Japanese girls turned off by muscle?
 

Well, I spent a year in Japan and I must say I was disappointed that I never had a relationship when I was there. I saw so many of my friends get girlfriends in no time but there I was having no luck. I'm a short guy but I'm pretty good looking and I have a muscular build. Also, I do have pretty bad cauliflower ears. I got them from doing jiujitsu and I slacked off and never got them drained so it is possible that they are intimidated by that? I'm not sure if this is true but my buddy said my problem may be that I don't fit the Japanese girl's standard of beauty. Its quite a shock for me because in the states I find that girls prefer muscular over skinny. I always assumed it was true for Japan as well.

That is what it looks like, that is pretty severe mine isn't as bad but its definitely noticeable.

I got it from years of doing jiu jitsu. What happens is my ear gets roughed up against the mat and when pulling out of headlocks. Basically a blood clot forms under the ear's skin. It sucks because most women think I am just deformed or something.

I have to agree with mellowdramattic.
As J-Rock and J-Pop is very popular, the artists are going
to be what appeals to most young Japanese women.
(Generally) And the artists themselves are very feminine looking.

I think that as long as you're not a freak... you can get a girlfriend anywhere in the world. Maybe the problem isn't your looks but your approach.

People don't just become a couple via looks alone. You need to get to know someone and have a connection that goes beyond physical attraction in my opinion. Unless you're a "playa" that is... but "playas" have a certain type of persona which judging from your post is something that you don't have. (Neither do I) :D

I agree it takes having a connections to get any girl or guy, not just looks alone. But looking good is a nice thing. and maybe they are into Jrocker bods but I'am sure there are some that are in to the more muscular builds.

I`d say muscles aren`t very high on the list when it comes to the general idea of attractiveness... But there are of course women who love them.

I`d say that your behavior is going to make a big difference - even more so than your looks. So try to figure out what you`re doing that`s "wrong" before you blame things on your appearance.

The thing about muscles just makes American girls look shallow...but Japanese girls like slim, beautiful guys, so that would have to be considered shallow too if you think that way...hahahah.

Yeah, I don't think Japanese women care too much about muscular guys. I've never seen a Japanese girl with a buff guy, by the way.

Good job thats not my intention when I go over then!

I'm 5'5"
Muscular build but with massive beer belly (took lots of hard work and dedication to obtain! im proud of it)
I wiegh just under 185lbs
Stubbley beard/goatee when I'm not working..

And you've all seen my pics :p

might aswell have bakagaijin tatted on my forehaed.

:D

Hahahahahahahahah, sorry, that just made me crack up so bad.

I think it's a mistake to think that Japanese women are turned off by muscle just because generally it's not as high a priority for them with regards to appearance compared with Western women. (Is that even an accurate generalisation to begin with? Nyororin or someone else with more knowledge than me please help me out.)

The androgynous J-rock thing might be popular for some but I don't think it suits some.

That's what I was saying. It's not necessarily a turn-off, but it's definitely not top priority, go go go, find big tuff guy, rape him. :D Joking.

My top 3 guesses:

1.) Being really buff kinda went out in the 90's, leaner muscular with less mass, and more definition is what I think more women look for now days.

2.) I'd have to agree with my buddy Ronin4Hire, your approach is important. Some American guys are really flashy, or cocky and that's not really a good look in Japan.

3.) Maybe you haven't found "The One" There are plenty of fish out there you just have to be patient, and let them come to you. :vsign:

dude, theres nothing funny about rape.

Unless your being raped by a clown.

1.) Agreed.

2.) Agreed x2.

3.) Agreed x3.

All of those points are important, especially rule number 3, which states that you just haven't found that special person yet. Also, if you apply to number 2, get your act together. In our culture, Asian girls expect you to approach them, but not with you flexing and flashing. :D

Lmao, I think that would just scar me for life.

Gahahahah, great advice.

Yeah, i imagine thats pretty much how it'd sound.

