Why do many japanese want to have white skin?

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by bELyVIS

Racism will always exists until we all mix to being one gray color (it's in progress already). Then they will find some other reason for hating. In my world all I judge people by is if you are a @$$hole or not. Nothing else matters to me.
As for choosing a partner, I had a black girlfriend before. She was beautiful, a model (beautiful inside as well). She broke up with me because her parents didn't like her dating a white guy. This is racism against me, but am I blaming the world about how unfair it is? No. Explain to me why many black women prefer to date white guys? I was told by several black women that it's because black men get what they want and leave the women, sometimes with a baby. They think white guys don't do this. Is this racism? Of course it is.
My choice for my wife was a Japanese lady. I was married to an American before and didn't like how I was treated. I feel that my second wife has the qualities I have been searching for all my life. She is very loving kind, smart, and independent with the right amount of submissiveness to let me feel like a man (no I don't abuse this, but it helps my ego a little. She gets her way most of the time). She knows that is just how I am, but it goes a long way when we need to cooperate. She knows how to push my buttons to get me to see her way. I'm not saying that there aren't other women in this world from other cultures or races that I might find these qualities, but I just happened to find it in her. Her race, skin color didn't matter.
My suggestion is to get over this chip you have on your shoulder. Life is too short to be a victim. You make your own future in spite of racist haters.

I'm sorry about your ex-girlfriend's family. :/ There's definitely a lot of racism against white people, and it's almost as if people are too afraid to stick up for their rights because then people will go around shouting "KKK!" (Even the idea of immediately calling a white person a member of the KKK is racist.)

What's funny is that I never really cared about racism, because I grew up on an island where I was surrounded by black people. I never had to think about being black. Then I left the island, and suddenly WHAM! I was being treated differently and seen differently than others just because of my skin color. People have told me, to my face, that I'm not beautiful because I'm black.

I'm a passionate person, and I'm young. People always tell me that when I'm in my 50s, I'll calm down and not give a shit about racism. (I hope not.) But for now, I'm 20 and I'm not willing to give up because of any kind of animosity. I want to get fair representation of women of color into the media. When I feel uncomfortable with something someone has said, I will tell them.

I do think of myself as a victim, but I also think of myself as a person who is willing to fight. I personally don't think that's a bad thing. That's just the way I live.

Good luck to you and your wife, you seem to really love her. =)

[Barone1551]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

It's funny that you cut off "in this lifetime." Racism still exists here in 2009. I'm sure you know that. Respect is entitled to every human being. It's called human rights. Society is evolving naturally. It's natural that oppressed people rebel and fight for their rights.

To say that white skin is better than black skin in anyway is racist. Period. I don't feel like I need to say that anymore.

Pretend for a moment that you're white in a world where you're not surrounded by people of your own race, and that you're constantly reminded of the color of your skin. Pretend for a moment that someone walks up to you and says, "My skin color is better than your skin color." Don't pretend for one moment that you wouldn't feel alienated and in pain, and don't pretend that you would be able to ignore that pain and move on.

It's not my identity crisis. It's called racism, and it plagues the world. Billions of people go through it everyday. It's not something to "chill out" about.

Questions for everyone, because I actually want to know what people will say:

Why is my skin not good enough to be a partner? Does the color of my skin indicate to you in some way that I'm less of a person, and so will have a child of less value? Does the color of my skin suggest that my uterus doesn't work, and that I won't be able to carry a child? Why is white skin a better option for a partner? Does white skin somehow mean that the person is smarter, and so the child will be smarter? Is it just that no one really wants to have a child that will have to suffer in this racist world?

And to continue with the questions: why is brown skin ugly? Is it because it reminds you of monkeys, or dirt, or something else unattractive? Is it because that's what your parents told you? Is it because on TV, you only see white women and men like Paris Hilton and Brad Pitt? Is brown skin ugly because, even now in 2009, it somehow suggests to you that people have been slaving away all day out in sun, and so must be of a less status than you? Is brown skin ugly because it means that the person must be a criminal? Does brown skin scare you because people of brown color are actually called "black," and black suggests something dark and evil, whereas "white" has always represented purity, innocence, and good? Or is it just because you're racist?

I'm curious. Please, anyone - explain why you prefer a white skinned partner.

