Girl help
 

Hello JF members...

I need some advice. I have never had a girl friend in my entire life, and I am 16 years old (laugh it up). I just can not talk to women, and I really feel ugly. I am very shy and can only think about nerdy things when around women, and I only have a few friends that are guys. I just don't know how to communicate with people, and I need help. I was born with little emotion (I forget what it is called, but if I find a link I'll post it) and so I must "fake" my emotions. I know this might be hard to beleive for some of you, but it is true. I was also born blind in my left eye, due to the nerve ending at the back of the eye not being fully connected to the brain or something. Anyways, just thinking about all this nonsense makes me sad, and that is why I can't talk. I am just not confident and I don't know how to be. I ask for you help because this is the first community I feel comfortable in, and no one else can help. Thank you for anything you can give me to fill this emptiness inside of me.

EDIT: I found the link...

Can a person be born without an emotion? - Yahoo! Answers

The Amygdala
Amygdala - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Doesn't the fact you want a girlfriend prove you have emotion? Those that truly have no emotions have no interest in the opposite sex.

I guess I have little, I mean of course I have a little. Just damaged...

well it sounds like something i'm sure many people will tell you but first you must love yourself. no one can love you if you don't love yourself (trust me been there done that). Its very emotionally trying to be with someone who is constantly down.
Tell yourself: "OK I'm blind in my left eye but so what there's plenty of people out there who are completely blind." (something along those lines)
or
"Yeah I'm not really emotional but at least I'm not cruel to people and don't start crying every 5 seconds" (or as said before something along those lines that'll make you feel less bad about those things)
A good way to meet people in general is join something at school or your community that interests you. This way you have to meet people and talk to them about something, potentially even a girl or once you make friends there they might even introduce you to their friends outside the group/club.

I can't love myself, I just can't. My mind wont let me... I just see all my mistakes and flaws. I am a dumb butt in real life, did you know? I fake everything I do... all I can do is computer stuff, I know nothing about school or life. I don't want to be a robot though... I try to say I am smart, and truly think it, but in the end I go to bed feeling horrible.

can you at least like yourself? we all have flaws and faults. you're 16 so you're also battling with hormones lol. but seriously you just said you're good at computers, there you go, that's something to like about yourself, you have a skill that is much wanted in this world. make a list of all the things you like about yourself and tell yourself that everyday ....don't think about your faults to much (i know its hard but dammit you gotta do that as to not have a reason to "hate" yourself:) ) and if there is absolutely NOTHING you can do, you might want to go talk to a psychologist or something they know more about this kind of stuff especially the thing without emotions

I don't have the money for that... that is another thing, my family is very poor and college is going to be hard for me. Even with all the support from scholarships and whatnot.... Thank you for the advice, it is just hard. Because I know, deep down inside, that I am truly stupid.

well if you're truly stupid don't go to college
i'm just kidding
you aren't stupid, you're a teenager going through puberty.
granted there's stupid people out there but a lot of them fried their brains with drugs
what about your school counselor they have to treat everything confidential (unless its abuse or somebodies life is at risk)

I've gone through puberty already, I've been feeling this way since I can remember... and I have talked to them, they give general bull crap advice and pretend to care. Thank you for talking to me, I have to go to bed now but I will be back on tomorrow, good bye and good night.

sorry somehow posted twice ignore this

sorry i couldn't help

You did help, you gave me the advice I needed. I just cant use it.

well that's not much ey?

Honestly, the way you're acting right now sounds dangerously like puberty.

There's no need to worry about how "stupid" you are. Are you at least passing your classes?

Yes, straight A's. But it is not because I am smart, I don't know what I am doing except for the computer classes. Until two years ago, I didn't even fucking know the difference between a country and a continent...

At least you're passing. And straight A's?

Seriously... If you're good with computers, did you not know you could become an engineer? Lighten up on yourself.

Be happy, be happy.

I am well aware of the job possibilities, I hope to be a software developer at Microsoft one day. But computers is all I know... I want to be smart but I was not presented with the knowledge I desire now when I was a child. My childhood was different than most. Thank you for talking to me, but no one can help in this world, because no one else is like me that I know. You can close this thread moderators... I hope I don't sound cruel or ungrateful, just I found out I can't be fixed.

