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boinky78 12-14-2008 09:22 AM

Is it possible for young people to love?
 
Do you think it's possible for someone in their teens to truly love their boyfriend or girlfriend?because alot of people don't...because I believe I do love my ex :| but a lot of people tell me it's just puppy love

Ronin4hire 12-14-2008 09:26 AM

Deleted......

Ronin4hire 12-14-2008 09:26 AM

Truly love?

What is it to "truly" love?

Love is an emotion like anger, sadness etc. To "truly" experience it is a given in my opinion.

Unless you believe that teens fake their love... which I would say is untrue as I was a teenager myself once :D

EDIT- Sorry for double post... my computer froze up and I clicked on submit again.

boinky78 12-14-2008 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire (Post 644791)
Truly love?

What is it to "truly" love?

Love is an emotion like anger, sadness etc. To "truly" experience it is a given in my opinion.

Unless you believe that teens fake their love... which I would say is untrue as I was a teenager myself once :D

people say sometimes young people might confuse love with lust
like my ex bf he said he loved me(clearly that was a lie)
and a month after breakingup with me hes inlove with another girl
I think its just"O that persons really cute and nice and I like how they touch me blah balh I'm inlove"maybe thats what it is sometimes

Ronin4hire 12-14-2008 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boinky78 (Post 644793)
people say sometimes young people might confuse love with lust
like my ex bf he said he loved me(clearly that was a lie)
and a month after breakingup with me hes inlove with another girl
I think its just"O that persons really cute and nice and I like how they touch me blah balh I'm inlove"maybe thats what it is sometimes

I see... Then I think that's a language usage issue with the word love on your ex-boyfriends part.. either that or he's got some sort of condition. Like bi-polar or something :D

boinky78 12-14-2008 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire (Post 644794)
I see... Then I think that's a language usage issue with the word love on your ex-boyfriends part.. either that or he's got some sort of condition. Like bi-polar or something :D

he might be bi-polar thats a reasonable assumption

MissMisa 12-14-2008 09:46 AM

I think so. I mean, why not? Some people say they are emotionally confused and all this, but what would they know. I don't think there is any set age for something as random and complex as love is.

MMM 12-14-2008 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMisa (Post 644797)
I don't think there is any set age for something as random and complex as love is.

Well...there kind of is.

As I asked on another thread recently...

Many people have a "love of their life" at 16. How many of those people are still with that same person at 26?

"Love of their life"..."can't imagine life without them"...

This is called "part of growing up" and it is "puppy love".

EVERYONE thinks they are immune to it, and NO ONE is. 16, 17, 18...these are still formative years...what you think is love on Monday is a jerk on Thursday..why? because of hormones, growth, body changes...that is life.

If I would have read my own words above when I was 17 I would have said "This old man doesn't know what he is talking about...he doesn't know MY situation."

Everyone goes through it...that's the way life goes.

MissMisa 12-14-2008 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 644799)
Well...there kind of is.

As I asked on another thread recently...

Many people have a "love of their life" at 16. How many of those people are still with that same person at 26?

"Love of their life"..."can't imagine life without them"...

This is called "part of growing up" and it is "puppy love".

EVERYONE thinks they are immune to it, and NO ONE is. 16, 17, 18...these are still formative years...what you think is love on Monday is a jerk on Thursday..why? because of hormones, growth, body changes...that is life.

If I would have read my own words above when I was 17 I would have said "This old man doesn't know what he is talking about...he doesn't know MY situation."

Everyone goes through it...that's the way life goes.

Well, I disagree. Everyone seems to blame hormones but I don't think that completely clouds your whole mental stability or sense of reason.

Salvanas 12-14-2008 01:45 PM

I disagree with you Misa.

Hormones or not, 16 is too young an age to understand the complexity of love. It's like claiming to be able to rule a country at the age 11.

MissMisa 12-14-2008 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas (Post 644808)
I disagree with you Misa.

Hormones or not, 16 is too young an age to understand the complexity of love. It's like claiming to be able to rule a country at the age 11.

