[bb020708]

"はじめに、旅かんをよやくしておかなくちゃいけませ� �"
--ちゃいけません makes it sound informal and the entire essay itself sounds pretty formal so i would change that to "旅かんをよやくしておかなければいけません"

"スタジオジブリに行きます。
I would change this to "スタジオジブリに行きたいです" since in your original sentence, it literally translates to you are going to Studio Ghibli but in your other sentences, you use --行こうと思っています which means you want to go but haven't solidified your plans.

"日本人友 だちがたくさんできるつもりです。"
This itself doesn't really make sense at first glance. Do you mean "I plan on making Japanese friends"? If so, I would change it to "日本人友だちをたくさんつくるつもりです."

Other than that, the rest is pretty much grammatically correct. I would just delete the spaces between the characters like "一しゅう間いるつもりです。" instead of "一し ゅう間いるつもりです。" etc.