What should I do?

[Sheemy]

Originally Posted by KylieHJensen

First, I want to point out any given advice is only meant to be taken into consideration. One has the right to exercise and choose which advice best fit their situation. After all, she is the one that will ultimately make any type of decisions and we are only here to offer our opinion and advice.

Second, it is my years of professional study and experience (I am a Psychologist) history have shown me that most guys who would end their relationship with their girlfriend and begin a new one with the previous, often shows continuation affection toward the ex. In many cases, the love/feeling for the previous ex never went away and still holds true during the next relationship (in this case, Nobora.)

Third, mostly like it is true her boyfriend is yet matured enough to decide what is best for the relationship. The boyfriend so far, only thinks what is best for him and not for both of them.

Lastly, action sets precedence as the boyfriend clearly has shown immaturity. If he truly loved her, and family issues got in the way of their relationship, it is highly unlike for him to start dating the previous girlfriend if he was truly in love with Nobora.

Dear Kylie,
from what i understood from the very begining of the thread ... the first post by Nobora, i understood that they broke up and then his ex-gf asked him on a date (he didn't ask her on a date) and he told Nobora about that date and he was asking her what to do .... now knowing that they broke up because of family issues which means that they did NOT choose to break up, things are clear for me ... he is deeply hurt and it looks like there is no way they could return to each other because of the family issues and his ex gf (which he already loved her before) asked him out on a date ... maybe he made a mistake by going out with her as she cheated him before, but i guess u know in such sitiuations like being deeply hurt, making mistakes is very possible especially at the begining.

[Sheemy]

Originally Posted by nobora

Yes sheemy your completley right. Its my decision. And I know that i still like him cuz when i saw him. my heart just spazzed out. so thats good right?

Nobora, i've been in love before and i've been hurt before many times but still when i see or talk to the one whom i loved before on the phone, yes i feel something (butterflies) and maybe i still love her, but we cannot carry on with each other ... so what i was telling u is that u know him the best as u can't express everything u feel, see and know to us so u have to use ur mind and don't follow ur heart and feelings alone ... if U know deep within u that he is a good person and not a cheater or anything alike, then keep ur relationship with him, otherwise cut ur relationship with him and find someone better

[KylieHJensen]

Originally Posted by Sheemy

Dear Kylie,
from what i understood from the very begining of the thread ... the first post by Nobora, i understood that they broke up and then his ex-gf asked him on a date (he didn't ask her on a date) and he told Nobora about that date and he was asking her what to do .... now knowing that they broke up because of family issues which means that they did NOT choose to break up, things are clear for me ... he is deeply hurt and it looks like there is no way they could return to each other because of the family issues and his ex gf (which he already loved her before) asked him out on a date ... maybe he made a mistake by going out with her as she cheated him before, but i guess u know in such sitiuations like being deeply hurt, making mistakes is very possible especially at the begining.

Sheemy,

Ever thought of why the (ex)boyfriend would agree to go on a date with the previous girlfriend after the initial break up? One has to still have feelings for in order to agree to such ordeal.

Regardless the situation between him and the previous girlfriend. Pattern seems to repeat itself and I hold true to my statement above. I sincerely hope she can make the correct decisions, otherwise it's going to be a long hurtful summer.

[Sheemy]

Originally Posted by KylieHJensen

Sheemy,

Ever thought of why the (ex)boyfriend would agree to go on a date with the previous girlfriend after the initial break up? One has to still have feelings for in order to agree to such ordeal.

Regardless the situation between him and the previous girlfriend. Pattern seems to repeat itself and I hold true to my statement above. I sincerely hope she can make the correct decisions, otherwise it's going to be a long hurtful summer.

Kylie,
we both want the greater good for Nobora (that's why we are here from the first place) and u're using ur experience and i'm using mine ... so far so good but remember something we really dunno anything about him and his character that's why i never said "he is" and i always said " i think he might be" and that's why i never said " go for it" and i said "i would say go for it" and finally that's why i keep telling Nobora to just read our posts and only she decides what to do as she knows him best. You on the other hand keep saying "he is" and "it is going to be a hurtful summer" i mean u speak as if it is a fact.

were i in his place and i broke up with my girl friend because of some family issues and it seemed that there was no way we could be back to each other again because then i would have to choose between her and my family and making a lot of troubles with my family, then why not going out with any other girl (my ex gf or not)? i mean there is neither loyalty nor treason in that and my proof to that is that when he asked Nobora what to do .. the normal answer was "it's ur life and ur decision" ... i know she didn't want to say that but it's the normal answer!

I tried really to explain all that in my previous post which i think u missunderstood it and i say it again maybe he made a mistake by going out with his ex gf as she cheated him before but then again when u r hurt sometimes u dun take the right decisions and i think he was honest enough to tell Nobora that his ex gf ignored him and he didn't make up any story to make him look like the one who ignored his ex gf

[nobora]

Sheemy and Kylie,

Thank You for your posts i read them and took some stuff from both of them . Yes I am using both my mind and feelings as I type this, I do think he is a good guy, I dont think he would cheat or do any of that stuff. I know him pretty well to where I know when he is lying and bottling something up. His excuses dont work on me and he knows it.
Kylie your right it was a painful summer at first but when we started talking agian it wasnt, everything just sort of fell back into place. It wasnt akward well the first few texts were since they were like 2 word texts but then it was like we were friends agian.