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-   -   How much do you care about looks? (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/26031-how-much-do-you-care-about-looks.html)

wolf_requiem 08-02-2009 03:38 AM

I think these are all valid points.

For me personally, looks matter. I don't need a model per se, but I don't want a slob either. I want someone who tries to stay active and actually makes sure they look presentable before they go out the door in the morning. Someone who attends to their looks is someone who cares about themselves. If you can care for yourself, you can care for others. In other words, they care about staying healthy and how they represent themselves in front of others. I wouldn't want a slob, because that's disrespectful to the outside world, it shows you don't care enough to even try.

Of course, one can overdo it, which is being a narcissist. It also depends on the society you live in.

yuujirou 08-02-2009 03:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf_requiem (Post 755650)
I think these are all valid points.

For me personally, looks matter. I don't need a model per se, but I don't want a slob either. I want someone who tries to stay active and actually makes sure they look presentable before they go out the door in the morning. Someone who attends to their looks is someone who cares about themselves. If you can care for yourself, you can care for others. In other words, they care about staying healthy and how they represent themselves in front of others. I wouldn't want a slob, because that's disrespectful to the outside world, it shows you don't care enough to even try.

Of course, one can overdo it, which is being a narcissist. It also depends on the society you live in.

haha xD
looks like i fall under that 'narcissist' category x]

JasonTakeshi 08-02-2009 04:55 AM

Well, a "beautiful" women in my point of view, might be "ugly" in one others man's point of view. Or the vice-ver, tastes are not totally equal. So definitely, looks matter. But simply it is not generalized like the majority thinks, -personality- influences the most in your decision.

I could not date with someone who i would think "physically attractive", if i didnt like her personality. But in the other hand, i would not date with someone who doesnt take care of herself. Who does not take any effort to improve, and such.

If i had to choose someone who was "higly attractive" with a personality who would not match with mine, or someone who was not that attractive in my perspective, but would equally match my personality, i would pick the last one. No doubt.

yuujirou 08-02-2009 05:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JasonTakeshi (Post 755680)
Well, a "beautiful" women in my point of view, might be "ugly" in one others man's point of view. Or the vice-ver, tastes are not totally equal. So definitely, looks matter. But simply it is not generalized like the majority thinks, -personality- influences the most in your decision.

I could not date with someone who i would think "physically attractive", if i didnt like her personality. But in the other hand, i would not date with someone who doesnt take care of herself. Who does not take any effort to improve, and such.

If i had to choose someone who was "higly attractive" with a personality who would not match with mine, or someone who was not that attractive in my perspective, but would equally match my personality, i would pick the last one. No doubt.

the way i would interpret that scenario would be the former might serve as a very worthy one-night stand... or two.. or three... or just friend's w/ benefits x]
but the latter ..... personally, i would perceive as a cursed gift >.>'''
happiness with a burden~
but then again, like you said, it is case by case and person by person xD
so that's just my generalisation of it
lolz

kMal 08-02-2009 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight (Post 737742)
I think looks are important in a relationship, it isn't the only important thing and not the most important, but it still matters.

I mean, I can't feel attracted to an ugly girl, but I can't stand an annoying or stupid girl either so I guess balance is the most important thing. She doesn't need to be a princess or a model, just pretty, and she doesn't need to be a genius, just smart, nice etc.

As for my looks, I'm not confident with it, but I try to not think too much about it, I was born like this so there's nothing I can do, right?

When I go out I don't think the girls pay too much attention to me, not really, but they don't ignore me completely either, so I guess I'm just average.

My ex was smart AND beautiful. You don't have to be ugly to be intelligent.
I think looks are as important as any other thing, because it is the way you "attract" someone.

JasonTakeshi 08-02-2009 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yuujirou (Post 755686)
the way i would interpret that scenario would be the former might serve as a very worthy one-night stand... or two.. or three... or just friend's w/ benefits x]
but the latter ..... personally, i would perceive as a cursed gift >.>'''
happiness with a burden~
but then again, like you said, it is case by case and person by person xD
so that's just my generalisation of it
lolz

It would not necessarily be a burden. What if i like overweighted or skinny girls? And those same who i would find attractive (overweighted or skinny) does not match my personality?

You see what i mean? Generalizing looks is commun nowadays.

Seanus 08-02-2009 10:54 PM

Looks are important but so is discipline. I remember being with my Japanese girlfriend and she caught me out with 'irome wo tsukau', or looking at another girl. It was just a cursory glance like tonight in Tesco but hawkeyes spot everything. Good looks are important, aru teido.

Sblegach 08-02-2009 10:57 PM

Yes and No to your question:

No: because, I dont necessarily want a super hot chick. She doesnt have to be america's next top model or anything (dont get me wrong if a chick with a great personality and looked like that I would say yeah in a heartbeat) but I think she should have a great personality to match her looks, someone to talk too and hang out with.

Yes: because, I dont want to date a slob either >_> I mean im a bit of a neat freak, and she doesnt take care then well I probably wont try as much and it just wont work out after a while.

So yes and a no cause they're two factors that usually make the relationship last forever.

bELyVIS 08-03-2009 03:14 AM

I dated a lot of pretty looking women before, but there is much more to a woman than just the looks. Most people would say that my wife's looks are average but to me her personality and her looks together make her the most beautiful woman in the world to me.

Someone else commented about their Japanese girlfriend catching them looking at some other girl but my wife actually points them out for me to look at. By her being so confident about our relationship makes her much attractive to me than other women. Of course I have to be fair so I don't get angry if she looks at another man. I even allow her to have a poster of Jon Bon Jovi on our wall, I can understand why she finds him attractive.

Sblegach 08-03-2009 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bELyVIS (Post 755945)
I dated a lot of pretty looking women before, but there is much more to a woman than just the looks. Most people would say that my wife's looks are average but to me her personality and her looks together make her the most beautiful woman in the world to me.

Someone else commented about their Japanese girlfriend catching them looking at some other girl but my wife actually points them out for me to look at. By her being so confident about our relationship makes her much attractive to me than other women. Of course I have to be fair so I don't get angry if she looks at another man. I even allow her to have a poster of Jon Bon Jovi on our wall, I can understand why she finds him attractive.

Bon Jovi is awesome!!

Livin on a prayer.


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