Which Japanese Female Problem Have You Experienced?

[jack10110]

Originally Posted by MMM

All parents want their children to get married. That doesn't mean the outdated notion that a woman over the age of 25 is not marrying material.

If you read all my posts, you would see that I acknowledge women getting married later in life but it's a choice they are making due to the weak economy, low salaries, no stability, nenkin all going to elderly, and expensive living costs. There is still a stigma about being over 25 and not married (I experienced it with my girlfriends and their parents), however due to Japans situation.........

"it can't be helped." <- love that line. I think more Americans should snap their tongue against their teeth, and say this line more. *sarcasm.

[jack10110]

Originally Posted by RealJames

That's pretty interesting data, is it just for America or .. ?

If it's just American then I think it's safe to say the same thing has been happening in Japan, and to me it feels like it's even more so. I meet so many people getting married in their 30s but so few in their mid or late 20s.

of course this graph he posted is true. What I meant by my earlier post was the stigma still exists...but its kind of an "oh well our economy is crap so we cant do anything about it" situation. Therefore they make the choice not to get married early.

And yet with all the problems we all just mentioned, the men and women continue to stay in Japan because.....their food is healthy, and outside Japan is dangerous and unpredictable. But this argument is for a another day

[jack10110]

Originally Posted by RickOShay

I have dated a total of 8 Japanese women (that is not counting relationships that were less than 1 month, or ones that were not clearly defined as what they were).

Thank you for your post. I will remind you that this is aimed at people living with women (probably for more then 6 months.) However, if you had long relationships and had zero problems, then good for you.

This is an assortment of problems that I have heard again and again from friends, and of course some that I have personally experienced. If its something totally bizarre and rare, I wouldnt have listed it.

The only other point I am trying to make is that we SHOULDN'T compare these problems to western women. There is a different dynamic in Japan, that breeds this kind of behavior. I tried to list a few reasons (which could be wrong) but ultimately we will probably never really know.

[jack10110]

Thread Purpose/Goal:

There are people in need of help with their Japanese girlfriend/wives and they don't know where to turn.

Counseling is usually out of the question with Japanese women (a cultural thing.)

Some people may be forced to live in Japan, and give up their high paying jobs in their home country.

Or maybe they are not sure if they should get married right now...

So when in trouble, type an issue into Google, and here pops up my list. I can't give advice how to solve their problems, but at least they will know they are not alone.

As for me, I have a 2 month temp job at a law firm (state side), reviewing cases of Japanese women abducting their children and flying back to Japan. The men my firm are defending seem to be truly good husbands. I also compare these cases to the 9 years of issues I have experienced in Japan, and I am sorry it's just unacceptable.

I am sure we all have had good times, but we cant let it over shadow the underlining problems... I hate to say it again (and it sounds barbaric of me), but trying to change them, is like polishing a turd because you cant (unless its Myth Busters.) So all you can do is change your perception of the problem and turn that turd into an ice cream for two. Please no one post a link to the video we are all thinking of

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by jack10110

of course this graph he posted is true. What I meant by my earlier post was the stigma still exists...but its kind of an "oh well our economy is crap so we cant do anything about it" situation. Therefore they make the choice not to get married early.

And yet with all the problems we all just mentioned, the men and women continue to stay in Japan because.....their food is healthy, and outside Japan is dangerous and unpredictable. But this argument is for a another day

nonsense, they're waiting to get married to enjoy life, save money to go traveling and shopping every weekend and going out with friends at expensive restaurants while still living under mom and dads roof eating moms food and having her do the laundry so they can avoid becoming the mom with a shit life themselves
the economy is hardly bad, it's just not blissful as it was

[jack10110]

Originally Posted by RealJames

nonsense, they're waiting to get married to enjoy life, save money to go traveling and shopping every weekend and going out with friends at expensive restaurants while still living under mom and dads roof eating moms food and having her do the laundry so they can avoid becoming the mom with a shit life themselves
the economy is hardly bad, it's just not blissful as it was

Yes the enjoying life, and spending money is dead on good sir. When they get married they cant live this life anymore. But we shouldn't leave the economy out of the equation. Japans credit score was just downgraded AGAIN, and this time it was a big blow to Japan Inc/government.

