Japanese kindness over-rated?

[Umihito]

So I've always heard non-stop one of the reasons people like Japan is because of the friendliness of its people.

However, one of the first things I noticed when I got there, right in Tokyo, was how unhelpful and unresponsive the average person was.

I asked the time, in Japanese, clearly. And only about 1 out of 3 people even stopped to answer. Even the one who stopped had body language that shouted 'have to go.' I mean, people rip on their own Western countries, but at least where I live most people actually stop to answer.

I don't mean to sound rantish here, and I'm sure it's just because Japanese are more shy than others. But the only people who even broke a smile were the ones who's job it was to smile, such as cashiers and receptionists.

I guess it must be a Tokyo thing... I did feel a friendlier vibe a bit further South.

But do you think the Japanese kindness that everyone is always so eager to promote is over-rated, or not in abundance? Does it depend on where you go, or where you come from for comparison?

[WingsToDiscovery]

Comparing it to my own country (America), level of politeness is leaps and bounds over compared to my homeland.
By itself, Japan has it's own friendly people, rude people, lazy people, just like anywhere else.
Many people have this idea that Japan is some "untouchable" country, but nobody is perfect.

[termogard]

Originally Posted by Umihito

But the only people who even broke a smile were the ones who's job it was to smile, such as cashiers and receptionists.

Hmmm.....it's rather strange to expect an American-style wide smile from busy japanese salarymen.

[dogsbody70]

I would imagine it would depend where you were when you approached somebody.

If it is in a busy town or city, its unlikely that all those in a hurry to get where they are going, will have time to stop to answer questions from a stranger,

I live in a small town and most often if I queried the time, someone would tell me, but anywhere where there are masses of people rushing around they seldom would stop.

Cities can be very lonely places regardless of where.

Also one can be suspicious of strangers who approach-- with so much marketing or canvassing on streets, one might want to avoid confronting anyone approaching.

[spicytuna]

It's definitely a city thing.

Regardless of whether you're in Toronto or Tokyo, something as simple as eye-contact can raise a red flag.

I mean, just look at how difficult it is for those young girls/guys (in front of the train stations) to hand out a free pack of tissue paper. 95% the commuters walk by them as though they don't exist.

FWIW, during one of my earlier visits to Japan, I was being super friendly as I stopped to talk to anyone who approached me. I think I got around 4 invitations to church/cult meetings within a week.

[nellie1208]

Yes! Japanese people are very kind and polite. And I find them hospitable too. Last time when I went to Japan, maybe that was when I was still a teenager, I encountered many japanese people. And they are all friendly. They are cheerful and do follow their tradition. They are all good!

[Ryzorian]

I would say it's a "Big City" thing. New York gets the same rap. It's what I call "Gerbil Syndrome". Gerbils become very aggressive and combative if too many live in a small area. It's essentially a fight for resources.

Country folk are friendlier...this is true in the US as well and probably most countries.

Though I also think Japan uses the "polite" thing as a fine art to debase and or insult others and get away with it. Like when you say something mean online and add a at the end or the tag line "No offense".

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by Umihito

So I've always heard non-stop one of the reasons people like Japan is because of the friendliness of its people.

However, one of the first things I noticed when I got there, right in Tokyo, was how unhelpful and unresponsive the average person was.

I asked the time, in Japanese, clearly. And only about 1 out of 3 people even stopped to answer. Even the one who stopped had body language that shouted 'have to go.' I mean, people rip on their own Western countries, but at least where I live most people actually stop to answer.

I don't mean to sound rantish here, and I'm sure it's just because Japanese are more shy than others. But the only people who even broke a smile were the ones who's job it was to smile, such as cashiers and receptionists.

I guess it must be a Tokyo thing... I did feel a friendlier vibe a bit further South.

But do you think the Japanese kindness that everyone is always so eager to promote is over-rated, or not in abundance? Does it depend on where you go, or where you come from for comparison?

I think you might be confusing kindness for politeness. Kindness is something that will vary from personality to personality, but politeness is one of the social norms of Japan, and I do not think Japanese politeness is in any way overrated.

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by nellie1208

Yes! Japanese people are very kind and polite. And I find them hospitable too. Last time when I went to Japan, maybe that was when I was still a teenager, I encountered many japanese people. And they are all friendly. They are cheerful and do follow their tradition. They are all good!

Nice comment Nellie

[Umihito]

I'm not a city guy, so I guess I had high expectations from what everyone says, and which is why I was probably let down. I'm not saying it's over-rated everywhere, as outside the city limits I was happy. But in Tokyo it's definitely over-rated. Still didn't experience the 'walk you to your destination' some people talk about when I asked directions in the place outside of Tokyo, but I wasn't expecting it anyway so no disappointment there.

Originally Posted by termogard

Hmmm.....it's rather strange to expect an American-style wide smile from busy japanese salarymen.

The businessmen I could understand, but it was everyone, even the casual men and women.

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

Also one can be suspicious of strangers who approach-- with so much marketing or canvassing on streets, one might want to avoid confronting anyone approaching.

Yeah, this was something else I suspected. My local city has this, but I still stop for them just in case it's a question.

Originally Posted by nellie1208

Yes! Japanese people are very kind and polite. And I find them hospitable too. Last time when I went to Japan, maybe that was when I was still a teenager, I encountered many japanese people. And they are all friendly. They are cheerful and do follow their tradition. They are all good!

Were the hospitable people you talk about the hotel staff? Because all hotel staff I've encountered all over the world are extremely hospitable. It's their job to be.

Originally Posted by RickOShay

I think you might be confusing kindness for politeness. Kindness is something that will vary from personality to personality, but politeness is one of the social norms of Japan, and I do not think Japanese politeness is in any way overrated.

No no, it's definitely the kindness as well as the politeness that's paraded around to tourists. But even so, their actions wouldn't be considered 'polite' either. I would consider only doing the next best thing to ignoring and shunning to be a little impolite.