Japanese kindness over-rated?

[JohnBraden]

I just want to add one thing. In Japan, I've experienced kindness and also polite courtesy. They are totally different things, yet they can be confused with each other.

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by JohnBraden

I just want to add one thing. In Japan, I've experienced kindness and also polite courtesy. They are totally different things, yet they can be confused with each other.

Oh I agree! But for us Western.. Politeness is no different than kindness. Kindness is more dependent on the person himself and their daily mood, but so is politeness. But I thing especially politeness good point, is a Nation thing and maybe we should call the Japanese to be much more polite then we are. Maybe the word kindness is not the right one, even though we shouldn't make it such a big deal..

Important for me personally is, that people don't try to tell others that Japanese are acting that way. They have been grown up that way and learned to Respect a fellow human being much more then our parents teach us. They have a different mindset then we are! Also the reason why Japanese or Asians don't freak out in public. It's a no-go in their mindset and unlike us they have a special kind of shyness and civility which isn't nearly as strong in most Western Nations.

[BobbyCooper]

Same reason why the Japanese do not cheer while watching a Sporting Event!

[JohnBraden]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Same reason why the Japanese do not cheer while watching a Sporting Event!

Come again?

[Ryzorian]

Well they do..but I think it has something to do with those sticks they slap together. Many nations differ on how they cheer thier team on..Europe they whistle when they disagree with a call...Where as in Philly they throw rocks, bottles, appliances and what have you when they do. Some folks in the Midwestern US like to use those cowbells at football games. Just like in South Africa they used those plastic horns...whatever they were called.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by BobbyCooper

Same reason why the Japanese do not cheer while watching a Sporting Event!

Well, that proves you`ve never been to a sporting event in Japan...

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Back to the original subject though...

I just want to add one thing. In Japan, I've experienced kindness and also polite courtesy. They are totally different things, yet they can be confused with each other.

I think this is where the problem arises. Apparently, people see the polite courtesy as "faking" kindness, or "acting" - which really makes no sense to me. Do they only want people to behave in a courteous manner when it was a truly heartfelt gesture? If you go into the world expecting that the only courtesy you will experience comes from the heart, you`ll find a lot of disappointment.

Is it an "act" if I am in a horribly bad mood, but force a smile and behave courteously instead of snapping at someone? I don`t believe there is any active deception going on there. It isn`t a black or white sort of thing - behaving courteously when you may not feel like it doesn`t mean that you`re concealing hatred or the like.

When you really come down to it - kindness itself means nothing without action. Saying thank you, even if it isn`t heartfelt, carries more weight than feeling incredibly thankful but saying nothing.

[JohnBraden]

Could it be, then, that kindness could be going out of your way to do something for someone and polite courtesy being doing something because one is pretty much confronted with the situation?

[WingsToDiscovery]

Originally Posted by JohnBraden

Could it be, then, that kindness could be going out of your way to do something for someone and polite courtesy being doing something because one is pretty much confronted with the situation?

Well yeah, that's pretty much the difference. Being kind is being truly nice. You don't have to be a nice person to be civil.

[rgordon82]

I have encountered not so kind people and kind people. I think some people just doesn't really care about other people and some are willing to help.

[BobbyCooper]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Well, that proves you`ve never been to a sporting event in Japan...

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Back to the original subject though...

Watch a PRIDE Fighting Championship Event and then watch a Ultimate Fighting Championship Event in the USA.

Pride ones was the biggest Sporting Event in Japan. The Tokyo Dome was always filled with 90.000 Japanese people. There was silence in the Tokyo Dome!!

Maybe it's not such a huge difference while watching Soccer.. but it's certainly a trend which stands out the most.

It's because of a different culture with very different manners.

I think this is where the problem arises. Apparently, people see the polite courtesy as "faking" kindness, or "acting" - which really makes no sense to me. Do they only want people to behave in a courteous manner when it was a truly heartfelt gesture? If you go into the world expecting that the only courtesy you will experience comes from the heart, you`ll find a lot of disappointment.

Is it an "act" if I am in a horribly bad mood, but force a smile and behave courteously instead of snapping at someone? I don`t believe there is any active deception going on there. It isn`t a black or white sort of thing - behaving courteously when you may not feel like it doesn`t mean that you`re concealing hatred or the like.

When you really come down to it - kindness itself means nothing without action. Saying thank you, even if it isn`t heartfelt, carries more weight than feeling incredibly thankful but saying nothing.

This might be true, but then Politeness comes back into play. Doing something without really meaning it, but because it is a social norm is the Japanese culture and their politness.

Now, some might critize this for some reason but I don't see why?!

Being Polite even and "kind" even though you would rather say "Fuck Off" in the Western Society, is much more of value in my point of view.

Humans lie every day multible times. We don't even realize the times we actually lie to each other.

If it prevents trouble and makes people be "Nice" to each, what the Japanese society shows, it's best thing people could do and we should take ourself and example to this Social norm.

You don't tell a fellow Human being to Fuck Off.. even if he annoys you. You just walk away or you stay kind like the Japanese do in a suprising high level.

Fights are prevent and many other terrible stuff which happens every day are prevented that exact way!

the truth always hurts the most! It's nothing wrong with being polite but not honest! It's a norm which should be followed to be Nice to each other and Respect each other.