what's bad in japan?

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Henbaka

You can say that about (well, almost) anything. And you should. Now don't think I'm trying to proclaim something here, but don't you think that _SOMETIMES_ women won't 'choose' to do this or that, because they already know they can't?

I`ll have to get back to you on that one if I ever encounter a real Japanese woman who expresses that sentiment. (In contrast to foreign woman in Japan, wanting to raise a battle cry for her poor Japanese sisters that she thinks are so oppressed because they don`t want to sacrifice home life for a career. They`re a dime a dozen.)

The sentiment I DO hear a lot (before marriage) is that they wish their bosses wouldn`t put so much responsibility on their shoulders - I mean, everyone knows we plan to quit in a few years anyway. We seriously don`t want to have to deal with a guilt trip when they can`t find somebody with the qualifications to replace us.
And after marriage, that they wish they had never accepted that promotion because it means they couldn`t take off whenever they wanted to go on trips with their mom, sisters, friends, etc... Or that they REALLY wish their husband made enough money that they could stay home.

I have yet to hear a single complaint about the glass ceiling. Most women see that as a "US" term.

[JoshAussie]

Just wondering if theres a certain age Japanese women try and get married by? from what im hearing (work aside) they really want to find a husband.. as here in australia its pretty .. i dunno.. i dont even hear girls talk about marriage.. they just like sitting in bikinis on the beach being sexy (is this just my fairly young age).. i think it has something to do with the system in australia.. (or maybe its just because i live on a coastal tourist destination.. where women just sit in bikinis on the beach all day)

anyway.. is the marriage in Japan a cultural thing? do men also try and find a woman before i certain age? or is it like Australia and not given any thought?

[Henbaka]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

I`ll have to get back to you on that one if I ever encounter a real Japanese woman who expresses that sentiment. (In contrast to foreign woman in Japan, wanting to raise a battle cry for her poor Japanese sisters that she thinks are so oppressed because they don`t want to sacrifice home life for a career. They`re a dime a dozen.)

The sentiment I DO hear a lot (before marriage) is that they wish their bosses wouldn`t put so much responsibility on their shoulders - I mean, everyone knows we plan to quit in a few years anyway. We seriously don`t want to have to deal with a guilt trip when they can`t find somebody with the qualifications to replace us.
And after marriage, that they wish they had never accepted that promotion because it means they couldn`t take off whenever they wanted to go on trips with their mom, sisters, friends, etc... Or that they REALLY wish their husband made enough money that they could stay home.

I have yet to hear a single complaint about the glass ceiling. Most women see that as a "US" term.

Since I'm no american, I can't really say how it is there.

I guess my question was more hypothetic, since you said before the people you know didn't want to have a big career. I agree foreign people shouldn't try to come and say what's what.

I do think your way of thinking is _so_ different from women in _so many_ western countries, and that's why this clash of opinions and feelings occur.
Also, you could perhaps agree that the "stay at home, take care of house&children" mentality was dominant in most western countries before the women's right movements and equal rights, rights to vote, etcetera. I think that's a big reason to why western women would say japanese women are oppressed. They simply just think that they are now in the same situation as women in their countries were in say a hundred years back.. I can't really blame them for the most part.

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by Henbaka

Have you visited Sweden or any nordic countries? Just curious.

Yes, I have, but only very briefly. I said "most" western countries, not all. And while I don't expect people to remove their shoes in my house, they will remove them before entering the one with tatami matted floors. My carpeting can be cleaned, so it is not an issue. But I will say that there seems to be a social barrier that is lowered slightly when westerners remove their shoes, simply because you don't normally do so except in your own home.

[jrocka83]

Originally Posted by JoshAussie

Just wondering if theres a certain age Japanese women try and get married by? from what im hearing (work aside) they really want to find a husband.. as here in australia its pretty .. i dunno.. i dont even hear girls talk about marriage.. they just like sitting in bikinis on the beach being sexy (is this just my fairly young age).. i think it has something to do with the system in australia.. (or maybe its just because i live on a coastal tourist destination.. where women just sit in bikinis on the beach all day)

anyway.. is the marriage in Japan a cultural thing? do men also try and find a woman before i certain age? or is it like Australia and not given any thought?

Age 26. After that Japanese men treat them like old christmas cake. Most Japanese girls either look for foriegners or stay single after that age.

[Henbaka]

Originally Posted by TalnSG

Yes, I have, but only very briefly. I said "most" western countries, not all. And while I don't expect people to remove their shoes in my house, they will remove them before entering the one with tatami matted floors. My carpeting can be cleaned, so it is not an issue. But I will say that there seems to be a social barrier that is lowered slightly when westerners remove their shoes, simply because you don't normally do so except in your own home.

Yeah well, to me it's just good manners. Dare to try and dirty down my white mat with your shoes and you're out, fast! Maybe if the person in question comes back the next day and cleans my carpet for me...

[JoshAussie]

Originally Posted by jrocka83

Age 26. After that Japanese men treat them like old christmas cake. Most Japanese girls either look for foriegners or stay single after that age.

Is it desperation to find a husband before that age? like a rush? its like they dont care who they marry as long as they marry? well from what iv head so far anyway.. like the thing with the foreigners.. "oh !@#$ im 26 and not married.. better find a foreigner"

???



EDIT: i find myself extremely interested in Japanese relationships.. i duno why

[blimp]

grant thornton did a study of the representation of senior management in 32 countries based upon sex. guess who had the lowest representation? surprise surprise, japan! and it is not a western thing. the country with the best female representation was the philippines with China, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Thailand and Taiwan in the top ten.

the global gender gap report ranks japan as nr 91

and now on to the quiz show.
who said 女性は産む機械?
and lastly, who said オンナは視野が狭い　in addition to　子供を一人も産まない女性が将来福祉を受ける権利� ��ない

r there countries that r just as bad as japan? absolutely, but that doesn't make japan good, in this aspect

ps. the square things are supposed to be は

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by JoshAussie

Is it desperation to find a husband before that age? like a rush? its like they dont care who they marry as long as they marry? well from what iv head so far anyway.. like the thing with the foreigners.. "oh !@#$ im 26 and not married.. better find a foreigner"

???



EDIT: i find myself extremely interested in Japanese relationships.. i duno why

These days it`s 32. Most everyone gets married between 26 and 32. If you get married before 26, everyone tells you how young you are...

It has a lot to do with having children - things get harder after a certain age.

[Henbaka]

While I would agree with anyone saying such reports is hard to get totally accurate, I'm proud to see Sweden is #1 Actually fun to see that top 4 are nordic countries, and top 8 includes all nordic countries!