) part of some oppressive scheme? If a woman loves to cook in her own kitchen, why shouldn`t she continue to do so?

There is nothing I detest more than someone forcing their view of the world and their opinion of what is right on others. That goes for men to women, men to men, women to women, and women to men. Everyone should have the equal opportunity to make their own decisions in life. That is true equality.

I`ll make it very very clear, as you may miss it otherwise - My answer to the question of why a woman would ever choose to take the path YOU consider inferior...
Maybe, just maybe, as hard as it may be for you to imagine... because they actually WANT to take that path. Because they have their own personality, wishes, dreams and desires, and are making decisions to fulfill them.

And, just another small question - when on earth did I ever say anything that could be interpreted as "women choosing not to take a submissive role look at other women as 'not real women'"? The only one who has said that one type of woman or her choice is inferior to another has been you, mercedesjin.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm forcing my opinion on others? Have I not said time and again that this is my OWN PERSONAL OPINION? Have I not said time and again that people are jumping on ME for my opinion? Wouldn't that mean that YOU ARE THE ONES who are FORCING YOUR OPINIONS ON ME?

Why do these women want to take that path? Why is it a part of their personality to stay at home and take care of the house and their husbands? Feminists aren't fighting against these individual women - we're fighting against the system that makes women think that they have a particular role to fulfill. It's the system, in my opinion, that conditions and brainwashes women into thinking that they have a place in this society. Any human being can want many things. If society tells me that, in order to be successful, I must make a lot of money and buy a big house - then gosh darn it, I'm going to want to make a lot of money and buy a big house. If society tells women that, in order to be good wives, they need to stay at home and cook and take care of their husbands - well, then, I'm sure many women will want to do just that.

Conditioning is a state that goes deep into the subconscious. It effects everyone - even to the smallest details, such as someone's favorite color... or, to the larger issues, such as someone preferring a white skin over black skin. It also effects how people perceive their roles in society. In my society, as a black woman, I've been told that I need to stand up for myself constantly. So, gosh darn it, I'll do just that. I've also been told constantly that my place is in the kitchen, cooking for men and cleaning up after men. That's one thing that I decided I wouldn't do. I could have CHOSEN to do it, yes. I would have been HAPPY doing it, yes - because hey, that's what I wanted. I know women who are happy doing just that. I'm not fighting against those women, though. I'm fighting against the system that suggested to us and conditioned us into thinking that we belong in the house, into making us happy acting as housewives because we think that's our only role. When asked, "What do you want to be?" I've seen little girls say, "A mommy." And, when asked if they knew if they could go out and do anything else, I've seen them say no. Sad, right?

A woman can cook. I'm not arguing against that. What I am arguing against is the idea that a woman must cook - only a woman, not a man - because that's her role. Hey, I love cooking. I'll cook for myself and others any day. But I also look towards others - including men - to do the same for me. That's what equality is all about, right? (And, I'm not sure if you know where this conversation stemmed from - but, if you look back a few pages, you'll see that this is all I've been arguing against from the beginning. We were talking about 50-50 relationships. Some thought that one must dominate the other in a relationship for it to work properly.)

As for your opinion, I wasn't talking about the choices women make. I was talking about your opinion, and my opinion, and the opinions on this thread. There are countless opinions, 20 pages worth. So - well, why is it MY opinion that people have jumped on? That's really what I was referring to.

I don't know where you got the impression that many feminists are like that. In my experience, feminists are men and women who fight so that women have the same economic chances as men. In my experience, feminists are men and women who fight ardently against violence against women. I think you have a stereotypical image of a feminist, the type of image processed by oppressors so that people will back away from the idea of equality.

Also, I never said that you said they're not real women. I looked back. I checked. I really did not say that. I was speaking of different societies in general who most certainly do think and feel that way. Right now, I'm in a society that thinks I'm not a real woman for thinking this way. Believe me, if you'd said that to me, I wouldn't have responded so calmly.

[Nyororin]

I don`t like to take about my personal life all that deeply... but... I feel particularly frustrated by your statements as I AM a woman who has made the choice to take the "traditional" wifely role. All on my own. Without being pressured or oppressed into it. So try for a moment to realize that I am actually coming from the other side of this.

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

Why do these women want to take that path? Why is it a part of their personality to stay at home and take care of the house and their husbands? Feminists aren't fighting against these individual women - we're fighting against the system that makes women think that they have a particular role to fulfill. It's the system, in my opinion, that conditions and brainwashes women into thinking that they have a place in this society. Any human being can want many things. If society tells me that, in order to be successful, I must make a lot of money and buy a big house - then gosh darn it, I'm going to want to make a lot of money and buy a big house. If society tells women that, in order to be good wives, they need to stay at home and cook and take care of their husbands - well, then, I'm sure many women will want to do just that.

You persist in saying that women who made these choices or are happy in these roles feel that way ONLY because society has conditioned them to feel that way. Perhaps that is true in some cases. However, it is forcing your opinion if you say that it is the only possible reason.

