2 of my students, 2 very beautiful university girls, say that until they get married they only want the most handsome guys they can get their hands on, and that once they do get married, looks have little to no importance to them, and then it becomes wealth, kindness etc that becomes top priority,.. I think that sums up how most reasonable people think

i'm not saying that personality doesn't matter, but i won't make excuses for what i said because i still stand by it, and, sadly, i'm fairly certain that what i said is representative of how the younger generation thinks about attraction.
there's definite truth ro what you said, though: looks are fleeting, and that'll be the price the shallow folks pay down the road.

unless they're rich. then they can just trade up.

Ah, finally in agreement. And yes, there is a definite shift with age. The younger and less experienced a person is, the more they will rely on looks and toys (material signs of money). Guess that is how we learn about getting burned by bad choices.

Im always getting attracted in the persons personality. I dont care what he look like.:)

Well i say both, and im sure people saying that they only look at the personality its totally FAKE cause im sure you would go out with this girl :D
Sry its a link but im to lazy :p
http://www.elperroflaco.com/photos/2.../001_small.jpg

File:Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.svg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
How come no one has mentioned this?
If one person allows you to reach the pyramid's apex then that one should take precedence.

I am not saying that you shouldn't take into account the looks, I'm just saying that they shouldn't be a determining factor UNLESS and only UNLESS you are talking about a short term relationship.

Also, I said "MANY beautiful girls tend to be [relatively] dumb" you broke my argument and stated I said ALL. I am not a misogynist that loathes beautiful looking women, alas, most of which I've met, were REALLY BORING, shallow and honestly I would rather talk about something MEANINGFUL with a 6 or a 7, rather than talking about a 10's shoes.

That said, there are many fives, sixes and sevens that are equally dim-witted.

On a personal preference: If I met a 10 with great traits, trust me I wouldn't complain at all, but if an 8 had even better psychological/intellectual/ideological characteristics, well screw the 10.

It is about 50/50 for me.

I agree with you on mostly everything you've said. No point of going after eye-candy that won't engage in a decent convo...But the only thing I really disagree with you is the "grading system" I don't like it when dudes give out grades to chicks a 1-10...it pretty shallow imo.

That was mostly a reply to Wingstodiscovery. In honestly don't take that into account (not too much at least, to put a personal example, not long ago a (so called by them) '7' was driving me crazy and there was nothing capable of stopping my obsession).


Also, why don't we stop using reductio ad ridiculum (which you can blame me of using, although I said, it was something happening many times and obviously there are exceptions for everything).

Both. I find hardworking women extremely attractive. But I choose to be 結婚できない男の人 for some very personal reasons.

No no...don't worry about it bro. Maybe I wasn't clear on what I said earlier...and it wasn't specifically directed to you either. But what did say is that I mostly agreed with you on everything and the only thing I don't really approve of is the way most dudes (including myself sometimes) "rate" women 1-10.

There are a lot of great girls out there who are fun, nice, and cute but that doesn't mean I want to date them.

What am I saying? I'm saying connection.

I'm sure we all know a few people who are great looking with great personalities that we just don't "connect" with on that relationship level.

It's rarer to find that "connection". Especially for us nerds! I want to date a nerd girl but they are just sooo elitist...I might just settle for a cheerleader.

For me it would be personality, always. Not that I don't care about looks, but mostly I don't even feel comfortable in the presence of a very beautiful girl.

Edit:
For the record, there ARE exeptions ofcourse. And with 'not comfortable' I mean 'shy'. And I don't like that. :)

I know what you're thinking.. Yes, I am inexperienced, but that's because I never wanted a girlfriend in the first place. Maybe sometime.. but anyway, I'll be alright. :vsign:

A good look attracts attention, but personality is essential...
If the girl is very narcissist and boring, I go to home even if she is very beautiful ;P

I prefer looks but I'm trying to get over being so shallow. My ex-husband is a model and my other ex (baby's dad) is a personal trainer. However, being a single mom, I have myself and my son to look out for. So I'm looking for someone who will treat both me and my son well. Also, looks haven't worked out for me the last two times, so I think it's time to try something different........LOL.

I'm not going to lie~ looks is what attracts me first in a guy. Then personality is what really shines through. If I had a "choice" between an average looking guy with great personality VS a hot looking guy with bad personality, I'd go for the first~ but as you know, personality isn't as black and white as that.

I would be a hypocrite if I don't say I don't get attracted to good looks. I do but it does not mean that I want to be with him immediately.

So I guess it is both for me. It starts with the looks then personality.

But there are times that I get attracted to the personality first rather than the looks, so I guess either way too.

66% personality
33% money
1% looks
:mtongue:

I've dated people who were considered 'hideous' (as my friends put it) but mainly due to personality. If we click in a special way then I'll definitely give it a chance. I've also dated people based on looks alone, and they ended very fast. It was almost like competing on who was better looking at the next event we went to. Pretty terrible. This time I went with someone who had the same interests as me (Japan, anime, video games, manga, comics, Magic...nerd/geek basically haha), has a great personality, and was pretty cute. This combination seems to be the most beneficial: looks, personality, common values, traits, and interests.

I'm not going to lie but I think for me it's the attractiveness of a woman (always the eyes too) that reels me in but the personality that makes me stay. (maybe a bit obvious, but wth :-) )

You can only get so far with looks only.

Let's be honest here, most of you are saying personality because you don't want to seem like a douchebag.

But, the answer is that you'd probably GO for looks. (don't matter if you chat with them once or date them for a number of years) you would still prefer a girl/guy that looked relatively disease free and reasonably handsome.

I'm shallow. I'd go for looks.

Everyone goes for looks initially unless a friendship overtime turns into a relationship of some sort.

Caveat: When I say looks it can be that raw lust-inducing physicality of the person or their non-verbals (which 60% of communication is by the way - non-verbal) which attract you to them (confident demeanor, laid back-demeanor, extremely masculine/extremely feminine, etc.)

In the end though, connection is the most important which include both personality and looks and also other things not talked about such as: career or lack of one, morals or lack there of, drug addiction or lack there of, etc.

Lets face it, you can have a great personality and look great but if you do drugs and they don't, are a christian and they're a muslim, live with mom and dad and ride the bus and they have a career and roll in a mercedes, etc -- you're going to have some major obstacles to overcome in making that relationship work because...lack of connection.

Y helo thar wingstodiscovery.

I already answered to this same premise.

This. I ruv u Yins, and yew know it<3

All. Why settle for less?

Personality is a wise move. Looks is a careless move. Simple as that :)
Personality is a long term. Looks is a short term.

Both. If it's just a pure sexual relationship, looks are 95% (personality only matters so they don't try to say it was rape even though it was consensual, they don't take money, don't think it was more than what it was, and know what they're getting into). In a steady relationship, looks are important since there should be some physical attraction, but personality is more important. I don't blame girls for not dating me since I'm short, black, and ugly, just the same way I would never date a big fat girl. Hypothetically speaking though, a woman wouldn't have to be a smoking-hot ten; I just prefer dating decent-looking girls (7's) if I had access to them.

im not gonna lie, its teh looks that first attracts me to someone, but then when i get to know them if tehy are nasty it puts me off them right away!