That is because Jessica Alba is not attractive.

You nuts? :eek:

If you changed 'guys' with 'girls' in that paragraph it would explain my experiences and the things I've seen lol
Honestly it goes both ways, especially in Japan you get these butt-ugly foreign guys with the most super-model awesome J-chicks ><
I just say to myself that those chicks have no idea what they really could get.

I think it's an issue where most people take the first thing that comes their way and have a distorted view of themselves as they compare themselves to tv stars.

I think.. since (let's say) Japanese girls don't see that many white guys in Japan every day, to them a general looking white guy is just hot. White guys have VERY different features from Japanese guys, and I think that that's why the girls like them - even tho they look like crap. You see the same tendency with hot Asian girls coming to Denmark to marry old, saggy 50-year old men.

Ah man.. you needa get your eyes checked, bro.

I think you're completely right about that.
Sometimes I slip and think it might be because they love the person within, but then reality checks in and I realize it's just a matter of disillusion, inwards or outwards lol.

I think just because there aren't a lot of white guys in Japan doesn't necessarily make them "just hot".

For men attraction is more simple. I know Japanese women that were told at a young age to avoid foreigners or avoid black man as potential partners. It's like telling a boy to avoid weed and alcohol. There will be those that are excited by forbidden fruit.

Foreign men can also represent the potential to get out of Japan, which for a certain faction of women is an attractive proposition.

A lot of the people that are around me obviously fall into that category as I am a foreigner, but that faction does seem pretty large to me.

The forbidden fruit thing could also be seen as an exotic thing, like "omg your nipples are pink that's so weird, can I touch?" kind of thing

Wait. Asian do not have pink nipples?

LOL, from all the posts here that is what catches you're eye? :mtongue:

some women do, but it's very rare... men don't at all

I didn't know either until I came here and shocked the ladies haha

Dude, that is one thing you could've learnd from porn ;)

The color of one's nipples go with the rest of the skin color. Like, people with natural tanned skin might have fair brownish nipples, while super pale people might have them slightly pink. That's why the Japanese, who don't have the Caucasian type of fair skin, don't get pink nipples.

YaY! We're discussing nipples! We are so banned...

Quote of the week.

LOL Awesome I made it into the Suki's-Weekly-Quotes-Hall-of-Fame!

(ps, white text is awesome)

its happened to me and ive seen it go down ALOT - i remember sitting in the common room in uni and some girl started crying randomly - her bf had cheated on her and she was crying that it would be impossible for to find a hot guy like him coz good looking guys dont go after pretty girls, i think thats the first proper time i realised it wasnt just a problem i noticed. ive had alot of people tell me im a pretty attractive girl (im not bragging here seriously this is what people say) and ive never had a problem getting a mans attention even if its just walking past them for a split second (and turning heads) but when it comes to getting asked out - its like never - and alot of people ive told are surprised by it - so thats why i was wondering whether its a general problem.
most of the time men dont know my personality - coz i dont always talk infront of guys (that they would get put off by that alone) - so was just wondering why, coz alot of men say im quite intimidating but alot of them also say u shud get married to a rich man u could get one easily, but how am i supposed to get one if i scare the crap out of them before ive even opened my mouth??!
ive had men literally start quiviering slightly when talking to me (you can hear the nervousnes in their voice) so i was just wondering why the hell!!
(btw i dont want everyone to think im an arrogant B but im just sharing my experiences here) :o

btw i know this is really random but does anyone know if takeshi kaneshiro is married? he is hotness and a half! ive heard he was married to some japanese women and their trying for a baby but it just a rumour so far...thanks

I think you're right that it's a common issue.

Perhaps it's because a lot of good looking guys, as with good looking girls, often have insecurity issues, and aren't aware of where they stand or what they could really get.

Even if a girl knows she's hot the guy she might like probably doesn't feel he deserves her. Despite the growing strength of women in the world, most still don't feel comfortable asking a guy out, so the confident guy will have a better chance than the confident woman at getting what he wants.

Ideas?

The confident guy will always have a good shot at getting what he wants. Doesn't matter if he is "hot" or not.

Good point, that's completely true, he may have to be a little more persistent but yeah I agree :)

If a man is self-confident, generally they come to him.

No dude, I like boys who grossly underestimate their looks, I mean like they're gorgeous but they think they're hideous and stupid-- zero self-confidence so they will never leave me durhuuuurrr :D

But seriously, I can't stand super confident men. I don't care how good looking he is, if I discover he's an arrogant douche I LITERALLY stop being sexually attracted to him D: Whereas, a guy who I orginally found ugly can become better looking if I find his personality to be modest and sweet ;)

Though, sexy-confident CAN be pulled off, but Alex Kapranos is the only person capable of such a feat :eek:

Arrogance and self-confidence are two different things.

Men who are gorgeous can have two left feet, and still get girls. That's not what I am talking about.