OK first off, I'm not sure where in this thread personally attacked people another race for being an inadequate partner. And I will answer for myself when I say that no your skin tone does not make you any less of a human or mother. And to me personally it does not matter what skin tone you have to be my partner. But i still stand other statements made here, that just because you are not physically attracted to someone, this does not make you racist. And I fear that you are playing the victim here and in this world. Many people suffer racism, however you make it seem that you are the only one to have ever experienced racism, like its you against the world. And I know many people like that, from multiple races who will analyze everything to the death in order to pull out something "racist" and throw it back into the other persons face. And this to me is a problem, yes racism exists today. But it is not as one sided as it used to be. Like you said it is 2009, racism I feel, is felt by many people and many races. And I do not feel like it is as prevalent as it used to be. I have felt racism, and I have seen racism. Do I like it? no, not at all. But I do not feel the need to go looking around for it and calling out every hint of it I see. I thought the idea was to create unity by forgetting skin tone, race, culture. Or at least this is what I would prefer. But the thing I always notice with people in your mindset, that instead of blurring the line, you make it more noticeable and in your face. And in my opinion making it worse, because in the end you seem more racist (whether you are or not). By always calling out differences between you and the person you are conversing with. And to some of your other stuff. Like TV portraying white as the only good thing. Are you insane. It actually took me a second to think about this because I never really thought about it as a white or black competition, but I have to say that its ridiculous. There are just as many (in my opinion) wealthy successful African American actors and stars as there are white stars. And to think that there are not is to be ignorant.

And I'm not sure what your getting at about the fair skin being a sign of good and tan or darker skin a sign of bad. I'm pretty sure st. Thomas is the same as here, most people I know want to get tan. I don't know many people who want to stay pale ( I am one who wishes to get little sun). Why are tanning salons so popular if everyone is trying so hard to stay pale? I don't know how you can use this as an argument here in the US at least. I have never once heard someone compare tanning to becoming more African American or vice versa for people wanting to stay pale.


Sorry for this rant, I jumped around a lot mostly because I kept thinking of different things to say. And I do not intend to offend anyone, sorry if I did.

And lastly St. Thomas is an awesome place.

[ozkai]

Guys, all of you relax..

If you have a Japanese friend, ask him or her the question, and paste the repsonse.

Some people like white skin, some people are naturally white, some olive, some darker, other's couldn't care either way, etc.

It all comes down to preference..

Personally, I like a bit of a tan.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by Barone1551

OK first off, I'm not sure where in this thread personally attacked people another race for being an inadequate partner. And I will answer for myself when I say that no your skin tone does not make you any less of a human or mother. And to me personally it does not matter what skin tone you have to be my partner. But i still stand other statements made here, that just because you are not physically attracted to someone, this does not make you racist. And I fear that you are playing the victim here and in this world. Many people suffer racism, however you make it seem that you are the only one to have ever experienced racism, like its you against the world. And I know many people like that, from multiple races who will analyze everything to the death in order to pull out something "racist" and throw it back into the other persons face. And this to me is a problem, yes racism exists today. But it is not as one sided as it used to be. Like you said it is 2009, racism I feel, is felt by many people and many races. And I do not feel like it is as prevalent as it used to be. I have felt racism, and I have seen racism. Do I like it? no, not at all. But I do not feel the need to go looking around for it and calling out every hint of it I see. I thought the idea was to create unity by forgetting skin tone, race, culture. Or at least this is what I would prefer. But the thing I always notice with people in your mindset, that instead of blurring the line, you make it more noticeable and in your face. And in my opinion making it worse, because in the end you seem more racist (whether you are or not). By always calling out differences between you and the person you are conversing with. And to some of your other stuff. Like TV portraying white as the only good thing. Are you insane. It actually took me a second to think about this because I never really thought about it as a white or black competition, but I have to say that its ridiculous. There are just as many (in my opinion) wealthy successful African American actors and stars as there are white stars. And to think that there are not is to be ignorant.

And I'm not sure what your getting at about the fair skin being a sign of good and tan or darker skin a sign of bad. I'm pretty sure st. Thomas is the same as here, most people I know want to get tan. I don't know many people who want to stay pale ( I am one who wishes to get little sun). Why are tanning salons so popular if everyone is trying so hard to stay pale? I don't know how you can use this as an argument here in the US at least. I have never once heard someone compare tanning to becoming more African American or vice versa for people wanting to stay pale.


Sorry for this rant, I jumped around a lot mostly because I kept thinking of different things to say. And I do not intend to offend anyone, sorry if I did.

And lastly St. Thomas is an awesome place.

Sorry, that came from the last page where a comment was made:

"Our perception of beauty did not evolve from the idea of "hey, lets exclude those black people from our society"
It eveolved from the idea of finding the partner that could best carry our child.Status (from here the pale idea came from) and body shape (which has been and indicator of health, example: a curved body has a greater chance of a successful carriage. Fact by the way, and so on)"

It's fine to rant. Those are your opinions. I've been saying my opinions all along, it would be dumb of me to say "You're not allowed to rant!" However, I think you're crossing the line juuuuust a little bit when you say, "Are you insane? I think you're ignorant." I don't think you're ignorant because your opinions differ from mine. I just want to suggest that you figure out where my opinions come from before saying I'm ignorant, because you don't really know where I'm coming from, you know?