Conditioning is a state that goes deep into the subconscious. It effects everyone - even to the smallest details, such as someone's favorite color... or, to the larger issues, such as someone preferring a white skin over black skin. It also effects how people perceive their roles in society. In my society, as a black woman, I've been told that I need to stand up for myself constantly. So, gosh darn it, I'll do just that. I've also been told constantly that my place is in the kitchen, cooking for men and cleaning up after men. That's one thing that I decided I wouldn't do. I could have CHOSEN to do it, yes. I would have been HAPPY doing it, yes - because hey, that's what I wanted. I know women who are happy doing just that. I'm not fighting against those women, though. I'm fighting against the system that suggested to us and conditioned us into thinking that we belong in the house, into making us happy acting as housewives because we think that's our only role.

The only way a woman could be happy in that role is if she has been conditioned to believe it is the only one? That is certainly a revelation to me as I have a university degree and had a very nice career - but still made the active choice to assume the role I currently have. I agree that a woman shouldn`t make a choice against her true desires based on pressure from society... But to rule out the possibility that a woman could make that choice without having been brainwashed into it strikes me as a bit odd. Not everything is oppression.

When asked, "What do you want to be?" I've seen little girls say, "A mommy." And, when asked if they knew if they could go out and do anything else, I've seen them say no. Sad, right?

Not necessarily. I`ll tell you a little story. A long long time ago, when I was in grade school, I was asked that sort of question and gave a similar answer. My teacher spent the rest of the year trying with all her might to convince me that ANYTHING was better than that. I could be anything! - as long as it wasn`t a wife and mother. That honestly made me feel horrible. It made me feel ashamed and that I should hide how I really felt. I dreaded having to make up something to make everyone happy whenever we had to talk about what we wanted to be. If I could be anything, why was that one option wrong? Is it not just as bad to belittle a little girl saying she wants to be a doctor as it is to be appalled that she wants to be a wife/mother?

A woman can cook. I'm not arguing against that. What I am arguing against is the idea that a woman must cook - only a woman, not a man - because that's her role. Hey, I love cooking. I'll cook for myself and others any day. But I also look towards others - including men - to do the same for me. That's what equality is all about, right? (And, I'm not sure if you know where this conversation stemmed from - but, if you look back a few pages, you'll see that this is all I've been arguing against from the beginning. We were talking about 50-50 relationships. Some thought that one must dominate the other in a relationship for it to work properly.)

In the situation where one partner is out working and the other is not - shouldn`t the one not out working take equal responsibility via cooking/housework? I do not expect my husband to cook or clean because he is out working every day - to support the household. That work is far more stressful than what I do each day. I would be quite disgusted with myself if I were so selfish as to demand that he cook and clean after spending the day working. Despite being the one "in the home" I feel our relationship is entirely equal. Not only that, I am extremely happy. And before you say that this is because I do not know anything else - I worked full time and supported us at one point. I hated it.

As for your opinion, I wasn't talking about the choices women make. I was talking about your opinion, and my opinion, and the opinions on this thread. There are countless opinions, 20 pages worth. So - well, why is it MY opinion that people have jumped on? That's really what I was referring to.

Do you really want me to answer this?

I don't know where you got the impression that many feminists are like that. In my experience, feminists are men and women who fight so that women have the same economic chances as men. In my experience, feminists are men and women who fight ardently against violence against women. I think you have a stereotypical image of a feminist, the type of image processed by oppressors so that people will back away from the idea of equality.

I have gotten this impression through the actions self proclaimed feminists have taken in my direct vicinity. I have been told countless times that I am being oppressed. That my husband is forcing me into a subservient position. I have been called a disgrace to feminism (for having a degree and a career and then opting out of it... *gasp*). I have been told by a large number of ("feminist") women that I should be ashamed of myself for not making the "right" choices. I have been informed that I am a terrible mother for not pushing the "right" ideals on my son.
I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have been told that I should leave my husband because "he made me quit my job" or because "he keeps me at home" or "he robbed me of my dreams" along with various other completely insane assumptions. I will never forget opening a bottle for my husband while his hands were full - and turning around to see the shock and disgust aimed in his direction.

If that is the stereotype, then these women need to be told not to work so hard to support it.

Also, I never said that you said they're not real women. I looked back. I checked. I really did not say that. I was speaking of different societies in general who most certainly do think and feel that way. Right now, I'm in a society that thinks I'm not a real woman for thinking this way. Believe me, if you'd said that to me, I wouldn't have responded so calmly.

- "What I'm arguing is that women make that choice because they were conditioned to think a certain way. It's like a virus that keeps spreading. In my opinion, it's brainwashing. When someone is brought up to think, "I'm inferior, my place is in the house,"OF COURSE they're going to make the "choice" to stay in the house. OF COURSE they're going to look at independent women and think that they aren't acting like "real women." "
Follow your own logic. Women only make the choice to stay home because they were brainwashed and conditioned to think it is right. Therefore, all women who stay at home have been brainwashed and conditioned to feel that way. I made the "choice" to stay in the house - so of course, I must be looking at independent women and thinking they aren`t acting like "real women", right?