Job salaries, and benefits are extremely low, and many Japanese are forced to find jobs via hakengaisya (staffing firms) vs direct life time hire. If you ever deal with a staffing firm in Japan (possibly if your an ALT you would understand) you could work for the same company for 10 years straight, but your salary would never increase. So what is a man and women to do making 240,000 yen a month for 10 years? Nothing. They cant get married until they save...Or quit their jobs frequently and travel, which makes them push back marriage even further.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by jack10110

Yes the enjoying life, and spending money is dead on good sir. When they get married they cant live this life anymore. But we shouldn't leave the economy out of the equation. Japans credit score was just downgraded AGAIN, and this time it was a big blow to Japan Inc/government.

Job salaries, and benefits are extremely low, and many Japanese are forced to find jobs via hakengaisya (staffing firms) vs direct life time hire. If you ever deal with a staffing firm in Japan (possibly if your an ALT you would understand) you could work for the same company for 10 years straight, but your salary would never increase. So what is a man and women to do making 240,000 yen a month for 10 years? Nothing. They cant get married until they save...Or quit their jobs frequently and travel, which makes them push back marriage even further.

I've never met anyone in that situation here.
But I have met a lot of young poor married couples, fresh out of university both broke or still students some times.
And I have also met so very man who have no desire to get married until they are over 30 and fully intend to enjoy the ride till then.

Consumerism is alive and well in Japan, you'd hardly know there was a problem with the economy looking at sales figures.

[jack10110]

Originally Posted by RealJames

I've never met anyone in that situation here.

What do you mean? I basically agreed with you. I just added the economic factor.

BTW are you the president of Realize?

Because if you are, you probably don't loose sleep over Japans staffing firms. But these blood sucking firms siphon Japanese salaries, keep wages from increasing, and due to the complex terms of employment the Japanese have to deal with TWO bosses (Their company boss, and then their staffing companies boss.) Since there is no way to advance, many live at home, quit jobs frequently, learn English, fly around the world, and then work again via another staffing firm for a few weeks/months. Its an endless cycle.

Heres just a brief list of staffing firms if your curious: (I hate them as much as I dislike fake Japanese pasta at restaurants.)

HelloWork
Recruit
Adeco
Manpower
インテリジェンス
スタッフサービス
テンプスタッフ
パソナ
ニチイ学館
フジスタッフ
インテリジェンス
ヒューマンリソシア
松下エクセルスタッフ
ピープルスタッフ
アヴァンティスタッフ
メイツ
ヒューマントラスト
キャプラン
アロービジネスメイツ
ニスコム

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by jack10110

Thank you for your post. I will remind you that this is aimed at people living with women (probably for more then 6 months.) However, if you had long relationships and had zero problems, then good for you.

This is an assortment of problems that I have heard again and again from friends, and of course some that I have personally experienced. If its something totally bizarre and rare, I wouldnt have listed it.

The only other point I am trying to make is that we SHOULDN'T compare these problems to western women. There is a different dynamic in Japan, that breeds this kind of behavior. I tried to list a few reasons (which could be wrong) but ultimately we will probably never really know.

I am living with my fiance now and we have been together for almost 4 years. I would not consider myself to be some sort of lucky minority though.
I have met a lot of Japanese women in my life, whether they were acquaintances, friends, or girlfriends, I never sensed any of the behavior issues you mentioned in the majority of them, and honestly if they did seem to have those issues, I probably stayed away from them, because anybody as obnoxious as some of the things you mentioned would stink of "annoying" like miles away. I do not doubt there are girls out there who have done the things you mention, but I seriously disagree that they should be counted as representative of the entire Japanese female populous as a whole.

I am more boggled why you and your friends would put up with these immature brats. In any case, if you end up with a Japanese wife I hope you can manage to find somebody who doesn't need to be spanked on a daily basis (in a bad way).

One more comment. I did not read the whole 25 years old debate.. but I have never heard the "cut off age" to be 25, it has always, always been 30 from what I have heard. Over 30 and not married is 負け犬.

[File0]

Those extreme cases in the list were very probably due to depression, might be manic depression(bipolar disorder) which the OP has mixed up with schizophrenia (point 6.). Non of these are things to lough at yet some thinks it's funny to say "If doctors in Japan diagnosed Schizophrenia shed be on the meds!".
It's NOT funny!!! It's just immature!
BTW as I'm not a native English speaker I'm not sure how he meant this but it sounds like he's implying that doctors in Japan don't even know about schizophrenia. (Maybe he has a list about Japanese doctors too - I'd not be surprised...)

OP
I don't know what makes you think that you're qualified to give advices - even if there aren't many places to go to solve your problems as a couple, it doesn't mean that you're the one who have to solve them or that you can replace a counselor! Though what you are claiming to be your goal with all this really seems hypocritical, and you have no idea how harmful this list can be!
Please just delete it and never share it again.