Marry ^^

[spicytuna]

Originally Posted by jesselt

"The highest rate of divorce in the 2001 survey was 41 percent for men who were then between the ages of 50 to 59, and 39 percent for women in the same age group."

Taken from The New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html

Those are American numbers. On the other hand, the divorce rate for international marriages in Japan is 1 in 2.5 marriages according to the Japan times.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be in a position where I had to depend on my spouse to teach me everything from using the toilet to riding the subway. I'd do my best to become self sufficient in the foreign country of my choice before I'd consider marriage.

Of course that's just me. I'm hoping the OP has taken all facets of this serious commitment into consideration.

[alanX]

Originally Posted by MMM

Yesterday a guy came on and made a new thread asking if 幸愛 were the correct kanji for "happiness" and "love". I could have said "yes" and been done with it, but instead I added the information that put together they read the girl's name Sachie or Sachika (among others).

So he got more information than he asked for, but guess who isn't getting 幸愛 tattooed on his back anymore.

You're a Japanese translator. You do it for a living. You should have told him the correct kanji, like you did. This isn't translating Japanese. This a kid's decision about what he want's to do with his life. I respect your opinion. But I'm sticking to my own, and personally, I hope this individual follows through with this plan, I see no fault in it.

There are subjects in which you give people advise, who and when to marry is not one of them. And that's all I have to say about this.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by spicytuna

Those are American numbers. On the other hand, the divorce rate for international marriages in Japan is 1 in 2.5 marriages according to the Japan times.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be in a position where I had to depend on my spouse to teach me everything from using the toilet to riding the subway. I'd do my best to become self sufficient in the foreign country of my choice before I'd consider marriage.

Of course that's just me. I'm hoping the OP has taken all facets of this serious commitment into consideration.

I wonder what the rate is for international marriages between people under the age of 20.

If he is 17 and doesn't live in Japan, and she is 19 and does, how much actual time could they have possibly have spent together? A couple weeks? A month? At all? I don't know, so I am not going to guess, but my spidey-senses tell me it isn't enough time for someone who isn't even fully physically or mentally an adult to make a decision on.

Originally Posted by alanX

You're a Japanese translator. You do it for a living. You should have told him the correct kanji, like you did. This isn't translating Japanese. This a kid's decision about what he want's to do with his life. I respect your opinion. But I'm sticking to my own, and personally, I hope this individual follows through with this plan, I see no fault in it.

There are subjects in which you give people advise, who and when to marry is not one of them. And that's all I have to say about this.

It's funny how my experience and maturity is important for tattoos, but for actually important life-change decisions it is not.

I know YOU don't see any fault in his plan. Because you are his age. I am a little older and have seen a few more things. And now I see a car possible headed for a cliff, so pardon me if I try to waive him off.

[spicytuna]

Originally Posted by MMM

I wonder what the rate is for international marriages between people under the age of 20.

If he is 17 and doesn't live in Japan, and she is 19 and does, how much actual time could they have possibly have spent together? A couple weeks? A month? At all? I don't know, so I am not going to guess, but my spidey-senses tell me it isn't enough time for someone who isn't even fully physically or mentally an adult to make a decision on.

I completely agree with you but then again, I'm over twice the age of the OP and I'd like to think that I'm a lot wiser as well.

I still remember the crush I had on my first girlfriend in high school. We constantly talked about getting married and running off without a care for this world. Thankfully, we listened to our parents who told us that they'd support us 100% if we still felt that way after we graduated from university.

Of course by then, we realized that the world was at our disposal as we decided to go our separate ways. She became a doctor and traveled the world as she volunteered her medical services. I became an extreme athlete and corporate puppet.

We're still the best of friends but we both laugh at how close we came to limiting our options at such a young age.

[alanX]

Originally Posted by MMM

It's funny how my experience and maturity is important for tattoos, but for actually important life-change decisions it is not.

I know YOU don't see any fault in his plan. Because you are his age. I am a little older and have seen a few more things. And now I see a car possible headed for a cliff, so pardon me if I try to waive him off.

Your experience and maturity is not important for tattoos. Your knowledge of Japanese language is important for tattoos. I respect you probably more than anyone else here on this forum, but I can't bring myself to agree with what you're saying.

I bet somewhere some statistics say something like "85% of people who smoke will die of smoking related diseases" Does that mean everyone who smokes will die of smoking related diseases? No, not at all.

