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-   -   Do you go for looks or personality? (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/32328-do-you-go-looks-personality.html)

RealJames 04-19-2011 04:20 PM

2 of my students, 2 very beautiful university girls, say that until they get married they only want the most handsome guys they can get their hands on, and that once they do get married, looks have little to no importance to them, and then it becomes wealth, kindness etc that becomes top priority,.. I think that sums up how most reasonable people think

myk 04-19-2011 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TalnSG (Post 862114)
Actually yes, I can say that about many people. Not everyone - as you definitely are not among them.



Believe that if you want, but watch out because there are many exceptions to that premise and they can be rather unsettling. And this does not take into account that one's looks change over time - sometimes drastically. Some people look better with age, others do not; so basing preferences on the looks of someone in the 20's is really a crap shoot.



No one said it was all it takes, but I think we were rather clear that it is first, foremost and overrides all other considerations.

i'm not saying that personality doesn't matter, but i won't make excuses for what i said because i still stand by it, and, sadly, i'm fairly certain that what i said is representative of how the younger generation thinks about attraction.
there's definite truth ro what you said, though: looks are fleeting, and that'll be the price the shallow folks pay down the road.

unless they're rich. then they can just trade up.

TalnSG 04-19-2011 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by myk (Post 862120)
i'm not saying that personality doesn't matter, but i won't make excuses for what i said because i still stand by it, and, sadly, i'm fairly certain that what i said is representative of how the younger generation thinks about attraction.
there's definite truth ro what you said, though: looks are fleeting, and that'll be the price the shallow folks pay down the road.

unless they're rich. then they can just trade up.

Ah, finally in agreement. And yes, there is a definite shift with age. The younger and less experienced a person is, the more they will rely on looks and toys (material signs of money). Guess that is how we learn about getting burned by bad choices.

kenshinhimura 06-04-2011 07:44 AM

Im always getting attracted in the persons personality. I dont care what he look like.:)

AlexisSalas 07-06-2011 05:05 PM

Well i say both, and im sure people saying that they only look at the personality its totally FAKE cause im sure you would go out with this girl :D
Sry its a link but im to lazy :p
http://www.elperroflaco.com/photos/2.../001_small.jpg

Nameless 07-06-2011 09:19 PM

File:Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.svg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
How come no one has mentioned this?
If one person allows you to reach the pyramid's apex then that one should take precedence.

I am not saying that you shouldn't take into account the looks, I'm just saying that they shouldn't be a determining factor UNLESS and only UNLESS you are talking about a short term relationship.

Also, I said "MANY beautiful girls tend to be [relatively] dumb" you broke my argument and stated I said ALL. I am not a misogynist that loathes beautiful looking women, alas, most of which I've met, were REALLY BORING, shallow and honestly I would rather talk about something MEANINGFUL with a 6 or a 7, rather than talking about a 10's shoes.

That said, there are many fives, sixes and sevens that are equally dim-witted.

On a personal preference: If I met a 10 with great traits, trust me I wouldn't complain at all, but if an 8 had even better psychological/intellectual/ideological characteristics, well screw the 10.

MissFrank12 07-06-2011 09:24 PM

It is about 50/50 for me.

Fr3sh 07-07-2011 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nameless (Post 870938)
File:Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.svg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
How come no one has mentioned this?
If one person allows you to reach the pyramid's apex then that one should take precedence.

I am not saying that you shouldn't take into account the looks, I'm just saying that they shouldn't be a determining factor UNLESS and only UNLESS you are talking about a short term relationship.

Also, I said "MANY beautiful girls tend to be [relatively] dumb" you broke my argument and stated I said ALL. I am not a misogynist that loathes beautiful looking women, alas, most of which I've met, were REALLY BORING, shallow and honestly I would rather talk about something MEANINGFUL with a 6 or a 7, rather than talking about a 10's shoes.

That said, there are many fives, sixes and sevens that are equally dim-witted.

On a personal preference: If I met a 10 with great traits, trust me I wouldn't complain at all, but if an 8 had even better psychological/intellectual/ideological characteristics, well screw the 10.

I agree with you on mostly everything you've said. No point of going after eye-candy that won't engage in a decent convo...But the only thing I really disagree with you is the "grading system" I don't like it when dudes give out grades to chicks a 1-10...it pretty shallow imo.

Nameless 07-07-2011 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr3sh (Post 871030)
I agree with you on mostly everything you've said. No point of going after eye-candy that won't engage in a decent convo...But the only thing I really disagree with you is the "grading system" I don't like it when dudes give out grades to chicks a 1-10...it pretty shallow imo.

That was mostly a reply to Wingstodiscovery. In honestly don't take that into account (not too much at least, to put a personal example, not long ago a (so called by them) '7' was driving me crazy and there was nothing capable of stopping my obsession).


Also, why don't we stop using reductio ad ridiculum (which you can blame me of using, although I said, it was something happening many times and obviously there are exceptions for everything).

Maxful 07-08-2011 11:00 AM

Both. I find hardworking women extremely attractive. But I choose to be 結婚できない男の人 for some very personal reasons.


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