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skywok (Offline)
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Well said MMM - 02-16-2011, 10:45 AM

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Originally Posted by MMM View Post
Since when did people get this idea that Japan can be your own personal secret Wonderland where you are the only foreigner any Japanese people will see or meet or ever talk to? This isn't pre-Meiji era anymore. There are thousands and thousands of foreigners living in Japan... especially in Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, Nagoya and other major metropolises. It's 2011... what in the world do you expect?

I am not going to apologize when I say I find this attitude incredibly immature and short-sighted.

I enjoy meeting other non-Japanese in Japan because oftentimes we are like two random ships in the dark with very different stories and lives... in other words people I would never have the chance to meet back at home, even if it is just one time over a drink after dinner.
Hear, hear! You know it's easy to get a feel for someone based on first impressions. Don't you go through weeks in Australia where you just get one person after another asking directions (it must be a vibe thing) And then you go for weeks when there are no directions requested. Whatever the filter, who cares.

I've had foreign and local lifesavers. Sometimes the interaction is very brief, but it is still appreciated. For someone who isn't fluent in Japanese, the sight of a gaijin can be welcome. There are other times where the behaviour is embarrassing. Not everyone is observant enough to assimilate (at least to a basic extent). Though eventually, Japan seems to rub off on people.

People is people. Whether they nod, smile or wink at each other, who cares? (Okay, so sometimes winking is a little creepy) No one knows anyone else's story at a glance, but you get a feel for whether you might have something in common. No one is marrying anyone, not bound in eternal friendship and certainly - as far as I know - there is no stealing of souls involved in human courteous acknowledgement (if the moment presents itself).

Honestly, I have had the most heart wrenching experiences in Japan, where the simplest of assistance has made me realise what being human is, more than anywhere else on earth. This from a place where I always thought "the nail that sticks out must be hammered in" What better place to learn how to be humble than Japan?

It's surely more about how people carry themselves, and how well founded they are in who they are. Those with a solid sense of self surely see people as people that little bit more.

Last edited by skywok : 02-16-2011 at 10:59 AM.
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02-16-2011, 10:49 AM

I have to say that I agree with the general feel of what Steven is saying.

I don`t really associate with foreigners in Japan. I have one real "foreign" friend, associate regularly with one other... And know a handful but have no real relationships with them. I am a member of a couple foreign wife associations, but that is all passive and requires no real activity on my part. Direct contact with me is usually initiated when somebody needs something translated, or they need someone to go along with them to get an apartment, loan, etc etc. I think it would be a HUGE stretch to call any of those friendships, especially as I charge for the service.

I see no reason to be friends with someone JUST because we both weren`t born in this country. It`s silly, and reeks of elitism. We should be friends because we are "different"! Umm... No thank you. I wouldn`t have associated with you in *insert other country name*, why should I do so here? I think that is what it really comes down to.

It seems to me that to those who seek out other foreigners, not doing the same is "avoiding" other foreigners.

In my opinion, it`s no different than any other friend-making scenario. Those with something in common tend to end up in the same place. For me, simply being "not-Japanese" is not what I would consider something "in common" enough to start a friendship. And in my experience so far, those who do seek out friendships based on that one point are generally not the type of people I would have enough in common with to want to go out of my way to befriend.
There is generally something else driving that seeking, and it has yet to be something I have in common with them. For example - not speaking Japanese, not liking Japan, being an English teacher, wanting to pick up girls, etc.

I`m not so desperate for friendship that I would make an exception just because we`re both not Japanese.
If me having other options because I DO speak the language, do live here permanently, etc, would be considered "elitism" - then toss me in with the "elite". Seriously.

I don`t really give a crap about other foreigners being here. I don`t cringe or direct disgust in their direction should I run into any. I don`t care at all unless they`re doing something I don`t want to be associated with.
None of that is any different to how I feel about anyone I run into. If anything, I am probably one of the most balanced and fair people around when it comes to how I treat / respond to other foreigners. No differently than anyone else.
If not getting a special magical nod or not seeing me down at the local gaijin-bar hangout is me rejecting other foreigners, or having some weird possessiveness of Japan... Wow. Just more justification for not going out of my way to contact them. Obviously they`re not someone I want to waste my precious time on a friendship with.