Because someone said in the New York Times that marriages usually don't work at young ages, that they never do? Marriages don't work sometimes, it's a part of life, and there is no way of knowing if it will work or not. But it's not your place, the New York Time's statistics, or anyone else's to express if they think it will or not. These kids might get married and grow to hate each other, or they can live until they're seven hundred and ninety years old still as in love with each other.

With all due respect, as far as I know, you're not a Psychic. He wasn't asking if you think his marriage will work or not. And it's not our place to judge, MMM.

It might, it might not.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by alanX

I bet somewhere some statistics say something like "85% of people who smoke will die of smoking related diseases" Does that mean everyone who smokes will die of smoking related diseases? No, not at all.

Does that make smoking a good idea?

[godwine]

Originally Posted by alanX

Your experience and maturity is not important for tattoos. Your knowledge of Japanese language is important for tattoos. I respect you probably more than anyone else here on this forum, but I can't bring myself to agree with what you're saying.

I bet somewhere some statistics say something like "85% of people who smoke will die of smoking related diseases" Does that mean everyone who smokes will die of smoking related diseases? No, not at all.

Because someone said in the New York Times that marriages usually don't work at young ages, that they never do? Marriages don't work sometimes, it's a part of life, and there is no way of knowing if it will work or not. But it's not your place, the New York Time's statistics, or anyone else's to express if they think it will or not. These kids might get married and grow to hate each other, or they can live until they're seven hundred and ninety years old still as in love with each other.

With all due respect, as far as I know, you're not a Psychic. He wasn't asking if you think his marriage will work or not. And it's not our place to judge, MMM.

It might, it might not.

I don't think MMM was TELLING him that it will not work. Its just a suggestion based on facts and figures. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no where did I see MMM saying "It won't work, don't do it". It was a mere suggestion of "slow down and think twice"

I would do the same and make the same suggestion if he didn't beat me to it.

[FeyOberon]

First, let me say congratulations and I wish you well!

It seems to me that no one is really trying to tell the OP what he can or can't do, rather they are offering their advice based on their individual experiences. (I see now that godwine beat me to this point, but I'll post it anyway.)

Because it just seems kind of morbid to quote divorce rates to a starry-eyed young man planning for his marriage, I will take a different approach to the same basic end. Love isn't something that needs to be rushed; if it's there, it will still be there a couple years down the line.

I'm sure that moving to a foreign country must be a huge stressor (even just moving to a new city is), and I know that marriage is. So are: pursuing an education, starting a career path, and supporting yourself in the world for the first time.

What I'm saying is that there is no reason to put your relationship through all of those stressors, all at once. Move to Japan, go to school, start a career, put down some roots -- all the while your relationship can develop into something even deeper than it is now, as you look forward to your future together. When you've got more stability, marry her.

More time never hurts.

(I will add that one of my best friends got married right out of high school and is still married, and happy, 22 years later.)

[alanX]

Originally Posted by MMM

Does that make smoking a good idea?

No, It does not.

You have a right to think whatever you want to think. You might think the marriage will crumble and fall apart within weeks. You have all the power in the world to think this. And you might even be right. But that does NOT give you right to express this to the the individual. Despite how much "maturity" and "experience" you have.

That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

And now I'll leave this thread for good, since we both have our different opinions, there is no point in rubbing them in eachother's faces.

Originally Posted by godwine

I don't think MMM was TELLING him that it will not work. Its just a suggestion based on facts and figures. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no where did I see MMM saying "It won't work, don't do it". It was a mere suggestion of "slow down and think twice"

I would do the same and make the same suggestion if he didn't beat me to it.

You're right! He did not say "it wont work"
But I also never heard the OP ask for anyone's opinions, so I don't think these opinions should be voiced.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by alanX

No, It does not.

You have a right to think whatever you want to think. You might think the marriage will crumble and fall apart within weeks. You have all the power in the world to think this. And you might even be right. But that does NOT give you right to express this to the the individual. Despite how much "maturity" and "experience" you have.

That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

And now I'll leave this thread for good, since we both have our different opinions, there is no point in rubbing them in eachother's faces.

Please, Alan, cut the drama. I never said anything like that. I asked a series of questions...that is all. If there is anything illegitimate about any of the questions I asked in my response to the OP, then please, let me know.