That's fine, but I don't think so.

At 16 I don't believe everyone is hormonal and confused and emotionally unstable like a lot of people tend to make out. 16 year olds can experience complicated things, death of family members, divorce of parents, exam stress, etc, I think people underestimate them when it comes to dealing with feelings of love.

In my eyes, age never equals maturity. Only experience. And to deal with a relationship it needs to be handled with maturity, and maybe a little experience, but I don't believe it's solely dependent on experience alone. Maturity is taking onboard experience and learning from that. And I don't think that comes with age.

NinjaKazama 12-14-2008 02:20 PM

Listen Out Everyone!!!!
 
Everybody has their own definition of what love is!
soooo u can't argue the fact. If everyone loved people the same way everyone's love would be equivalent,,and there wouldn't be in progress within relationships...to be continued:vsign: :vsign: :vsign:

Salvanas 12-14-2008 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMisa (Post 644815)
That's fine, but I don't think so.

At 16 I don't believe everyone is hormonal and confused and emotionally unstable like a lot of people tend to make out. 16 year olds can experience complicated things, death of family members, divorce of parents, exam stress, etc, I think people underestimate them when it comes to dealing with feelings of love.

In my eyes, age never equals maturity. Only experience. And to deal with a relationship it needs to be handled with maturity, and maybe a little experience, but I don't believe it's solely dependent on experience alone. Maturity is taking onboard experience and learning from that. And I don't think that comes with age.

I disagree. Although Maturity is important, experience is more important.

If you've never felt love before in your life, how do you know it's love?

Acidreptile 12-14-2008 03:16 PM

And what is love?

Tyrien 12-14-2008 03:23 PM

Considering that true love is subjective I would say it's entirely possible. Most of the time you'll find that Teens are just ripe with infatuation and don't really know what they're feeling -- so it must be love.

It is possible though for a Teen to know what they're feeling and decide that it really is love, not just that it "must be" love. I know a few people who've been dating since highschool and still are together. Actually both have been together for over 4 years each, one longer than the other. Both are living together on their own and have been for about 2 years... again one longer than the other but that's beside the point. Both are also engaged and show no signs at all of breaking it off.

Does that prove anything? Not really it just shows theres an exception to what what's common. This goes back to trying to say that when you're 16 you're not old enough to know what you're thinking. That's stupid to try and make a sweeping statement like that. It's generally true teenagers are idiots. Most teenagers are white little spoiled brats who've never really had to "work" (part time job doesn't count...) in their lives and have everything handed to them. They don't know any better. There's always exceptions to the norm though.

Sutiiven 12-14-2008 03:25 PM

A pain in the arse bro .jk.Hell its been to long i can not even explain it :vsign:

MissMisa 12-14-2008 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas (Post 644826)
I disagree. Although Maturity is important, experience is more important.

If you've never felt love before in your life, how do you know it's love?

Well I think maturity is more important. You can have all the experience in the world but if you are too immature to use it properly it becomes worthless. At least if you are mature without too much experience you can go on common sense.

You don't know it's love, but what is love, like Tyrien said, is subjective. You can't tell someone they're not in love because you don't know how they feel. That's my take on it.

Salvanas 12-14-2008 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMisa (Post 644836)
Well I think maturity is more important. You can have all the experience in the world but if you are too immature to use it properly it becomes worthless. At least if you are mature without too much experience you can go on common sense.

You don't know it's love, but what is love, like Tyrien said, is subjective. You can't tell someone they're not in love because you don't know how they feel. That's my take on it.


A fair point there, I guess.

And you're right about that I can't say its not love, because the person may not feel the same. But then again, it's basically the same as religious miracles, isn't it? The person claims, for example, that they've seen god/jesus/virgin mary, but we don't believe it because we didn't see it.

I think my view on this is mainly obscured by the fact that, although being one, I don't mentally count myself as a teenager and I find that teenagers in whole are stupid annoying little brats.

MissMisa 12-14-2008 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas (Post 644837)

A fair point there, I guess.

