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Need Help translating :) Want to save my relationship! -
01-29-2010, 01:51 AM
To anybody who can help
 First i would like to offer my apologies if this is the wrong location for this post??? But i have been having a hard time finding someone to help me translate...All the Japanese speakers i know are friends or related to my girlfriend? Background: I have been in a international relationship with the Love of my life for the last two years. I meet her during a time when she was working in US as an Au pair from Japan. It was Love at first sight. At least for me, Our relationship has grown ever since. After her being back in japan for over eight month I took one month off of work to go visit her. I had such a great time and was able to finally meet the majority of her family. After the trip i wanted to focus on making sure that her next visit would be as comfortable as possible. We had planed that she would return in a few months time. I was really excited and anxious. I just wasn't paying attention though...I focused to much on the future and really didn't pay enough attention to the now. She recently came to the realization that there are many things which are wrong with the relationship (more so wrong with me than the relationship) and that I have shown disrespect and had inconsiderate/insincere behavior while visiting in Japan. It took me for a surprise  I have come to better see things from her point of view and understand her interpretation of my actions, but I have always had a dedicated mind towards our relationship and have wanted nothing more than to have the opportunity to see our relationship grow into something more. So, now she has decided that she will not be returning to the US and that our relationship really does not have a future.  Are you kidding me...I mean really? She doesn't feel that people can change and that she is just setting herself up for disappointment. So, lets just say that we are going through a rough patch, but i am not ready to give up on us. Call it differences of culture or differences of opinions, but I really feel it is something that we can work through  Sorry for the long background, but I thought it might help with the translation  Please Help:  We have been communicating via email and she sent me part of her response in Japanese Kanji. I do not read Japanese Kanji and could really use some help translating...i would love to have a woman's perspective if possible? ★の本心★ 人ってなかなか変わらないから、そのままのあなたを受 け入れなきゃいけないんだろうけど、女ともだちがすご く大事で、しょっちゅう話してる人は私は嫌い。いくら 私を大事にしてくれるって口で言ってても、私がいる部 屋を出て女の子に長電話して女みたいに愚痴こぼしてる ようじゃ、ダメでしょ。 なんてゆうかな、誠意がないよね、その行動。…男なら さ、ぺちゃくちゃしゃべってないで、黙って歯くいしば ってがんばりなよ。 大事にしてるってあなたは言うけど、私はちっとも大事 にされてる気がしない。君にコーチを買ってあげるとか 、生活費を出すからとか、お金じゃないのよ！問題は。 君に今までこんなにしてあげたジャン？とかさ。自分 で言ったら終わりじゃない？？ 僕が女の子と二人で住んで、そこに君も住めばいいって 平気で言える神経を、私は疑う。私に怒られなくても、 その異常さに気が付いてほしい。 モリーみたいに、ちゃんとしてる人はそれが変だって言 うよ。言わない人は、あなたと同じく、ちょっと無神経 なんじゃないかな。そうゆう無神経な人を、ナイスだっ て褒めるあなたも、ちょっとどうかしてると思う。 しょっちゅう電話くれて、気にかけてますよ？ってあか らさまなセリフ言う女の人のことばっかりナイスって言 っているように聞こえて、あなたのナイスには賛同しか ねることがある。女は計算できるのよー。男みたいに単 純じゃなくて、計算なくしても、自然と損得で行動でき るの。だから、自分は女ごころがわかるなんて、思い違 いしないで。女はわからない、女は怖い、くらいに思っ ていてちょうどいいと思うんだ。女が二人も家にいたら 面倒くさいって。本当に女心わかっている人はそう言う よ。 女の子と、同等に友達関係が気付けてるってあなたが思 い込んでいる。そこが私が一番怖いところなんだろうな 、きっと。 あなたはこの日本語を、どう解読するのか知らないけど 、こういうこと、もっとさらっと伝えられたらいいのに 。。。もどかしい。 そして、こんだけ文句？いいながらも、まだちょっとど こかであなたに期待してる私も、どうかしてる。 誰か が翻訳して彼に伝えるのかしら？？…こんな話、他人に 見られるの嫌だね。 でも日本語でメールしちゃう私も 、意地が悪いな。。。 ごめんなさい。 Thank you very much for all the help!! Kind regards Ffrogger - Kensignton 
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01-29-2010, 04:27 AM
Quote:
I'll do a very fast, rough translation. I won't even bother to make sure the English has correct syntax: often you have extremely long descriptive clauses that are awkward to put in English. Quote:
Do you know someone named Seriph? She's upset about how you're all up in her bizniz about how great she is, too. She ends with (this is a very rough, quick paraphrase): Quote:
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01-29-2010, 06:20 AM
Took me a while to register for some reason but yeah. Basically she doesnt trust you and thinks that you are insincere.
モリーみたいに、ちゃんとしてる人はそれが変だって言 うよ (this part I think is saying: Just like Molly, any decent person would say that it is weird.(you living with a girl, and want her to come live with you guys) and someone who doesn't say it is weird is quite insensitive just like you. and for you to call that person (your roommate who doesn't think it is weird) nice, makes me wonder what the hell you are thinking?
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01-29-2010, 07:43 AM
Wow it felt awkward to read through such a personal passage...