A lot of people think that racism is only signs saying "NO COLOREDS ALLOWED." It's also internalized racism. To think that a race, any race, isn't attractive is racism. Let me for a second talk about my friend, who is a person of color. She isn't attracted to white men at all. She thinks white men are ugly. When I asked her why, she said that white men are rude and don't know how to have sex. She assumed negative qualities about another race. That's racism - internalized racism, because it's an internal factor that's been shaped by the way she was raised. It's a subconscious thing. She's not going around to white men calling them crackers, but the way she thinks shows she suffers from internalized racism. I also suffer from internalized racism - everyone does. I'm challenging myself and others to think about these things.

And that's why I asked all of those questions. I wanted to know if there are any assumed negative qualities that go along with brown skin for anyone who thinks brown skin is unattractive. I think it's a little interesting that no one has really answered those questions.

I'm sorry if you think that I'm trying to play the victim. I am a victim of racism, I've experienced it many times. But on this thread, I'm not trying to say, "O WOE IS ME, ME AGAINST THE EVIL WORLD!"

I agree with you when it comes to making race noticeable by arguing about racism. It's a catch 22. I don't want to bring up race because I want to think of everyone as a human being first. However, when racism comes up, I don't let it go. I will say something. I just want to challenge people and challenge racism. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Believe me, outside of racism, I don't go running around to people and scream in their faces, "I'M BLACK!"

The fact is that there aren't nearly as many black actors/actresses in Hollywood movies. The media is a huge factor in the way people think. If you're constantly told that this woman is glamorous and beautiful, then you will most likely subconsciously look at her, pick her factors apart, and decide that there are different things that make her beautiful: she has blonde hair, she has blue eyes, she is rich, she is white. A sidenote: on the People's Magazine top 25 hottest celebrities, only three people with dark skin are on that list. That's not very equal, is it?

As for white and black, I was talking about the use of vocabulary. When you look at a white person's skin, they're not actually white. White is a sheet of paper. Most white people have darker skin tones. Black people aren't actually black. Most black people have lighter skin tones.

Yet society has chosen those words - words that already have associations. Black is usually associated with evil. "Black magic," for example. White is associated with purity and innocence. Wedding dresses are usually white for that reason. The vocabulary alone implies racism. That's all I'm saying.

I'm not insane. A lot of people are learning about the same things, writing essays and books on the same thing. It's not mainstream because it makes people feel uncomfortable.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

And you've proved my point exactly.

Please, just put any bad feelings or annoyance or anything negative aside for a second and just open your mind and listen to what I'm saying. I'm black. You're white. I'm talking to you about my race, when I've been discriminated against in history and most certainly in this lifetime. I've suffered internalized racism. And I'm telling you that I feel uncomfortable because of that.

What point of your did I just prove?

I have no bad feelings or annoyances. You are talking about your race, and that's fine, but what I am saying is this thread is NOT about your race.

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

To say that white skin is better than black skin in anyway is racist. Period. I don't feel like I need to say that anymore.

You never needed to say it because it is not what this thread is about.

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

Pretend for a moment that you're white in a world where you're not surrounded by people of your own race, and that you're constantly reminded of the color of your skin. Pretend for a moment that someone walks up to you and says, "My skin color is better than your skin color." Don't pretend for one moment that you wouldn't feel alienated and in pain, and don't pretend that you would be able to ignore that pain and move on.

It's not my identity crisis. It's called racism, and it plagues the world. Billions of people go through it everyday. It's not something to "chill out" about.

Questions for everyone, because I actually want to know what people will say:

Why is my skin not good enough to be a partner? Does the color of my skin indicate to you in some way that I'm less of a person, and so will have a child of less value? Does the color of my skin suggest that my uterus doesn't work, and that I won't be able to carry a child? Why is white skin a better option for a partner? Does white skin somehow mean that the person is smarter, and so the child will be smarter? Is it just that no one really wants to have a child that will have to suffer in this racist world?

And to continue with the questions: why is brown skin ugly? Is it because it reminds you of monkeys, or dirt, or something else unattractive? Is it because that's what your parents told you? Is it because on TV, you only see white women and men like Paris Hilton and Brad Pitt? Is brown skin ugly because, even now in 2009, it somehow suggests to you that people have been slaving away all day out in sun, and so must be of a less status than you? Is brown skin ugly because it means that the person must be a criminal? Does brown skin scare you because people of brown color are actually called "black," and black suggests something dark and evil, whereas "white" has always represented purity, innocence, and good? Or is it just because you're racist?

I'm curious. Please, anyone - explain why you prefer a white skinned partner.

I am happy to address this questions from you after you start addressing the counter points I have raised.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by MMM

What point of your did I just prove?

