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-   -   In love with a young girl (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/relationship-talk/21383-love-young-girl.html)

Sangetsu 12-09-2008 04:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keaton421 (Post 640342)
How do you even meet a 16 year old and start dating her?


It's quite easy actually. I once met a woman in a night club who turned out to be only 15. It was an over 18 club, and she told me she was 19. I was carded at the club each time I went in, so I assumed she was telling me the truth. Several weeks passed before I finally found out her real age.

Arikado 12-09-2008 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 641512)
In the 1920s grown men were not encouraged to pursue 16 year old girls. Know what the average age of marriage for women in the US was in 1900? 22. For men it was 25.

So if you want to look back a couple thousand years, yes women were married at 12 and 13, but in a society where the life expectancy is under 40 years old, this makes more sense.

Regardless, it doesn't negate the fact that 16-year-olds are not yet fully mature, physically or emotionally.

When the question is "Should I have sex with a 16 year old girl?" the safe answer is always "No!"

Young girls marrying older men dates less than a couple of centuries ago. It was customary for girls, even as young as 12 and 13 to be married to a middle aged man, as he would be experienced enough to take care of her and have a steady income.

ThirdSight 12-09-2008 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arikado (Post 641544)
Young girls marrying older men dates less than a couple of centuries ago. It was customary for girls, even as young as 12 and 13 to be married to a middle aged man, as he would be experienced enough to take care of her and have a steady income.

Key word there.

Amazing what 200+ years will do to a given culture.

MMM 12-09-2008 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arikado (Post 641544)
Young girls marrying older men dates less than a couple of centuries ago. It was customary for girls, even as young as 12 and 13 to be married to a middle aged man, as he would be experienced enough to take care of her and have a steady income.

Does that still seem like a good idea to you today?

Arikado 12-09-2008 05:07 AM

Whoa whoa guys, I was stating a fact. Did it look like I was trying to make a point? I was just correcting your facts, that's all.

MMM 12-09-2008 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arikado (Post 641568)
Whoa whoa guys, I was stating a fact. Did it look like I was trying to make a point? I was just correcting your facts, that's all.

Of course it looked like you were trying to make a point.

Ronin4hire 12-09-2008 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 641426)
Simply put, a 16-year-old is still developing both physically and mentally, and that is part of the reason why there are laws in effect to protect not-fully mature individuals from adults that would take advantage of them.

You can say love is blind, and knows no age. That is fine, but how many of you here well over the age of 16 are still with the person you loved when you were 16?

As the brain and body mature, things change. Lots of girls regret not waiting until they were at least 18 before giving up their virginity, if only because the boy they thought they loved lost interest after she allowed him to sleep with her.

No matter how you look at it, there is no scenario where an older foreign man sleeping with a 16-year-old Japanese girl is a good idea.

I'm just nitpicking as I agree with your sentiment... I mean boundaries have to be set to protect minors in my opinion also.

However in some countries the age of consent is 16 (like here in New Zealand) so I don't think 18 is some magic number nor do I believe 16 year olds are completely unable to make an informed decision on sex.

In saying that though the boundary Japanese society has set is 18 and as a guest to Japan the OP would do well to respect that boundary.

MMM 12-09-2008 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire (Post 641585)
I'm just nitpicking as I agree with your sentiment... I mean boundaries have to be set to protect minors in my opinion also.

However in some countries the age of consent is 16 (like here in New Zealand) so I don't think 18 is some magic number nor do I believe 16 year olds are completely unable to make an informed decision on sex.

In saying that though the boundary Japanese society has set is 18 and as a guest to Japan the OP would do well to respect that boundary.

The law is only a part of what I was trying to say.

People can say "age is just a number" but if 16-year-olds are ready for sex, does that mean so are 14-year-olds? 12-year-olds? Do I need to keep going lower?

We KNOW that 16-year-olds are not fully mature individuals, physically and mentally. Research shows the completion of puberty at somewhere between 18 and 21 for the most part.

I will ask again. If you are over the age of 22, tell me honestly if you are still with the girl or boy you "loved" when you were 16. My educated guess would tell me that almost none of those relationships stood the test of time. Why? Because bodies are still changing. The brain is still growing. Hormones are flaring...the whole classic speech.

Ronin4hire 12-09-2008 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 641591)
The law is only a part of what I was trying to say.

People can say "age is just a number" but if 16-year-olds are ready for sex, does that mean so are 14-year-olds? 12-year-olds? Do I need to keep going lower?

We KNOW that 16-year-olds are not fully mature individuals, physically and mentally. Research shows the completion of puberty at somewhere between 18 and 21 for the most part.

I will ask again. If you are over the age of 22, tell me honestly if you are still with the girl or boy you "loved" when you were 16. My educated guess would tell me that almost none of those relationships stood the test of time. Why? Because bodies are still changing. The brain is still growing. Hormones are flaring...the whole classic speech.

You can't really go to much lower than 16 in my opinion (I think the lowest I heard about was in Denmark where it's apparently 15).

I hear what you're saying but there is another side to why we have the law at the age it is.

The idea is that while a boundary is needed to protect young girls from predatory men... one is also needed to protect full grown men from "hormone flaring" young girls.

A 16 year old actively seeking sex can appear fully developed and lie about her age to get what she wants.

Very few 14 year olds appear fully developed.

As for my 16 year old love life... Hehe... I dated a girl who I thought I was in love with sure.. but I dated women when I was 19, 24, and 26 who I thought I was in love with too.

Why are my 16 year old feelings not valid yet my 19, 24 and 26 year old ones are?

MMM 12-09-2008 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire (Post 641604)
You can't really go to much lower than 16 in my opinion (I think the lowest I heard about was in Denmark where it's apparently 15).

I hear what you're saying but there is another side to why we have the law at the age it is.

The idea is that while a boundary is needed to protect young girls from predatory men... one is also needed to protect full grown men from "hormone flaring" young girls.

A 16 year old actively seeking sex can appear fully developed and lie about her age to get what she wants.

Very few 14 year olds appear fully developed.

You are totally correct here. Though with make-up and nice clothes and almost any girl can look 18. The laws are there to protect teens from themselves, too...


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