Which Japanese Female Problem Have You Experienced?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by jack10110

If you read all my posts, you would see that I acknowledge women getting married later in life but it's a choice they are making due to the weak economy, low salaries, no stability, nenkin all going to elderly, and expensive living costs. There is still a stigma about being over 25 and not married (I experienced it with my girlfriends and their parents), however due to Japans situation.........

"it can't be helped." <- love that line. I think more Americans should snap their tongue against their teeth, and say this line more. *sarcasm.

What is your basis for thinking women are waiting later to get married because of the bad economy? If the economy is bad a women should want to get married sooner for stability. This reasoning for women waiting to get married doesn't hold water because during the peak of the bubble economy, in the 80s did women get married younger? No, they steadily waited longer and longer.

If there is a stigma about waiting to get married after 25, no one seems to be affected by it, as the numbers reflect.

Originally Posted by jack10110

of course this graph he posted is true. What I meant by my earlier post was the stigma still exists...but its kind of an "oh well our economy is crap so we cant do anything about it" situation. Therefore they make the choice not to get married early.

And yet with all the problems we all just mentioned, the men and women continue to stay in Japan because.....their food is healthy, and outside Japan is dangerous and unpredictable. But this argument is for a another day

The only economy people worry about is their own. No one says "I am not going to get married until we get out of this recession."

What are you talking about "choosing to stay in Japan"? Japanese people choose to "stay in Japan" not because the food is healthy and the outside world is dangerous. They stay in Japan because they are Japanese. Your posts are getting sillier and sillier, to be honest.

[Sangetsu]

I have heard an example of every single item on the OP's list, though more than one could apply to western women as well.

Pretty much all Japanese women wish to be married by the age of 30. I know quite a few women who want to be married, but don't even have a boyfriend, let alone a fiancé.

Most Japanese women still dream of being housewives. They marry mainly for security, just as Japanese men list security as their top concern when job hunting.

The most common complaint I hear from men (Japanese and foreign) is lack of sex after marriage. Since security rates higher than love, there is often little romance in many relationships. Statistically speaking, Japanese have less sex than any other nationality, so there is obviously some truth to this complaint.

My girlfriend works a lot of hours, usually 12 hours per day or so. She is an officer at an American investment bank, and as such, her opportunity for advancement is much greater than most Japanese women. Her salary is much higher than a Japanese salaryman's, a fact which she is proud of. But she still sometimes thinks about what it would be like to be a stay-at-home housewife.

Japanese women [i]do[I/] have different relationships with foreigners than they do with Japanese men. My girlfriend thinks that Japanese men must be constantly "babied" to sooth their pride; the typical salaryman's life is mundane and mechanical, and it makes many men quite neurotic.

Anyway, Japanese women are different than western men in some ways, and the same in some others.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by jack10110

BTW are you the president of Realize?

Because if you are, you probably don't loose sleep over Japans staffing firms.

I hire directly and full time, secretaries are cheap anyways why bother making their life hell on top of it.

[steven]

Originally Posted by jack10110

What do you mean? I basically agreed with you. I just added the economic factor.

BTW are you the president of Realize?

Because if you are, you probably don't loose sleep over Japans staffing firms. But these blood sucking firms siphon Japanese salaries, keep wages from increasing, and due to the complex terms of employment the Japanese have to deal with TWO bosses (Their company boss, and then their staffing companies boss.) Since there is no way to advance, many live at home, quit jobs frequently, learn English, fly around the world, and then work again via another staffing firm for a few weeks/months. Its an endless cycle.

Heres just a brief list of staffing firms if your curious: (I hate them as much as I dislike fake Japanese pasta at restaurants.)

HelloWork
Recruit
Adeco
Manpower
インテリジェンス
スタッフサービス
テンプスタッフ
パソナ
ニチイ学館
フジスタッフ
インテリジェンス
ヒューマンリソシア
松下エクセルスタッフ
ピープルスタッフ
アヴァンティスタッフ
メイツ
ヒューマントラスト
キャプラン
アロービジネスメイツ
ニスコム

This is, to me at least, the most interesting thing you've said. I'm curious to hear more about this. That might be a whole other thread though.

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

I have heard an example of every single item on the OP's list, though more than one could apply to western women as well.

Pretty much all Japanese women wish to be married by the age of 30. I know quite a few women who want to be married, but don't even have a boyfriend, let alone a fiancé.

Most Japanese women still dream of being housewives. They marry mainly for security, just as Japanese men list security as their top concern when job hunting.