Yeah I've dated plenty of girls Japanese, among others, and your "swagger" really counts in those situations. I dated this one girl who thought that all "buff" guys are prone to violance, so they sterotype Americans too.

Can't stop the stereotypes wherever you go, but Japanese people hold them particularly literal.

thats because I'm not an @sshole in decent company :)

The problem isn't how you look, it's how you approached them and the impression you made on them. When I was in Japan, I weighed 100 pounds more than I do now. I'm not ugly, but always had a way of talking with women. So my looks didn't play a major part in my getting a girlfriend. I had many girlfriends there, and my long term girlfriend (3 years, but she wanted to stay in Japan and I wanted to come home eventually) was a famous belly dancer who guys hit on everyday. The point is that women are more interested in other things than looks. Improve your self esteem and watch what happens.:ywave:

It's hard to generalize what a Japanese girl finds attractive but from my experience, they currently like men who are almost borderline feminine. Slender build, fair complexion, no facial hair, etc.

But either way, there's a lot more to picking up a girl than fitting that stereotype. If you speak Japanese and make the right moves, you should be able to pick up most of the girls in Japan... providing you're not too picky. ie. Some girls like the OL's in Ginza will take some extra effort... like an Amex Black card. ;)

OL's? I can't do acronyms..

Are you saying japanese ladies are afraid of masculinity? I don't understand..

OL=oeru=office lady

OL = Office Lady.

I guess I should have used the word androgynous instead of borderline feminine.

We have a word for that, its called Metrosexual.

pretending to be a gay when your not in order to get women.

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actually a japanese guy asked me (im korean, by birth but raised by swedish mannors) why korean girls prefer muscular guys.

maybe you went to the wrong country? =P i dont have much trouble with catching japanese girls attention tho.. being quite slim and having broad shoulders xD alltho some treat me like a pet oO

I thought all women everwhere were normal and had looks that they go for not one race of women stuck just to one look we all have thoughts and ideals of how we all want men and women to look like and its not just specified to one category, at least that's what I think :)

Japanese pop singers tend to be on the skinny side, and obviously v-kei guys are pretty androgynous, but that doesn't mean these are only types of guys Japanese women like.

I do know very "normal" Japanese girls that like burly men (v-kei is NOT popular among the mass majority). Surfer girls seem to like guys with a little more meat on their bones. Maybe you should be hanging out at the beach.

(And Al and Mutsu, what are you guys doing up so early/late?)

I wish the world was that simple but usually its the media that sets the standard for beauty. For example, imagine if we were brought up reading magazines and watching TV shows that depicted fat women as beautiful. We'd have a completely different view on what is beautiful. Instead most Americans like thin or average sized girls with big breasts because that is what we see on TV commercials, ads, etc.

Also, I actually do not have low self esteem but I don't think I'm cocky either. I've seen some guys with lower self esteem get a girlfriend in less than a month. I really just think I was meeting the wrong people, maybe I just have bad luck...

Well as I said all women have what they think is hot or sexy they all have different minds. So, what one thinks is good isnt always what the other thinks is hot. Usually our standards are set by what we read in mags and see on tv, but they still have what they like and Im just sayin not every girl is the same, I bet you can find a Japanese women who thinks muscular men are sexy or a man with a bigger build is sexy. Id say every woman sets her own standards even if most are influenced by what they read or see. Im sure theres someone whos for you. As we are all different and even the most unattractive men get hot ladies so I think its easier if you go where you can find them as some have stated in the thread :)

So I have to get skinny? I was going the wrong way. OK, I'll get skinnieh. Wait, how to get skinny >.>

losing wheight is away to start =p

But how to lose muscle >.> I've got no problem with weight.

stop eating proteinshakes? :P cause you dont get big enough to get "not skinny" if you eat stuff like that. or if you're just big boned, tough luck ;3

Maybe you should start looking for Korean girls. ;)

I appreciate your concern... I had to see a lady friend out so I could get some sleep ;)

Well what can I say the work day starts at 7 :rolleyes: