nda/ndesu and a translation request

[SSJup81]

Hi there. I'm in need of a translation pretty quickly, so thanks in advanced to anyone who can help me with this.

I was working on my Japanese homework, and I, for the life of me, can't figure out how to say, "I lost my voice." I know how I can say, "I couldn't sing"...Watashi wa utauttaindeshita. (I think that's how I'd write it)

*We're using nda and ndesu in class now, so I'm trying to incorporate it*

How would I say "Last week, I was sick and I lost my voice."

Would it be....

Senshu, watashi wa byooki ga dattanda kara hanasu koto ga dekinakattanda.

I personally think this is wrong, though, so any help will be highly appreciated.

[nijiro]

Edit: My translations here aren't 100% correct, check further down... I'll leave them up so that you can see my mistake and understand it too.

n'desu can be used with pretty much anything. I'm sure they'll explain in better in your class than I ever could, but anyway, as for your sentence, since it refers to a condition that was obtained, I would use the verb naru/narimasu, or "become". Basically what you might want to say, literally, is, "(it seems) I became not have voice."
Like:
Senshu watashi wa byooki datta dakara koe inai nattanda.
”Last week I was sick and so I lost my voice　(became voiceless)."

Koe here is "voice".

Or if you want to say, "I became can't talk", say:
...dakara hanasu koto dekinai nattanda.
"...and so I lost my voice (became inable to talk)."

You could also actually say "my voice disappeared", which is:
...dakara koe ga kietanda.
"...and so I lost my voice (my voice disappeared)."

I'm not sure how the Japanese would express a lost voice, but you could use any of these examples and be understood, although I would recommend being a little more formal if it's on your homework. ;P

先週私は病気でしただから話すことができないになった んです。
Senshuu watashi wa byouki deshita dakara hanasu koto ga dekinai ni natta n'desu.

That is how I would say it to be totally proper. (EDIT: I'm sorry if this sounded wrong, what I meant by "being totally proper" was just that I recommend using -masu forms instead of plain forms to be really proper, but you don't have to do it. Don't use this cause it isn't a correct translation!)

Please correct me if it's wrong!

[masaegu]

Originally Posted by nijiro

Senshu watashi wa byooki datta dakara koe inai nattanda.　

Koe here is "voice".

Or if you want to say, "I became can't talk", say:
...hanasu koto dekinai nattanda.

Please! This is all wrong! And you even sound so authoritative....

(Your sig, too, has a few major problems.)

[nijiro]

Originally Posted by masaegu

Please! This is all wrong! And you even sound so authoritative....

(Your sig, too, has a few major problems.)

It says in the bottom of my post, please correct if I'm wrong.
I tried to write in my sig, if I make a mistake, please correct.
Please, don't just tell me I'm wrong, tell me why it's wrong, and tell me the correct way to do it! Otherwise you're not being helpful at all. :/
I don't mean to sound authoritative, just trying to help as much as I can.

[masaegu]

Originally Posted by nijiro

先週私は病気でしただから話すことができないになったんです。
Senshuu watashi wa byouki deshita dakara hanasu koto ga dekinai ni natta n'desu.

That is how I would say it to be totally proper.

Totally proper? It all sounds pretty foreign and improper to the Japanese ear!

[nijiro]

Originally Posted by masaegu

Totally proper? It all sounds pretty foreign and improper to the Japanese ear!

Can you please tell me the proper way to say it instead of just saying it's wrong? :/

[SSJup81]

Yes, please do. I forgot about this thread, but I am curious now as to how it was supposed to have been written or said.

Oh, and the reason it wasn't "formal" because I was practicing using plain form and polite form.

[enyafriend]

Originally Posted by nijiro

It says in the bottom of my post, please correct if I'm wrong.
I tried to write in my sig, if I make a mistake, please correct.
Please, don't just tell me I'm wrong, tell me why it's wrong, and tell me the correct way to do it! Otherwise you're not being helpful at all. :/
I don't mean to sound authoritative, just trying to help as much as I can.

Japanese people, like Masaegu, takes pride in their language and hates it when someone comes along and butchered them. And I can't blame them for feeling that way either. Other than that, he's quite a helpful chap in solving Japanese problems. He's just probably a little under the weather.

I can see that you are a Japanese learner and will help you with your sig here.

ニジロと申します。　どうぞよろしく！
While this is not wrong, the standard polite way of introducing yourself would be ニジロと申します。　よろしくお願いします。

ミスをすれば、訂正しなさい。
しなさい is very wrong here. That would make you very rude and authoritative. Instead of asking for "please correct me", you turned out to be demanding that "you correct me!"　
しなさい is very often used a mother to her kids, or you to someone below you in age and level.
もしミスがあったら、どうぞ訂正してくれませんか。is one way I would say it.

私は、とても上手じゃなくて、こっちにIMしてください juffabeast それから、日本語を一生に話しましょう
The proper way to speak in Japanese is either it is in colloquial or polite, but never mix colloquial words with polite words together in a sentence.
While the rest are polite words, こっち is colloquial here and unsuitable for writing use. 　
一生 に is very wrong here. It means forever, in a lifetime, or for life.
一緒 に is the correct word for together.
日本語を一生に話しましょう
>>Let's speak Japanese for life (forever and ever)
日本語を一緒に話しましょう
一緒に日本語を話しましょう
>>Let's speak Japanese together

とても上手じゃなくて >>> そんなに上手ではなくて
とても is very
そんなに....ない is not very

I hope that clears things up a little.

[Debezo]

In this case, we use "声が出る/出ない(koe ga deru/denai)", "senshuu byouki de koe ga denakatta".
But "hanasu koto ga dekinakatta" is ok. And it's better to just say "byouki de" rahter than "byouki ni natta kara(node)" or "byouki datta kara(node)". The latter are a little verbose.

To nijiro, You are right in naru. It can be "koe ga denaku natta" or "hanasu koto ga dekinaku natta". But inai(iru) is used with animate being, isn't used with voice.

[chryuop]

Originally Posted by enyafriend

Japanese people, like Masaegu, takes pride in their language and hates it when someone comes along and butchered them. And I can't blame them for feeling that way either.

If that's the way they feel, avoid going to a forum where there are people trying to learn Japanese.
I too go to a forum where there is people trying to learn my language (Italian), but I surely don't act as an a$$ because they don't speak my language. I never laugh at them or act superior. They make errors and I help them to correct the errors. I encourage them to speak Italian even if it is gonna be full of errors. I even voulonteered to spend time on MSN talking to them and helping them.
I know in that forum some people will butcher Italian, some will introduce many Spanish words coz they think they sound the same and they are the same...but having pride in my language doesn't mean treat students of my language like poor idiots.

Sorry, but as a student myself, Masaegu has no excuse...above all when he was kindly asked twice to help and both times he acted like a real jerk.