The most common complaint I hear from men (Japanese and foreign) is lack of sex after marriage. Since security rates higher than love, there is often little romance in many relationships. Statistically speaking, Japanese have less sex than any other nationality, so there is obviously some truth to this complaint.

My girlfriend works a lot of hours, usually 12 hours per day or so. She is an officer at an American investment bank, and as such, her opportunity for advancement is much greater than most Japanese women. Her salary is much higher than a Japanese salaryman's, a fact which she is proud of. But she still sometimes thinks about what it would be like to be a stay-at-home housewife.

Japanese women [i]do[I/] have different relationships with foreigners than they do with Japanese men. My girlfriend thinks that Japanese men must be constantly "babied" to sooth their pride; the typical salaryman's life is mundane and mechanical, and it makes many men quite neurotic.

Anyway, Japanese women are different than western men in some ways, and the same in some others.

Do you honestly think this list is representative of the average Japanese woman? My point was not whether or not people like this exist, it was that these things are not unique to Japan, nor what someone should automatically expect from dating a Japanese girl.

[Sangetsu]

Originally Posted by RickOShay

Do you honestly think this list is representative of the average Japanese woman? My point was not whether or not people like this exist, it was that these things are not unique to Japan, nor what someone should automatically expect from dating a Japanese girl.

On the whole, yes, this list is fairly representative. Not every Japames woman will have every trait, but odds are very likely that they will have at least one or more. In a couple instances I have heard horror stories of women who have almost all of them.

But I'm sure that interesting lists could be made by Japanese women about foreign men, etc.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

On the whole, yes, this list is fairly representative. Not every Japames woman will have every trait, but odds are very likely that they will have at least one or more. In a couple instances I have heard horror stories of women who have almost all of them.

But I'm sure that interesting lists could be made by Japanese women about foreign men, etc.

Would you say the one I made about American women was true too?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

On the whole, yes, this list is fairly representative. Not every Japames woman will have every trait, but odds are very likely that they will have at least one or more. In a couple instances I have heard horror stories of women who have almost all of them.

But I'm sure that interesting lists could be made by Japanese women about foreign men, etc.

I wouldn't put up with any of these traits for more than a day or so. And somehow things have worked out for me.

Women with almost all of these traits should be hospitalized and under 24 hour surveillance. That is not normal or healthy.

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

On the whole, yes, this list is fairly representative. Not every Japames woman will have every trait, but odds are very likely that they will have at least one or more. In a couple instances I have heard horror stories of women who have almost all of them.

But I'm sure that interesting lists could be made by Japanese women about foreign men, etc.

All I can really say is that I disagree. Yeah, I have heard of stuff like this.. but I do not think it is a proper representation. And to me.. if you do think this is accurate.. then.. well I guess I just feel sorry for you that you have had to deal with and hear about women who act this way.

Honestly the only common thing any of my Japanese girlfriends have had is that they get jealous very easily... thats it.. other than that they have all been unique experiences exhibiting very few, if any of the things on this ridiculous list.

[Sangetsu]

Japan's society is a bit strange in many ways, and romantic relationships are not exception. Where else in the world have you seen so many love hotels? These don't exist only in the cities, but also out in the countryside. The clients of love hotels are often married or unmarried couples, but just as often they are used by those who are having affairs. It's often shocking how much fooling around actually goes on.

That Japanese have less sex than anyone else is a well known fact, and this phenomena has been discussed by the Japanese media on several occasions. Some put it up to stress in the workplace, while others reason that large numbers of couples marry for convenience' sake, and not out of love or romance.

More than one of the people I am acquainted with has talked about how his wife or soon-to-be wife is on his back about his job and income. The usual complaint is that he doesn't make enough money to have a family (meaning he doesn't make enough for her to quit her job and stay home). So these guys are working a full week, and teaching private students on the side to make extra cash.

Japanese women I talk to rarely have wonderful things to say about their husbands. They are most happy when their husbands are away on business trips, or working extra hours in the office. The more time they spend around their husbands, the less happy they are. They keep the bankbook and control the access to their husband's pay, giving him a little each day to pay for necessities, but rarely anything more.

Of course, there are plenty of couple in Japan, both Japanese and mixed, which are quite happy and "normal" (by western standards), but I can't honestly say that these "normal" couples are in the majority. Things are getting better as women find more opportunities for meaningful work, and western influences which make love a priority over convenience or security are having a partial effect as well.

I'll discuss this topic with my girlfriend tonight and see what her opinion is. Where better to get the facts than from the source?