I have no bad feelings or annoyances. You are talking about your race, and that's fine, but what I am saying is this thread is NOT about your race.



You never needed to say it because it is not what this thread is about.



I am happy to address this questions from you after you start addressing the counter points I have raised.

MMM... are you stalking me?

Seriously, I thought we were done with whatever conversation we were having - I don't even remember what we were talking about before. If it's really that important to you, I'll check it out later.

You proved that you don't understand the feelings of alienation because you're not a person of color. If you did, you might be a little more sensitive.

Oh, and Barone: Yes. St. Thomas is awesome. =)

[bELyVIS]

We all are prejudiced against something. It just takes a smart person to realize that this is a stupid way to think and look further into that person. The world is made up of many different races and cultures. What a boring place it would be if not. Black people gave us many things like music for example. How can anyone diminish this contribution? Yes, slavery was a bad thing. But think about there would be no Blues or Rock and Roll if ancestors of these slaves never came here to America. And Mercedesjin, for you, what if they never took slaves to the Caribbean? Not only would there be no Reggae or Calypso, there wouldn't be a you.
I'm sure you think you need to fight to change people's minds about racism, but truth is that racists minds are already closed and no amount of fighting or talking will change their minds. Try to change their minds through positive example. Most people on this forum are open minded already since they love Japanese culture, so I doubt you will find a lot of racism here.
You sound like a beautiful lady and I understand what you are saying. Just go show the world how beautiful you are and change the minds of those who are willing to change by the example you set. To Hell with the rest of them.

[Barone1551]

Ok sorry, I wasn't trying to personally attacking you and calling YOU insane.

Now just let me ask this simple question. I don't mean to derail this whole topic into another section. This is just something that I think is relevant to this topic but I don't want to start a whole other topic about gender. But as we were talking about attractiveness and racism. And how not physically being attracted to someone is racism. Now let me ask this, is it then sexism if your not attracted to a certain sex. Just because everyone is not Bi-sexual, does this mean they are all sexist. I feel that these have the same basic principles.

again, I wish not to start a topic on gender (there is already one going at the moment) I just feel this specific question ties to this thread.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by mercedesjin

MMM... are you stalking me?

Seriously, I thought we were done with whatever conversation we were having - I don't even remember what we were talking about before. If it's really that important to you, I'll check it out later.

You proved that you don't understand the feelings of alienation because you're not a person of color. If you did, you might be a little more sensitive.

Oh, and Barone: Yes. St. Thomas is awesome. =)

Stalking you? No. It is interesting that if I respond to something you say I am accused of stalking. It seems like this is how you, again, get away from responding to anything I say with a substantive answer. I am waiting for you to respond to my counter points to your arguments.

You don't remember what we were talking about before? Do you remember getting so upset you couldn't continue reading my posts?

But it is becoming clear to me that the conversation we were having was never a conversation because obviously no communication was taking place. You spoke. I responded. You spoke. I responded. But you have yet to respond to anything I had to say with any substance, just accusations.

How have I proven I don't understand the feeling of being alienated? I lived three years in a city of over 100,000 people and knew only two other people of my race who lived there. But maybe you are right. I actually didn't feel alienated there because that only would have slowed me down. I felt very much a part of my neighborhood and work community, even if not everyone around me felt the same way.

[mercedesjin]

Originally Posted by MMM

Stalking you? No. It is interesting that if I respond to something you say I am accused of stalking. It seems like this is how you, again, get away from responding to anything I say with a substantive answer. I am waiting for you to respond to my counter points to your arguments.

You don't remember what we were talking about before? Do you remember getting so upset you couldn't continue reading my posts?

But it is becoming clear to me that the conversation we were having was never a conversation because obviously no communication was taking place. You spoke. I responded. You spoke. I responded. But you have yet to respond to anything I had to say with any substance, just accusations.

How have I proven I don't understand the feeling of being alienated. I lived three years in a city of over 100,000 people and knew only two other people of my race who lived there. But maybe you are right. I actually didn't feel alienated there because that only would have slowed me down. I felt very much a part of my neighborhood and work community, even if not everyone around me felt the same way.

I WAS JOKING. It was my way of trying to get you to relax. I am REALLY tired of fighting on this thread. I just want you to relax, I want me to relax, I just want to talk without all of these accusations of accusing and fighting and insults. So. It was a joke. Okay? You get it? It's funny.

Maybe it's because it's the Internet, it's hard to get a joking tone across. I'll make sure to say I'm joking next time.

Anyway. Like I said, I'll check it out later. When I'm ready. Because yes, I remember feeling upset. I still feel upset. I don't want to feel upset anymore. Reading your post will most likely make me feel upset, so I don't want to right now. Don't worry, I'll read it eventually.

Your time of alienation sounds interesting. You should talk about it more often.