And you're right about that I can't say its not love, because the person may not feel the same. But then again, it's basically the same as religious miracles, isn't it? The person claims, for example, that they've seen god/jesus/virgin mary, but we don't believe it because we didn't see it.

I think my view on this is mainly obscured by the fact that, although being one, I don't mentally count myself as a teenager and I find that teenagers in whole are stupid annoying little brats.

Yeah, I guess.

Thing is, being a teen myself, I get lumped in the with the rest of them. I know a lot of teens that are very mature and care a lot about the world. It's just the 'bad' kids that stand out to everyone, and obviously, we are surrounded by teenagers all the time, being ones ourselves and there are some superficial spoilt brats. But then I look at the wider picture, and I see there are adults like that too.

When I go on forums and don't disclose my age, they often think I am a lot older than I actually am. Most people would take that as a compliment, but it's just sad that people can't see past the age barrier.

KikiBunny23 12-14-2008 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMisa (Post 644839)
Yeah, I guess.

Thing is, being a teen myself, I get lumped in the with the rest of them. I know a lot of teens that are very mature and care a lot about the world. It's just the 'bad' kids that stand out to everyone, and obviously, we are surrounded by teenagers all the time, being ones ourselves and there are some superficial spoilt brats. But then I look at the wider picture, and I see there are adults like that too.

When I go on forums and don't disclose my age, they often think I am a lot older than I actually am. Most people would take that as a compliment, but it's just sad that people can't see past the age barrier.

True true. I know I can be like a 'bad' kid sometimes...but like everyone I know says...I'm an angel compared to my sister(s) and brother.

On the topic of love::I'm not sure which is more valuable, experience or maturity. Because on one hand, if you had experience, you would have experienced different feelings and if just one stood out, maybe that one would be love, maybe not. Though if you had maturity, you could use common sense to figure it out.
Though I guess...it's better to have both.

superheel 12-14-2008 04:33 PM

Yes they can love. But True Love? No.

tocrayzay 12-14-2008 04:37 PM

yes it is possible. i know plenty of high school sweethearts who've gotten married and still are, my friends parents have been together since they were 15/16 got married straight out of high school (been about 24 years now i think maybe more) and are still married and going strong. my best friend has been with her bf since they were 15 and 16 and are still together they even have a child together, and live together. so yeah it can happen and i agree with Misa it all depends on the maturity level of the parties involved

MissMisa 12-14-2008 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tocrayzay (Post 644851)
yes it is possible. i know plenty of high school sweethearts who've gotten married and still are, my friends parents have been together since they were 15/16 got married straight out of high school (been about 24 years now i think maybe more) and are still married and going strong. my best friend has been with her bf since they were 15 and 16 and are still together they even have a child together, and live together. so yeah it can happen and i agree with Misa it all depends on the maturity level of the parties involved

Yeah exactly... there are so many examples of strong relationships from teenage years, yet people still dismiss that. Of course more relationships break up then, but there are a ton of reasons for that, not the fact that teenagers can't experience love.

iPhantom 12-14-2008 05:03 PM

"Welcome to Love Terms of Service, bla bla bla"

x - I certify that I'm an adult and agree with terms of service

Agree Button Disagree Button


8D

thalia4 12-14-2008 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boinky78 (Post 644789)
Do you think it's possible for someone in their teens to truly love their boyfriend or girlfriend?because alot of people don't...because I believe I do love my ex :| but a lot of people tell me it's just puppy love

TRUE L:rheart: VE hummmm...

iPhantom 12-14-2008 05:21 PM

I disagree... love is for everyone who has enough brain to contain that emotion.

ThirdSight 12-14-2008 07:04 PM

I doubt love has much to do with hormones, insofar as the young age between 14-18 is concerned. I do think young love is probable, but highly unlikely.

Love isn't about age or experience, it's about life. So when younger people say they're in love when they haven't had a whole lot of life yet, they can't comprehend the definition of love.

Though I do agree with what was written earlier: everyone has their own definition of love. However, there is one universal to love that forms the basis of everyone's "personal definition".

