In love with a young girl
 

Hello there

I have got a problem. I am 24 and I live in Tokyo. My girlfriend is 16. We both want to have sex (up to a certain extent) together but I don't know what is legal and what is not in Tokyo. I know there are laws against things like enjo kosai. But this isn't anything like that. We are really in love. I don't give her money, although sometimes I treat her like any gentleman with his girlfriend.

I know the laws vary with the prefecture. There are a lot of contradictory rumors. Anyone knows about the real legal facts in Tokyo?

Thanks for you help

Mario

I don't have any advice.... I'm just curious as to what you could possible have in common with a 16 year old.

We have a lot in common: food, music, movies... And she is quite mature for a 16 year old.

Unfortunately According To The Japanese Law, You Can Not Have Any Sexual Activity With Anyone Under The Age of 18.

Quote:

Japan — Age of Consent Although the age of sexual consent in Japan is 13 years of age, prefecture law usually overrides federal law, raising the age up to 18.

Japan Legal FAQ - Is the age of consent in Japan really 13?


(I Hope This Website Will Serve Its Purpose And Reveal To You What You Seek.)

How do you even meet a 16 year old and start dating her?

psh. as long as you don't broadcast to the people in the area that you have sex. >.>

My friend dated a 27 year old before, and she was 17 at the time.

I think this is a mistake. Can anyine read the following Japanese entry on Wikipedia?

性的同意年齢 - Wikipedia

I met her at Starbucks. She was studying English and I just said Hello. And then... you know.

if you guys are so in love why rush things?

I agree.


@Mario
It's okay if she loves you, but if I would be in your shoes I would wait 2 or 3 years.

We rush things *because* we are in love. Not love like in romantic movies, but real love.

"Real" love doesn't *need* to be rushed. It's either there or it isn't.

u wouldn't... its impossible

Oh, the heatin' and the hollerin'. Yikes...

Just wait a wee longer. Foreplay is a nice enough substitute! D:

How long have you two been dating again?

arg i think the whole age thing is stupid.
by that i don't mean the law rules but the "oh there is a X amount of age" different.
true love isn't age dependent.
as long 2 people just love each otter thats what matters.
just follow the law of the country and do things when you both say that your ready for it.

*end of my point of view*

Translation please?

I think you'll find that consent laws cover any activities below the waist line..

Even ontop of the clothes stuff can be boarderline...

If Mario hadnt of posted this here, no one would have known, no one would have cared and they could have been bonking the night away instead of on a forum talking to randomers.

My opinion: forget what JF says, ask for HER opinion and wait till shes ready. I dont see how a law can decide when your ready to be intimate with someone..

Ask yourself if it is really worth spending a few nights in jail and then being permanently kicked out of Japan, and never allowed to come back. Once her father finds out about you that is a possible result. There will be no judge and no trial.

It sounds like you have already done some hanky-panky, so I would do what I could to remove myself from her until she graduates from high school. You are walking on thin ice.

I Dont Know How To Read That. Sorry Couldn't Be Much of a Help.
My Best Guess Is Listen to MMM and Not Try to Have Sex At All, Doesn't Look Pretty Once The Parents Are Involved.
Best of Luck.

Okay, I`m going to be rare and give the original poster the benefit of the doubt... As if I, at 28, can consider someone 15 one of my best friends... I guess I can`t say I am unable to imagine someone having enough in common with someone 8 years younger with them to end up in a relationship. (Although, just to be very clear, that is not happening in my case. I have better things to do than date middle schoolers...)

Let us say that you`re both mature and responsible... Obviously you are to some extent as you are researching things before jumping into this.

BUT - she is 16, and I doubt her English is THAT great... And it doesn`t look like your Japanese is either. (You asked for someone else to read the wiki article for you.) This leads me to believe that physical attraction, not "love" is the force at work here. Which would be fine, except that she`s 8 years younger than you. If the rush wears off, and she tells her parents, then they won`t be looking at the "law" and will jump on you for rape. In a normal case, (if you were Japanese) you MIGHT have a chance of defending yourself. But that`s pretty much out the window as you`re not.
Unless she is comfortable introducing you to her parents, then I would NOT go for sex. If it`s really *love* as you say, you should both be able to think maturely about the situation and realize things are far more likely to last and come to fruition if you hold back for a while.
Otherwise - what`s going to happen? You`ll have sex with her then leave Japan. Great end for your "real love" there. She can`t just up and marry you at this point - and if you have no interest in that outcome then it`s just a physical fling. Age has nothing to do with it on your side, but likely is making her think it`s true love.

That pretty much sums up it up right there. Couldn't have said it any better. Don't do something like that yet, even if you think you won't get caught, because you will sooner or later.

Edit: Also, love should not be seperated by age gaps. My mother and father have over a 10 year age gap between them, and that didn't stop them from finding each other. They're happily married to this day too.

My edit screwed up -.-;;

Maybe you should wait until she is at least 18. If you guys really loved each other you guys would hold on for two more years.

If you want to...then do...

but protect yourself from the law, with the same method you can use against unwanted pregnancy..

FAKE name...FAKE adress

works everytime

The authorities know where every foreigner lives.

Skebee desu!

so befriend one..with same hair colour, nationality etc...

get HIS name and adress....

and hey presto!!

If you're white you should give up.
If you're Japanese go for it.

You sound like you've had eperience with that.

Yes, please.

My parents met each other at a banquet while working for the same company. My father is 10 years older than my mother.

This may happen to me one day. I may find a cute 21 year old woman working at the same school I'm teaching at, whilst I'm 31.

This same theory does not mean that now, at the age of 21, I'm going to find a good amount of common ground with an 11 year old.

Original poster, you're dating a baby, sorry. Do you have any idea how many times I've heard the validation, "But she's mature for a (11-16) year old." Just because they're mature for their age doesn't mean they're mature for you big guy.

You can take him away now officer.

Theres really nothing wrong with it, until you said that you both have sexual intentions with each other. She is a 16 year old, do you think she's mature enough? Kids these days doesnt know what they are doing, so you, as an adult should teach her how to wait. You can continue your relationship, but wait for her. I'm telling you, if you have sex, your love for each other will never be the same as before.

I just can't see anything wrong with it, besides the sex, which you really should wait for. I think I've said before that love defies all barriers, physical, mental or societal. If they truly love each other, then leave them alone and stop attempting to undermine their relationship with close-minded talk (to those of you who seem like you're trying doing this).

Very well said.

To the original poster:
If you two are truly in love, do what feels right. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Know that you truly love this person and having sex will bring you closer to them, not just give you pleasure one night and end up tossing them aside. Hell, I've never been in love. But from what I've heard love transcends anything.

You can't be too sure yourself. She really may know what she's doing, and that love may actually be true love, even if we have nothing to prove or disprove it. The only reason I see for a 16 year old girl to be infatuated by a guy that's 24 years old is if he was some sort of popular celebrity or rock star.

But I agree with you about the part of this being a sensitive and personal subject, not to mention wrong in the sex aspect.

You know that most teenagers today get pregnant because they thought that they love their partner so much and that they thought that that guy will love them forever. It's stupid but it's true. This 16 year old is no different. This is not love if theres sex metioned.

Now now, sex is a form of love. It doesn't necessarily mean that they just want to have sex either. However, she is too young at the moment, that's for sure.

Ok, I was off about the first thing, but think about this. If this guy was just using her for the sex, he'd have NOT taken the time to ask this question, and most likely would have already done it. Atleast he's somewhat valiant and mature enough to ask first ;]

Not always. For many people, sex is just a form of fun which is fueled by the body's desire to reproduce. Don't go thinking that's it's all about love, because it's not.