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02-16-2011, 12:11 PM

Doesn't bother me either, but curiousity will usually take over. If they are a tourist/there for a limited time, fine. Let them get on with it. If they are living and working there, perhaps its a chance to make a non-Japanese friend, not that most people want that. I'd rather have more Japanese friends tbh. At least, your more likely to see the culture with people brought up there, and probably enjoy it much better. I've seen days where I wander about in a Glasgow Celtic football shirt, and I've seen people say "Good choice. You know the team to support" but I've also had (for Rangers fans mainly) negative comments thrown at me. Before I continue, I'd like to state that I ignore the comments, and they don't bother me. Most of the time its friendly banter. But surely, the same would be true of seeing another non-Japanese in Japan, the tendancy to comminicate and show appreciation for somebody the same (i.e.non-Japanese)


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dogsbody70 (Offline)
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02-16-2011, 01:14 PM

i love to see strangers, we get masses of foreign students in brighton i think one reason my japanese friend enjoys college is because of the international students that she meets there.

i will always say hi to anyone i meet in my own smallish town. a friendly smile can always light up some ones day.

Last edited by dogsbody70 : 02-16-2011 at 01:18 PM.
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Tturtle (Offline)
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02-16-2011, 05:49 PM

When I was in Japan for my 3 weeks or so I was approached by foreigners or gaijins as well as Japanese people. I was also nodded at by several people and I just nodded back. But I'm used to the nod. I'm black and we do that a lot. One day in particular I was approached by a few dreadlocked men who I assumed were Jamaican. They asked me if everything was ok and if I needed any help while I was walking with my tour guide! I have been told that I have a very approachable look though. It's my big eyes!


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02-17-2011, 02:00 AM

I just didn't like to see the gaijin who acted like jerks since they were far from home. Most were really nice and I met people from places I might never have since we were all in the same boat in Japan.


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Kamalayka (Offline)
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02-18-2011, 04:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sitron View Post
When you're in Japan or on Japanese websites (message boards, mixi etc) do you get annoyed when you see/meet gaijins (foreigners)? I hate seeing gaijins to be honest. I'm currently on a Japanese dating website and nothing annoys me more than seeing a gaijin female there. Especially if it's a white woman dressed up in cosplay or a kimono (dating sites are not for cosplaying or pretending you're Japanese!).

I know it's selfish but I want to experience Japan, not a washed out Japanese culture with a bunch of gaijins pretending they're Japanese....

Hmm, for starters it's gaijin, not "gaijins." There is no plural form in Japanese, leading me to believe you don't speak Japanese, meaning one thing: YOU'RE gaijin!

Even though I am part Japanese from a biological perspective, culturally I am 100% American. I don't speak a lick of Japanese and know nothing about their culture. That means I'm gaijin as well. (But then again, even if I spoke Japanese fluently and was born and raised there, I'd still be seen as gaijin because I am only 3/8 Jap.)


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Ephemeraldream (Offline)
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02-18-2011, 09:17 AM

So you're asking if I get annoyed seeing someone else basically? No, unless I know them to be annoying. Haters gonna hate. That is all.
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xkmkmlmx (Offline)
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02-19-2011, 04:44 AM

So many posts stating that it isn't that 'you are hating on foreigners, but more that you wouldn't be friends or extend yourself over the simple concept of just both being or living in a foreign land together' are ironic.

You are posting on a centralized subject matter message board to STRANGERS. Some of you with thousands of posts. You extend yourself here, but have some issue with most likely a lot of the same type of people that you might come across in Japan? I don't entirely buy the logic.
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Ryzorian (Offline)
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02-19-2011, 06:48 AM

Eh, personally I post here cause I just like yapping.
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