Keep in mind the divorce rate in Japan is much lower than in the US and UK. Adultery is more tolerated in Japan than in the US, so it surprises me a little to hear a lot of divorces take place due to adultery.

Adultery is tolerated? How so? Do they just ignore it and not talk about it an such, or are they open about it?

I said "more tolerated."

I think it depends on the situation, but if the husband is bringing home the bacon, then the wife is more fine with him employing a professional now and again or even having a sweetie on the side.

I had a friend with a wife and kids, but he had a girlfriend on the side. The girlfriend knew about the wife and I am pretty sure the wife knew about the girlfriend.

I don't think the majority of guys who visit massage parlors are single.

Ah, I see. In a way, I find that quite odd, but in another way I feel like it could be... more healthy? I'm not sure.

i am well aware of "no religion" rule here. and i haven't broken it. i simply stated the fact that in given situation great deal of STD is conveyed via unprotected sex and that the stance church has taken has its role in it.
as far as i know i haven't done anything more that those who claimed not to sleep before marriage - just like them i brought religion up without insulting the religion itself or anyone else for that matter. unless all forms of mention are banned then equally guilty would be people who simply state that they do this and that because of their beliefs.
and in no way i am wrong about it's part in it so i don't think that warn is really in place.

who is religion bashing when because of certain religions--in other words

Because of disallowing contraception-- more babies are born--many with AIDS.


Why pretend it does not happen-- it is a FACT.

So you mean they follow the one rule about the contraception, but don't follow any other rule (like sleeping around, waiting till married, only with wife/husband)? Thats just nonsense. One rule is good, the others are not? Its like youre saying "Im stopping at the STOP sign, but don't care about traffic lights, police mans signs or any other driving rule".

Stop waiving the curch as the cause of people doing what they do.
Religion is just another reason in almost any STD "epidemy", but don't get it to such a high rank between them, it really isn't that huge as you imply it is evanny.

Number one rank is , in my opinion, sleeping around randomly and just for the fun of the moment (when you have free time, no TV or any other means of fun, what do they do?).
Number two, medical instruments reuse, without proper hygiene.

Ugh, I almost forgot about the "sex divorce", they (those who cheat) will always look for a better even if they have a good sexual relation with its partner, because they will be tempted to look if "the grass is greener on the other side".

Don't get me wrong! In Southern CA it seemed like the majority of people got divorced (I would not be surprised if the rate is over 50%). I'd say it's a fraction of that here. If I were to guess I'd say 5-10%.

I've heard people be almost frank and open about their extra-relationships. And dogsbody70, I think that the places 'salary-men go after work' are like snacks. Just a place to hang out with scantily clad women who'll pour your drinks and talk to you and sing karaoke with you and stuff like that. That culture seems to be completely accepted. Believe it or not, but salary women will get invited to those places as well. As far as the 'next level' of that goes, I'm really not familiar with it other than what I've heard. I've talked to a couple of guys who really see no problem with it. Of course I haven't heard the other side of that so who knows.

I honestly think the increasing divorce rate has to do with what I was talking about before-- past relationships were kind of 'set-up' in a way. It's more like two families got married than just two people. So there's the whole aspect of it that has to do with land and a house and all that jazz. So divorce was basically out of the question. Now-a-days, you see more and more people kind of selling off their land to convenience stores, pachinkos, or wherever. Some of those people move into a 'tract' house (like a neighborhood). People who aren't the oldest son/daughter will also do that a lot I feel. This takes away the whole 'two families getting married' concept. It also lessens the liklihood that grandparents will be living with their children/grandchildren. This situation certainly allows more 'freedom' in terms of choosing a partner. I think it also allows more 'freedom' in divorce as well. Maybe in the past it was considered trivial to get a divorce over a 'fling'. Now days there doesn't seem to be as much attached to the marriage, so getting divorced over a fling would be considered more economical. Also you used to have people basically decide your relationship... now you get to 'follow your heart' in a sense. Unfortunately a lot of people mistake their heart for other organs. Likewise, a lot of people might simply just second guess themselves (and decide they made a mistake on their first marriage). I've heard of stuff like that before too... maybe one person feels they should've married someone else (specific or otherwise) and kind of has a fling because of that... I think situations like that often get found out and end up in divorce as well.

I'm being irresponsible for not checking my 'I thinks' and all that. I know Japan does a survey every few years. I believe one just happened recently so it will be interesting to check out the newest hard data on this stuff.

So it would be safe to assume that most marriages in Japan are centered around financial investment (some kind of materialistic interdependence between couples) than it is about the traditional western views of what a relationship should be (love and all that good stuff)?