[chiuchimu]

@MMM

This is my first post: The original intent is clear. I shall high light key points. I ended up going on a wild goose chase trying to answer your questions. If my intended meaning got lost or got misinterpreted in this exchange, I'll take the blame for not being more concise with my words.

Originally Posted by chiuchimu

I'm not an American living in Japan - I'm Japanese living in America, but I've seen enough of the former to say the answer depends on the person.

Some Americans are going to have a great time while some are going to regret their stay.

Knowing both cultures pretty well, My word of advice to an American going to Japan is:
1) Learn as much as possible about manners and etiquette. Manners are important in Japan and are different from U.S.

2) Learn to read the atmosphere and brush up on your social graces. It's impossible to read and remember every dos and don'ts from a book, so good people skills helps smooth things over.

3) Japan is a group oriented country rather than an individual oriented country. Make good presentable Japanese friends, specially of the same sex as yourself. From everything to getting a job or finding an apartment, not only can they help you by word of mouth, but they give you credibility.

These three things should help you the most into integrating into Japanese society and start opening up doors for you.

Final not: If your going to Japan for the girls, then leave the average girl alone. you'll just add to the bad foreigner gossip and hardly score anyway. The Japanese girls that want foreign guys go out of there way to seek them out; military bars, sports bars etc... where foreign guys hang out, that's' where they go. The ones I saw at the Nagasaki Navel base bar were very pretty but they didn't want to have anything to do with me since I'm Japanese.

Bold1Depends on the person.
Everyone's different, no one tip will work for all.

Bold2:Some Americans are going to have a great time while some are going to regret their stay.
This is a true statement. It will depend on what you do, how you interpret and react to things as well as how people interpret you and treat you and react to you.

Bold3:My word of advice.
This is my opinion. not fact. These were tips to help the newbie do will in Japan. No one has to follow any of my advice. you don't even have to agree with my tips.

Bold4:These three things should help you the most into integrating into Japanese society and start opening up doors for you.
Here I am recapping that this is advice to help you in Japan.

Then the thread went all over the place. but i stand by the core of what I meant.

I am saying if you try and adopt Japanese styles you may get the opposite result. I never changed my fashion to "fit in" and I fit in just fine. If cutting my hair like other Japanese men or wearing a certain type of clothes to "fit in" is what someone needs to be friends with me, then I don't want to be friends with them. I made plenty of friends in Japan (many of which I am still friends with 15+ years later) and they like me for me, not for what country my clothes are from.

If it works for you fine. People are different.

One point though: There is a huge and varied types of hair styles and fashions in Japan -Id say the fashions in Japan ranges from everything America and Europe have and much more. The Japanese industry is huge including lots of import labels too. You make it sound like people don't have choices in Japan. But sure, if nothing is to your taste in Japanese clothing or it takes away from your identity, you can always buy online from America and have it shipped to Japan. I live in the U.S. and as much as I like some Japanese fashion items, I buy all my stuff at the local mall. I don't have this great fashion need to import my clothes from Japan.