My Book. - Page 3

QueenNanami · (#21 (**permalink**))

Your story is pretty good so far! Only one part has been bugging me.

Beside Adrow sits a kid; the kid’s name is Kasaki, Kasaki Yuro son of the one who has just been killed. Tears run down Kasaki’s face in his hand he holds a knife with blood dripping down the sides of it. “Dad….” are the only silent words that come from Kasaki’s lips.

Where it says a kid. Wouldnt it sound better if it said a child? I really like it so far

MazarDantechildofdevil · (#22 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Where it says a kid. Wouldnt it sound better if it said a child? I really like it so far

Yes, I think it would thank you.

Quote:

Mazar - I've started reading your story and its quite good. Would you be ok if I were to give a critique on it and any tips that I may have collected over the years?

It doesn't bother me it would be ok.

MazarDantechildofdevil · (#23 (**permalink**))

ALRIGHT!

THE SECOND CHAPTER IS COMING SOON! I'm sorry I haven't gotten it by now but i've been caught up, and I already have 11 chapters written so I'm not just lagging!..Lol Well it'll come very soon hopefully tommorrow the 11.

MazarDantechildofdevil · (#24 (**permalink**))

This afternoon it's coming out..So yay.