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-   -   Is it possible for young people to love? (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/21583-possible-young-people-love.html)

ThirdSight 12-14-2008 09:14 PM

I can only agree so much. Those blaming hormones for "young love" going haywire, if they get off the ground at all, doesn't get the whole picture. Even so, hormones are still relevant, even if they don't take up the entirety of the frame.

And yes, you're right, hormones start and stop at different ages for different people, but there's a blanket amount of time where the most people are going through hormone changes, which usually ranges anwhere between 13-19 years of age. It just depends on when you hit those changes, like you said.

iPhantom 12-14-2008 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdSight (Post 644960)
I think MMM is using the whole suicide thing to paint an example of how extreme the hormonal changes are in young teens, Misa.

So what, it doesn't mean teenagers are high unlikely to love. It just means love has a bigger impact on them.

It's not teen only who have this puppy love, adults as well, and they might have it more. There is an age when you start to look for somebody to create a family. How many people marry without experiencing true love between them? A lot. Same goes for teens. A teen can experience love the same as an adult. Love does not need experience, it's a sudden emotion that affects people. Teenagers hormone level is so high they have a bigger sexual attraction, though love exists in teens too.

At every age love exists imo, it's just that it's experienced in a different way but it has its basic form and feeling.

ThirdSight 12-14-2008 09:22 PM

Love has such a big impact on younger people because they don't know how to interpret their hormones because they're less experienced with dealing with love.

And yeah, we can say that anyone can experience love at any age, but what we're really trying to get at here is if we can actually define young love as actual love, whatever that may be.

iPhantom 12-14-2008 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdSight (Post 644969)
Love has such a big impact on younger people because they don't know how to interpret their hormones because they're less experienced with dealing with love.

And yeah, we can say that anyone can experience love at any age, but what we're really trying to get at here is if we can actually define young love as actual love, whatever that may be.

We have adult love and teen love. Where do you put actual love? I'd say those are sub-categories of the main one...

So yes young people can love...

If the first poster intended to say if they can experience love like adults, no, absolutely not, if you're an adult and deep in love you probably think of spending your life with this person, while if a teen you think 100 times because you have a long life ahead and you have still to live it (free). I don't think being tied with a person for 60-70 years is a good idea :mtongue:

Keaton421 12-14-2008 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acidreptile (Post 644829)
And what is love?

Baby, don't hurt me.

I believe that maturity is the most important. It can make up for a lack of experience, whereas experience can't make up for a lack of maturity. Experience comes from things other than relationships - if you're mature, you can handle most of what comes your way.

I don't think I was capable of romantic love when I was 13, or at least I certainly wasn't mature enough.

iPhantom 12-14-2008 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keaton421 (Post 644976)
I don't think I was capable of romantic love when I was 13, or at least I certainly wasn't mature enough.

You don't need to be mature for love. Dangerous love is immature :D , but it's still love.

MMM 12-14-2008 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMisa (Post 644955)
The majority of 16 year olds probably aren't even in a relationship, and the majority will have not attempted suicide. I think people do underestimate teenagers, you are saying that more teenagers attempt to commit suicide over a boyfriend than adults, and that may be true, but by no stretch of the imagination is it the majority of teenagers so why is it that they are classed as being unable to feel love?

If the majority of teenagers committed suicide over a boyfriend then that might hold water, but the fact is most do realise that life goes on, therefore in my opinion the majority would be able to experience love and not just 'puppy love.' I don't even know what puppy love is supposed to be.

Like I said, there are a number of reasons why teenage relationships don't generally last, not just their capacity to love one another.

You don't have to be in a relationship to think you are in love with someone. I never said the majority of teenagers try to commit suicide, I said that it is more likely to happen with teens, though, and "smaller" things will trigger it.
My point is that teens are still developing. This is due to biology and due to experience. I am not stating my feelings on the situation, but what is scientific fact. Again, this doesn't make teenagers any less valuable or their feelings any less real (if anything their feelings are MORE "real" because they tend to be more intense).

The reason teenage relationships don't last is because teens don't know themselves well enough to be a reliable partner in a relationship. The reason for this is, again, both developmental and due to experience.

You don't know if you like strawberry ice cream until you have tried it. As you develop, though, you might LOVE strawberry ice cream one day, and a week later it doesn't taste so good. That is normal.

It's funny for me to read about teens that have had "long term relationships" that have lasted 2 years. In the real world 2 years isn't that long a time, and is the minimum amount of time you should be with someone before even considering marriage (in my opinion).

Don't feel attacked, Misa, as I am not attacking you or teenagers. Though if you do feel attacked, just know that makes you a very normal healthy teenager.

Kajitsu 12-14-2008 11:33 PM

[cries for five minutes straight]

[sigh]

Yes, it does exist. It's just that some people feel it more and can commit to it.
To be heartbroken at thirteen, twice within two weeks, a feeling that still exists in her today... To have the friend that saved her turn away, to be left alone as a last resort.

These things do not get better with time; we just get used to them.

Salvanas 12-14-2008 11:44 PM

Firstly: Tyrien. I said I'm mentally mature for my age. But I have never in my life thought that I'm in life. Because by using my maturity and my logic, I know for a fact that I don't have the experience to know what love is. And I know I won't for years to come.

Misa + others: Sure, there are SOME instances where it happens. But, the question is, how many of them are still together? Seeing the statistics of modern day divorces, I'd say not very high.

MMM 12-14-2008 11:47 PM

From the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

Early marriage is a key predictor of later divorce. Nearly half of people
who marry under age 18 and 40 percent under age 20 end up divorced. It's
only 24 percent for people who marry after age 25.


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