I`ll do a quick fly through translation too. I don`t know the background, so where stuff is left out I`ll just have to guess, but here - a translation from a female; True Feelings People aren`t so quick to change, so I would have to accept you as you are - but I hate a guy who considers his female friends so important that he talks to them all the time. No matter how many times you *say* I`m important to you - if you`re calling another girl up while I`m in the room and talking to her for so long, whining like a girl about everything... It`s hopeless. I don`t know how to explain it better, but doing something like that shows you are insincere. If you`re really a man, you`d suffer through it and put forth some effort - not complain constantly. You say you`re treating me well, but it sure doesn`t feel like it on my end. "I`ll buy you a Coach." "I`ll give you money to live on.".. It`s not about the money. "Haven`t I done so much for you?" - It kind of defeats the point if you SAY that, don`t you think? I really have to doubt your sanity when you say stuff like "I live with another girl - just the two of us - you should live with us too." I really want you to realize just how abnormal that is without me getting angry and pointing it out. Anyone normal and decent like Molly would say that is weird. Anyone who *doesn`t* say that is the same as you - totally insensitive. And I really cannot believe that you praise someone that insensitive, saying how nice they are - it`s insane. ----------------- And I`ll get to the rest after I get home - need to go pick up my son from kindergarten now. I took a couple liberties with the translation, made it sound a bit more natural (in my opinion) to what she is trying to say to you. ETA; Home now - here is the rest. -------------- "But she`s calling all the time, concerned about us?" - You keep saying this girl who continually gives you these obvious "lines" is so nice... I really find it hard to agree with what you consider "nice". Girls are calculating. We`re not simple like guys are - even if there is no calculation involved we naturally move on what will be to our advantage. So don`t tell me you understand what women are thinking. "I don`t know what she is thinking. She is a bit scary." is how it *should* be. It would be nothing but a pain to live with two women. Anyone who REALLY understands women would know that much. You seem to think that you have a perfectly equal friendship-only relationship with that girl. I think that is what I find the most frightening. I have no idea how you are going to interpret this Japanese. I wish I could just say this to you directly... It`s so frustrating. And even though I have complained this much, I still find myself hoping a tiny bit that things will work out - pathetic, aren`t I. "Maybe someone will translate this for him..." But I really don`t want anyone else to see this. But I guess sending it in Japanese to begin with was a bit mean of me. I`m sorry. -------------------------- The end. Note to KyleGoetz - セリフ is 台詞 - in this context, like "lines". The type she`s heard so many times before. And to the OP. You may not be looking for advice here, but - sorry. So... You want your girlfriend to come and live with you, but you already live together with another girl... Who you continually praise, and who calls you all the time/you call her all the time - neglecting your girlfriend. Ouch. Don`t you think that`s a little... odd? And on top of that, if she expresses concern or unhappiness about that situation, you bring up the fact that you`ve spent so much time or money on her? You hit the BIGGEST relationship no-nos I can think of short of flat out cheating on her.
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01-29-2010, 08:56 AM
Quote:
She has decided not to see you, and there is no future with you. That is not a "rough patch" that is a "break up". You may feel it is something you can work through, but she doesn't. Please don't torture this girl any further. Let her go so she can go on to find a guy that will treat her how she wants to be treated.
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01-29-2010, 09:05 AM
Quote:
The "I`m sorry" at the end of her message doesn`t read as an "I`m sorry for writing this in Japanese" - it reads as "I`m sorry, but this is the end." She is pointing out things that you should have realized on your own, that should have been obvious to you without her bringing them up. Even if you were to change these things after she got upset about them, it would mean close to nothing. Plus, you`ve tried to blackmail her into continuing the relationship with some line of "But I`ve invested so much into you." or the like. From the view of a girl, that reduces everything you`ve done so far to dust. It`s not kindness if you are doing it for your own advantage. Just let her go.
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01-29-2010, 12:30 PM
Yeah I did not have time but I wanted to add that, living with a girl and dating with a Japanese girl.. yeah that would have to be on the "Top 10 ways to lose your Japanese girlfriend" list. Plutonic relationships..(this is just my opinion) really don't hold a lot of water here in Japan... I just think people here view them differently, and it is best to keep stuff in a group setting with guys and girls. So not just hanging out one on one with but living with another girl... yeah.. not a good idea at all.
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01-29-2010, 02:10 PM
Quote:
Then again, this is different since it appears they have no plans to live in the same country again. And I wasn't living with another girl and basically having an emotional relationship with the other girl while going through this.
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I just wanted to say thank you to everyone! -
01-29-2010, 10:18 PM
I really appreciate everybody's effort with the translation. KyleGoetz, Nyororin, thank you very much for all your time and opinions. Its really nice to have a human perspective. I tried using some of the online translators and this has made everything so much clearer. It was exactly what I needed.
RickOShay, MMM I do appreciate the feed back as well. It has really helped out a lot The perspectives and opinions are definatly recognized.I do not want to get into much detail, because I feel it is not necessary for the true purpose of my post, but i felt is was important to give a little more perspective on the premise of her opinions. It was tough for me to post my feeling and especially knowing that there was negativity in her words. I did feel that it was important to know the whole truth and not speculate what what on her mind. I did want to mention that I do not live with a girl!...My idea was to move to a new place closer to my work and have a roommate to help reduce the cost of living expenses. This would than allow her to have the car to get around and I could just walk to work. I work in a higher rental area in SF and didn't want to live in a little tiny studio. A good friend of mine, who happens to be a girl, was also looking to find a place in the city as well. It's someone that I have know for about ten years and consider as little sister to me. She is also someone that I could trust and i thought the transition would be easier than trying to find some random roommate. Well, I really did think the whole process through and now this is where things have lead to. What a great learning experience!?! Thank you again to everyone! - Kensignton
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