Social Balance as a Gaijin

[WingsToDiscovery]

How do you deal with/feel about these scenarios, or do you just not care?

From the first perspective, I'll talk about gaijin amongst other gaijin. What I've tended to notice is that most gaijin will never be truly happy with each other. On one hand, a gaijin may be ostracized by other gaijin for not trying to fit into the culture enough, or will always try to one-up newbies. Then another gaijin will get the same crap for being too into the culture. Many gaijin will judge each other and detest each other. We have examples even on this forum about not wanting to associate with other gaijin, hating other gaijin, etc.

But then you have being a gaijin from the Japanese perspective. If you take too little interest in social customs, many Japanese will just think you're an ignorant foreigner and treat you as such. If you try too hard, they'll question why you're trying to be more Japanese than them.

It's hard to find a healthy balance of where one should fall, in my opinion.

[BobbyCooper]

Thats another typical Western society Problem we have here.

It's called envy which is very common towards us! No actually envy isn't the right word for it. I don't know the English word to describe it.


I told you in the other thread what I'm going to do with them.. Ignore!

[WingsToDiscovery]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Thats another typical Western society Problem we have here.

It's called envy which is very common towards us! No actually envy isn't the right word for it. I don't know the English word to describe it.


I told you in the other thread what I'm going to do with them.. Ignore!

Well of course you can ignore the gaijin; I acknowledge that. But you'll get it from Japanese people too.

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by WingsToDiscovery

Well of course you can ignore the gaijin; I acknowledge that. But you'll get it from Japanese people too.

From Japanese? What you mean by that?

[WingsToDiscovery]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

From Japanese? What you mean by that?

Read the second paragraph.

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by WingsToDiscovery

Read the second paragraph.

Well now thats just laughable Wings.

Impossible for me to believe that it in any kinda way.


Personally, I think you invest way too much time in thinking what others might think about you. That is not good at all.

Be yourself! And when you like to behave more like Japanese.. Please do so, one better person out there then!

[WingsToDiscovery]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Well now thats just laughable Wings.

Impossible for me to believe that it in any kinda way.

You can believe what you want, but that's a pretty accurate description of how it is.

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Personally, I think you invest way too much time in thinking what others might think about you. That is not good at all.

You've clearly let it be known that you don't want anything to do with foreigners. Maybe you spend a little too much time judging other people without giving them a chance. That's not good at all.

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Be yourself! And when you like to behave more like Japanese.. Please do so, one better person out there then!

There's a difference between respecting cultural customs and trying to be a part of them.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by WingsToDiscovery

But then you have being a gaijin from the Japanese perspective. If you take too little interest in social customs, many Japanese will just think you're an ignorant foreigner and treat you as such. If you try too hard, they'll question why you're trying to be more Japanese than them.

I've never heard of the latter phenomena.

In my experience... you can never try too hard to fit in, in Japanese society from a Japanese perspective.

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by WingsToDiscovery

You can believe what you want, but that's a pretty accurate description of how it is.

It's impossible to believe for me! Maybe others will I can not.

You've clearly let it be known that you don't want anything to do with foreigners. Maybe you spend a little too much time judging other people without giving them a chance. That's not good at all.

Never said I don't like foreigners or that I hate them.. I just don't want to spend time with them during my time in Japan is that too much to ask? Forgive me but I spend 23 years with these people now.. enough of it, need a change!

There's a difference between respecting cultural customs and trying to be a part of them.

Ok tell me the difference then?

[GoNative]

Originally Posted by WingsToDiscovery

How do you deal with/feel about these scenarios, or do you just not care?

From the first perspective, I'll talk about gaijin amongst other gaijin. What I've tended to notice is that most gaijin will never be truly happy with each other. On one hand, a gaijin may be ostracized by other gaijin for not trying to fit into the culture enough, or will always try to one-up newbies. Then another gaijin will get the same crap for being too into the culture. Many gaijin will judge each other and detest each other. We have examples even on this forum about not wanting to associate with other gaijin, hating other gaijin, etc.

But then you have being a gaijin from the Japanese perspective. If you take too little interest in social customs, many Japanese will just think you're an ignorant foreigner and treat you as such. If you try too hard, they'll question why you're trying to be more Japanese than them.

It's hard to find a healthy balance of where one should fall, in my opinion.

Can't say I experienced any of the issues of gaijin not getting along with other gaijin where I lived, well not for the sorts of reasons you state above. Everyone got along pretty well. There were social groups of course but they were more split along lines of professions and interests like sports. Most company owners for instance would not be seen at the weekly poker night. They could be found though in the cycling group or out playing golf. Never really met anyone who was overly concerned about how much you were or were not into Japanese culture. Just about everyone there regardless of profession was there because of the great snow and skiing. Some of us almost purely for that reason, others almost purely for the business opportunities and money to be made from ski tourism. Some had been in the region for over 20 years whilst most others had only started living there within the last 5 years. Many spoke fluent Japanese, took a great interest in the culture and had Japanese partners and many barely spoke a word of Japanese and had little interest in any cultural aspects. Such things though generally didn't have any determination on the social groups that formed.