Love is both a noun and verb simultaneously. If you cannot wrap your head around this basic and fundamental idea, then you cannot begin to comprehend what love could be. Therefore, if you're 16 and you fully understand that, then it's possible for you to really be in love, though as mentioned earlier, it's highly unlikely.

Aota 12-14-2008 07:42 PM

I really have two different ways of describing love.

First one being, clearly, Ella Fitzgerald's Let's Do It (Let's Fall in Love). Says it all for some.

Second being a more personal definition. Protection, comfort, warmth, happiness, and just an all-around clear feeling of joy. I figure that to be love.

What's the difference betweenst maturity and experience? One person could say, "I'm a mature person. I can spot out the difference between real love and puppy love because I've got a clear head on my shoulders," compared to "I'm an experienced person. I can spot out the difference between real love and puppy love because I've seen it all..." Really, what is the difference between them?

ThirdSight 12-14-2008 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aota (Post 644918)
What's the difference betweenst maturity and experience? One person could say, "I'm a mature person. I can spot out the difference between real love and puppy love because I've got a clear head on my shoulders," compared to "I'm an experienced person. I can spot out the difference between real love and puppy love because I've seen it all..." Really, what is the difference between them?

Experience is a sort of time-stamp on how long you've been here, with a dash of action. Stay in doors all day, even though you've lived to be 75, and you might not be too experienced.

Maturity is a form of mental age in comparision with biological age. That's why people will use the phrase, "You're mature for your age," if they're talking about, let's say, a 17 year old thinking on par with a 19 or 20 year old. This can also work in reverse too, as some people, myself included, can act younger than their age suggests. At the same time, if we're going to use myself as the guinea pig, I can at mature about a great deal of things, on par with people who are 25 or 26 (being 21 myself), but at other times I can act younger, around the age of 17 or younger. Maturity isn't a blanket statement about someone, but more on how they approach certain things.

mangafreak 12-14-2008 07:58 PM

true love
 
I would say so...I mean, I know some girls who just randomly "go out" with almost anyone that asks them, and I don't think that's right. They just like saying they have a boyfriend. But I do think that it's definitely possible, just not common among really young people. But its annoying when people say "Oh, it's just puppy love", or "they're just teenagers acting stupid again.":chikasfrown:

Tyrien 12-14-2008 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas (Post 644837)


I think my view on this is mainly obscured by the fact that, although being one, I don't mentally count myself as a teenager and I find that teenagers in whole are stupid annoying little brats.

Hate to word it this way but isn't a little hypocritical then to take the stance that age = maturity when it comes to relationships? I mean if you consider yourself mentally an adult but legally you're not... seems kind of hard to me to grasp the logic. :/

MMM 12-14-2008 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMisa (Post 644815)
That's fine, but I don't think so.

At 16 I don't believe everyone is hormonal and confused and emotionally unstable like a lot of people tend to make out. 16 year olds can experience complicated things, death of family members, divorce of parents, exam stress, etc, I think people underestimate them when it comes to dealing with feelings of love.

In my eyes, age never equals maturity. Only experience. And to deal with a relationship it needs to be handled with maturity, and maybe a little experience, but I don't believe it's solely dependent on experience alone. Maturity is taking onboard experience and learning from that. And I don't think that comes with age.

How many 16 year olds are still will the "love of their life" at 26?

I didn't say "hormonal and confused" but there is no denying that a teens body is going through mental and physical alterations during this time. Things just SEEM bigger...that is science. It doesn't make teenagers stupid, it makes them teenagers. This is why teens attempt suicide more when their boyfriend breaks up with them or they fail a test (I am not saying ALL TEENS do this)...it's the brain isn't fully developed to fairly register the impact of events in their lives, and without a lot of experience it is sometimes hard to see that "life goes on".

Acidreptile 12-14-2008 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 644927)
How many 16 year olds are still will the "love of their life" at 26?