[bELyVIS]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm forcing my opinion on others? Have I not said time and again that this is my OWN PERSONAL OPINION? Have I not said time and again that people are jumping on ME for my opinion? Wouldn't that mean that YOU ARE THE ONES who are FORCING YOUR OPINIONS ON ME?

Why do these women want to take that path? Why is it a part of their personality to stay at home and take care of the house and their husbands? Feminists aren't fighting against these individual women - we're fighting against the system that makes women think that they have a particular role to fulfill. It's the system, in my opinion, that conditions and brainwashes women into thinking that they have a place in this society. Any human being can want many things. If society tells me that, in order to be successful, I must make a lot of money and buy a big house - then gosh darn it, I'm going to want to make a lot of money and buy a big house. If society tells women that, in order to be good wives, they need to stay at home and cook and take care of their husbands - well, then, I'm sure many women will want to do just that.

Conditioning is a state that goes deep into the subconscious. It effects everyone - even to the smallest details, such as someone's favorite color... or, to the larger issues, such as someone preferring a white skin over black skin. It also effects how people perceive their roles in society. In my society, as a black woman, I've been told that I need to stand up for myself constantly. So, gosh darn it, I'll do just that. I've also been told constantly that my place is in the kitchen, cooking for men and cleaning up after men. That's one thing that I decided I wouldn't do. I could have CHOSEN to do it, yes. I would have been HAPPY doing it, yes - because hey, that's what I wanted. I know women who are happy doing just that. I'm not fighting against those women, though. I'm fighting against the system that suggested to us and conditioned us into thinking that we belong in the house, into making us happy acting as housewives because we think that's our only role. When asked, "What do you want to be?" I've seen little girls say, "A mommy." And, when asked if they knew if they could go out and do anything else, I've seen them say no. Sad, right?

A woman can cook. I'm not arguing against that. What I am arguing against is the idea that a woman must cook - only a woman, not a man - because that's her role. Hey, I love cooking. I'll cook for myself and others any day. But I also look towards others - including men - to do the same for me. That's what equality is all about, right? (And, I'm not sure if you know where this conversation stemmed from - but, if you look back a few pages, you'll see that this is all I've been arguing against from the beginning. We were talking about 50-50 relationships. Some thought that one must dominate the other in a relationship for it to work properly.)

As for your opinion, I wasn't talking about the choices women make. I was talking about your opinion, and my opinion, and the opinions on this thread. There are countless opinions, 20 pages worth. So - well, why is it MY opinion that people have jumped on? That's really what I was referring to.

I don't know where you got the impression that many feminists are like that. In my experience, feminists are men and women who fight so that women have the same economic chances as men. In my experience, feminists are men and women who fight ardently against violence against women. I think you have a stereotypical image of a feminist, the type of image processed by oppressors so that people will back away from the idea of equality.

Also, I never said that you said they're not real women. I looked back. I checked. I really did not say that. I was speaking of different societies in general who most certainly do think and feel that way. Right now, I'm in a society that thinks I'm not a real woman for thinking this way. Believe me, if you'd said that to me, I wouldn't have responded so calmly.

Who here has forced opinions on you? It is the opposite if you ask me (and probably others here).
Let's see, I cook (better than my wife), clean, believe in equal pay and opportunities for women, am I a feminist? No, you called me a sexist because I believe that women overcompensating (look that up) for equal rights have caused the breakdown of the traditional American (not Western, take note other person) marriage. I spend much of my time trying to undo my wife's "conditioning" of feeling inferior to a man. Does this sound like a sexist? I guess I am then. All I know is my wife is happy and I am happy.
You call me a racist for stating that I liked how Asian women treated me over American women. Last time I checked America was made up of many races and I dated different ones and was married before to an American (yes, she was white) woman and was not happy because I was never treated as an equal partner. This was her "conditioning" that she was more equal than me. So to you this was racist and then you decided to bring your skin color into it and because of your feeling (your conditioning) of inferiority you lashed out at me, and others, and accused us of being racist against you. No one here ever said anything about your being black made you any less important than any of us.
If anything, you are a racist for using your skin color as a method to get your opinion across. Did you know I have black relatives in my family tree, not just married but blood relatives? My family have been anti-racist for many years and have gotten more heartache for this than you can imagine. If you think blacks have a tough time now, try being married to a black person in the 1920's. I admire my relatives for having such guts, some were executed in Germany for speaking out against the treatment of the Jews during WWII.
Many people have had much worse times than you. They stuck to what they felt was right but didn't have the rights, like you enjoy today, to say much less force their opinion on anyone.
You really need to take a hard look at yourself. Do you really believe being so judgmental wins over anyone to your way of thinking? No is what I think.
BTW, I do marriage/relationship as well as other personal problems counselling. Scary who they allow to mess with your head just for me taking some extra college classes, isn't it?