I am talking about men who are not traditionally handsome, but have an air of confidence. Don't tell me you have never seen a rather plain or pudgy dude with a drop-dead beautiful gal. You don't see the opposite as often.

Actually, I see pudgy ugly girls with cute skinny boys all the time.... Being serious here, I counted them when I went to Six Flags while I waited in line, it was freaking CRAZY. Not to mention I live next to the grossest group of Southern Belles, I mean like the epitome of redneck. They're as wide as they are tall, many of them have several kids and yet there's guys coming by the droves to see them-- some of whom are actually thin and attractive! (granted they're still dumbfuck redneck boys who will soon ~*BLOSSOM*~ into "bubbas" but that's not my point)

I guess I notice cute guys wtih ugly girls more because I'm a girl (so I'm not looking for hot chicks then notice their butt-ugly boyfriends) and vice-versa for you. I've noticed this phenomenon before when my dad commented on all the 'hot chicks with bubba boyfriends' then I told "No man, it's the other way around." Thus, we like to point them out when at Wal-Mart and stuff :D Buuuut I'm from Alabama, and the chicks here are hideous so I suppose I ain't saying much...

Totally. Confidence is the quality I value the most in men.

I know many not-so-good-looking guys who have never had trouble getting a girl and it had to do with that air of confidence MMM talks about.

A little arrogance can be good. I like cynic, cold and mindful... serial killer, anyone?

Ain't you a lucky one! :cool:

I conclude that:

It depends on the chick, and how she feels that day.

Yeah?

How about confident chicks? (for the men) does that do anything for you? (for the women) What do you think of them?

I like em, assuming they have something to be confident about aside from the confidence it self lol

I guess they get respect without having to prove they're worthy of it. That's why I think there's a very thin line separating confidence from cocky arrogance. No wonder why some people don't like me much :cool: ;)

do they think they're worthy of it themselves though ;)

I grew up on a street where I was the only boy around. It was fun, I had about 30 girl friends (not gf kind) with which my teenage years passed playing, hanging out and so on. Now after many of them are already married, I found out from them that they liked me very much. Even the stunning beauty, neighbor next door, Alice (such a cliche isn't it?) told me that, one year after getting married.


Question of the day:

Why didn't they just say something then, but get the confidence to tell me that now, after getting married?

It was an intimidation by the "group thinking"?




LE: Ugh, i guess it was better to ask this in the Ask the girls thread.

They don't care. Thay just pull that attitude naturally, so people think they are hardcore and don't mess with them. That alone is worthy of some respect, like they don't need to rely on anyone in order to feel confident.

Maybe they think it's ok to say it now cause supposedly you've both gotten over it so there'll be no further consequences.

hmm if they liked you im guessing they prob wouldnt have told u since women hardly ever tell men they like them first (its like an unwritten rule) u never ask the guy out first, he shud ALWAYS ask you - coz its worse getting shot down as a girl, IMO thats prob what stopped her, and now shes married i think shes more ok with telling u coz she knows it wont go anywhere and she cant get shot down

thats my take on it

Ok, I got it now, well kinda. Thank you for you're responses.

Ugh, why do women suck so fucking bad? Seriously, that's a retarded rule. And " its worse getting shot down as a girl", have you recently sprouted a penis and been shot down as a man? Then how the hell would you know? It's a horrible experience for a guy to get shot down-- It's just that most women are cowardly sacks of shit who expect and merely wait men to do everything for them :mad:

Yesterday was my parents' 29th anniversary! And it wouldn't have happened if my mother hadn't been brave and walked straight up to my dad and told 'im he was cute :D And I was the one to ask my current boyfriend out. Guys LIKE to be asked out, it takes the pressure of them. My boyfriend is way too shy, I knew he liked me (he follow me around like a puppy dog, always tried to sit next to me, stuff like that which is so cute :D ) but I knew he was never going to work up the courage to ask me out so I asked him. He had this glowy look of relief and happiness about him when I asked :rheart: So ladies, GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS, stop being whiny cowards. I've been shot down before, it sucks ass (regardless of gender!) but I got over it. It pays to be brave ;)

I've never been 'shot down', lol. But I'd probably agree that it sucks regardless of gender if I'd tried it..

That being said - please don't use such harsh words on here. Nobody put down a 'rule' as to how girls or guys should act. These are all personal preferences. You need to take a chill-pill hunnie. Being rude only breeds rude replies and then it's gonna go down into a bad spiral. You can't just generally say that all girls are 'whiny cowards' (or worse) - cause obviously.. you don't know all girls.

Stressed much? Cause you surely sound so, geez.