I didn't say "hormonal and confused" but there is no denying that a teens body is going through mental and physical alterations during this time. Things just SEEM bigger...that is science. It doesn't make teenagers stupid, it makes them teenagers. This is why teens attempt suicide more when their boyfriend breaks up with them or they fail a test (I am not saying ALL TEENS do this)...it's the brain isn't fully developed to fairly register the impact of events in their lives, and without a lot of experience it is sometimes hard to see that "life goes on".

Very well said MMM.

ThirdSight 12-14-2008 08:20 PM

I agree with MMM, in that hormones play a vital role to defining what "young love" actually is. Contrariwise, I agree with Misa in that experience and maturity also play a vital role in the self definition of what love is for the individual and their partner.

But who said we had to live in a binary system? It's both.

Love is a biological function as well as a mental and emotional operation. Giving chocolates, for example, is an emotional way of showing you care for someone, and chocolate itself contains chemicals that release endorphans (sweetGodI'mnotabiologistandIknowthat'satypo) that give the impression of being in love. Misguided love or misinterpreted love may be an imbalance with endorphans(againI'mnobiologist) combined with the lack of experience to personally define what love is for them, not having any personal evidence to cite from. It's a fine line, but it's a complicated process, one of which younger people just can't wrap their heads around, mainly because, in a sort of begging the question, they're too caught up in their love to understand that it may not be that which they're claiming it to be.

I wish there were a simple answer to this, and I wish I knew how to spell endorphans(:( ).

Aota 12-14-2008 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdSight (Post 644936)
I wish I knew how to spell endorphans(:( ).

Wish granted! Endorphins. Pays to have psychology credits. :]]

Although, I know what they mean, I don't understand how they aren't very different from each other in terms of love and affection. The differences just seem too trivial to me.

ThirdSight 12-14-2008 08:36 PM

Endorphins (amazing!) just give off the sensation of being in love; after that juncture it's the individuals interpretation of the chemical reaction in his/her own body.

Once again, I'm no biologist, so take all this with a grain of salt.

AnimeBaby112 12-14-2008 08:36 PM

I think it is.
I am 15 years old and i had a boyfriend for a year, we were both very mature for our ages and yes i did love him.

I recently read a true story in the paper, it was about two very young children who fell in love and later found each other 50 years later and married.

I think that anyone can feel love, it is like any emotion and you don't have to "grow up" to feel it.

MissMisa 12-14-2008 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 644927)
How many 16 year olds are still will the "love of their life" at 26?

I didn't say "hormonal and confused" but there is no denying that a teens body is going through mental and physical alterations during this time. Things just SEEM bigger...that is science. It doesn't make teenagers stupid, it makes them teenagers. This is why teens attempt suicide more when their boyfriend breaks up with them or they fail a test (I am not saying ALL TEENS do this)...it's the brain isn't fully developed to fairly register the impact of events in their lives, and without a lot of experience it is sometimes hard to see that "life goes on".

The majority of 16 year olds probably aren't even in a relationship, and the majority will have not attempted suicide. I think people do underestimate teenagers, you are saying that more teenagers attempt to commit suicide over a boyfriend than adults, and that may be true, but by no stretch of the imagination is it the majority of teenagers so why is it that they are classed as being unable to feel love?

If the majority of teenagers committed suicide over a boyfriend then that might hold water, but the fact is most do realise that life goes on, therefore in my opinion the majority would be able to experience love and not just 'puppy love.' I don't even know what puppy love is supposed to be.

Like I said, there are a number of reasons why teenage relationships don't generally last, not just their capacity to love one another.

ThirdSight 12-14-2008 09:05 PM

I think MMM is using the whole suicide thing to paint an example of how extreme the hormonal changes are in young teens, Misa.

MissMisa 12-14-2008 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThirdSight (Post 644960)
I think MMM is using the whole suicide thing to paint an example of how extreme the hormonal changes are in young teens, Misa.

I know but I think hormones are irrelevant. That's what I was trying to say. There is a broad spectrum of teenage, from 13 to 19, hormonal changes are all totally different and no-ones are the same. To say that hormones stop someone from feeling real love is not something I agree with.

Your hormones are not constantly crazy between 13-19, there is a point where it levels out and that is different for everyone.


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