Muwahahahaha!


Right, not thats out my system I'm gonna do what I do best and speak my mind? that ok? tough :)

Right, first thing I need to say is get some balls dude! Sounds like mr.winkie has packed his up and left! The ladys already got one p*ssy, they dont need another. No girl wants to date a guy thats gonna sit and wallow in his own self pity all night.

No matter what imperfections you have, if you take a shower, do your hair etc and make yourself look presentable and approachable, SOMEONE will talk to you and you gotta be prepared to talk back. If you can only think of nerdy things to say around girls, f*ck it, you spout how many GB's of RAM you got till your hearts content. If they don't like you for who you are then they aren't worth your time. Trust me, such a shallow person isnt worth the effort.

Eventually you will find a girl who appreciates you for who and what you are and hopefully will be kawaiipockysugoi and have lots more DVD+/-RW drives than you.

tip: online girlfriends that live in the next country don't count.

Haha comedy for the win...

Thanks, but it is not just women. It is everyone, they all seem to judge me, and everyone seems shallow because no one else likes computers. I feel like I owe it to them to talk about what they like, as they are the normals ones not me.

Did you just say the N word?

Can you please dedfine "normal" for me?

Have you looked at my picture? do you think people dont instantly judge me? I am who I am and anyone who doesn't like it can.. well.. go somewhere else.

Anyways. As above.

Threaten them to be your friend or there'll be haxxorz to go around. :O

dude define normal....

dont expect humans to think about anyone but themselves. being unique is something most people dont have and people only judge to save their own ass

My definition of normal is the general population of the community you live in accepts you.

Well you can't be so out of place or you wont have gotten so much attention in the first place. You know what I'm like, if you were a waste of space I'd of been the first to point that out.

Turn your e-penis into real balls and go out there and be yourself!

I try man, I really do, it is just hard... my brain is just not capable of doing so.

i second that

oh yeah most people are in the closet freaks (not those kinds gosh people) which means there is somebody else totally into computers just afraid to say something and are waiting for somebody else to have the balls

You said it was hard to convey emotion not to speak to people?

How old are you? Act your age dude...

You just don't understand, nobody does... age is just a number.

And if your mature enough to understand that then why arent you out there socialisng and talking to girls? did you get some female replies in this thread? yes.. Oh Em Gee.. You didnt reply to them here either...

We got a serious case here..

All you have to do is quit thinking that you are a loser. It's not that you can't do it, it's because you are not trying to do it.

I am trying don't you see! I mean I really am, it just does not work out ever. I did not give up, I wont, just I am a loser. Even my BEST fucking friend calls me a loser.

OMG!!!! i just want to give u a big hug!!! awwwwwwww ure not dumb and i know you'll say i dont understand that your brain says your dumb but, as a JF friend i'm telling you that you are not dumb and you will be an awesome guy who gets all the babes ;) :D

Some friends you got dude..

hes not a real friend. kick his pathetic ass. real friends are people who are trying to help you

He is a good guy though, I mean he doesn't care but he kinda understands me I think.

Well for one thing : You are way too negative!
That is what drives people away.
I know because that always makes me uncomfortable
whenever the people I am with have nothing positive
or interesting to say or are just hating on themselves.
I am not really sure of good advice that works for this,
but honestly you have to start (step-by-step) on
appreciating yourself and building confidence, and trust
me, if you have no hope in yourself that you will ever
be able to do this, it'll never happen. You NEED to take
it slowly and it WILL happen, it will just take some time.
But if you really really really want to help yourself, you
have to try and take those risks more than usual.

A small step could include smiling at someone you usually
wouldn't smile at.

Another thing : Normal? Ha. Trust me, there are tons of
people you would think are "normal" but really aren't.
People just don't open themselves up to who they really
are. But believe me, they're there.

Thank you for that. Slowly I will toughen myself, slowly but surely. I will try and succeed, I can feel it. All of the words in this thread and others is what I needed to hear, I thank all of you. My brain just... it is hard, but I can relate and am starting to understand.

If its any good to you, you kind of owned JF for all of half an hour, your two threads stayed at the top of the recent posts bit for ages... Still ongoing too. Or it was but ive started an argument elsewhere so maybe not :p

Oh SHAD0W, you are your arguments ;)

Thanks again.