Anyway, do people over a certain age actually ask someone out? I mean, that's now how it works. It's okay when you're like 15 and you fancy some guy in class to go up to him and tell him that you like him very much and that you'd like for him to be your boyfriend, but as a grown-up individual you don't have to go through that. It's much more simple to get someone's attention. You don't have to actually ask. It's not that hard to make a guy realize you're into him. You grow enough courage to approach him and start a conversation with him, and then you go all the way from there. If he gets it you'll notice cause he'll show interest, and if he doesn't then you make it obvious, but no questions asked.

I'm not actually mad :P I just like to talk like I am, but I guess you can't tell I'm joking since the nuance doesn't get carried through the internet (despite my use of smiley emoticons!) :D I appreciate Lewis Black's sense of angry humor. But then again, people might think I'm seriously angry so I'm sorry if you read it that way.

I'm just moderately amused and irritated (like Ronin) by this whole "I'm so gorgeous no man will approach me *soooob*" thing aannnnd I've seen guys get shot down (seeing my baby brother get shot down and cry for 2 days was particularly painful :( He was 14 and the girl was 16 so I knew it was gonna happen but it was still AWFUL. Therefore, this notion of 'guys are confident and don't have feelings' annoys me.) My dad's best friend in the early 1980's killed himself because he was rejected. So despite my harsh words, the point I'm trying to make is don't wait around for the guy because you're 'supposed to'-- because "he should ALWAYS ask you" then later lament about how another less-pretty girl got the guy you wanted. That's stupid and cowardly IMO.

And I didn't say all girls are like that. I said "most" which as far as I can see is true. :mtongue:

Naahhhhh~ I went to an all-girls school, let me tell you, this is ~totally~ group-mentality. Think about it, you have a large group of girls, presumably mostly friends with each other, and one guy who is mutually friends with all of them too. As the OP said, more than one person had feelings for him. The girls probably all knew this, but by unspoken agreement decided to not take it as an option because excepting a rare, open and (unusually magnanimous) election of a girl who could 'be the one ask you out', it would only create divisions and heartbreak. And even if a girl was elected, and you broke up later? Dissention in the ranks and a free-for-all.

Happened in my year group- five of my friends, of whom two crushed on the same guy. Rather than ruin A) their friendship with each other, b) upset their friendship with the other group members by making them pick a side to support and C) the friendship with the guy, they simply let it go.

Sorry Protheus, that's the downside of being the only guy in a group of girls. Popular myth is you become head of a harem. More likely you wind up single. On the plus side, you probably managed to keep more friends this way and understand women better by having had many as friends, which is fairly valued. And you were never single because you were a potato-faced loser either, but just in the wrong circumstance. Take heart!

EDIT: then again you can kick yourself all you like for not just ~asking~ one of them yourself. That would have solved the problem!

You're what Japanese people call a "grass eater" for not asking one of them out...

I agree that men should be the first to ask a woman out, it's like chivalry 101, come on! :P

lol.. I don't agree.

If a woman likes someone and sits around waiting to be asked then that's a bad strategy.

I think it's better to just go for it whether you're a guy or a girl.

As for Chivalry.. well that's just bullshit. I mean I believe in being nice to people. But if it's OK for women to expect certain things from men... well we should expect certain things in return. In the past that used to be 2-3 kids, a warm dinner every night, and sex on tap.

I like your way of thinking, especially the last part. Any argument with sex going it's way I gotta side with :P

Honestly though, if a woman is interested in me, and I'm too thick to realize it, I'd rather she throw me a nice sign so I can then act on it and appear to be the initiator ><

thanks

but its not that all women are cowards and therefore refuse to approach men, its just a little too forward IMO (call me old fashioned or watever) but not all men like a women to make the first move, and u can never honestly judge whether a guy is really into u or not even if he does follow u around like a lost puppy dog - that happened to me before and turns out he was going out with his GF for 6 yers at the time he was following me around too, so depends on the situation - but yeh i couldnt ever just approach a man and ask him out and its not coz im scared just coz its looks a bit strange IMO - most women dont generally anyway - hardly seen it b4

Haha.. fair enough.

My problem with that approach is that what I used to interpret as a nice sign was just a woman being friendly.

But yeah... there's no misinterpreting a stroke of the crotch or the inner thigh if that's what you mean lol

LOL I was thinking a tad more subtle, but you make a good point that a lot of women (and men) have a difficult time separating flirting with friendly behaviour ... I've done it too by accident ><

Although in that time I was already talking (but as a very close friend, nothing more yet) to the future girlfriend and wasn't really on a lookout (but still not tied down), the chances were very high I would have accepted the feelings if one of them got the guts to say it.
In a kind of something close to a conclusion, I missed-, they missed-, we missed-, because of lack of a first step.

I'm not upset, I made the best choice to hang on to my future gf, but I was surprised about not even hinting that feeling from 6 of my friends (these are the ones that told me).


PS: It was fun most of the time growing up around them, but being the only boy in a group of girls on my street meant I had to be able to run pretty fast. I mean, when 30 girls get mad and the only "target" is me :eek: ....ouch.