2011, please, has the japanese outlook evolved that much? I have read about the 'inferiority complex' that SOME japanese have torwards westerners, some claim that they admire physical attributes that the westerners have and they sometimes love many things coming from places like France, Germany and even the USA.

However, stating that ALL the japanese have an inferiority complex (which I doubt), would be dumb. That is why I ask, some blogs claim that foreigners are sometimes treated like celebrities, others say the contrary happens. However, since I have never been there, I can't really know.

loquemerevientadejapon.blogspot.com

That is the information this blog claims, it's in spanish, sorry.

The era of foreigners being treated like celebrities is over, unless maybe you go to the most remote villages.

People often confuse Japanese humility with some kind of inferiority complex. These same people sound like braggarts in Japan when they talk about how smart their children are and how many countries they have been to.

I am not sure if they will be treated like celerities, Saitama is not remote at all, but they do have some pretty "old and traditional" type area. People shown interest in my italian friends when we were there, mainly because its not common to see caucasian in those areas, but the "interest" is nothing like a celebrity "WOW"

That is good to know, and no, the guy claiming that isn't a braggart, he actually says "This country is much better than most and definitely mine"

I don't speak Spanish, so I wasn't talking about him specifically, but what is normal conversation for many Westerners sounds like bragging to Japanese people.

I heard that before somewhere.... Hmmm j/k

And those cultural differences, are why, I honestly don't want to speak with japanese people so often.

If you don't want to live in Japan and dont like talking to Japanese people, then why do you want to learn Japanese?

What are some of the topics that is openly discussed in Western cultures but "awkward" and "prohibited" in Japan?

One thing I notice is the topic around sex, or just the idea of it. I can openly talk about sex, porn, strip joints or anything like that in front of my friends and family here in Canada, I would even discuss girls' body and what they are "showing" with my wife...

But in Japan, my uncle would give me a hard time just for saying "sukebe"

I want to read what they say, I want to be able to understand first-hand information about several topics.

Japanese read a lot ( sorry I forgot how that was named), I really need to know what their opinions on several subjects are and no, translations aren't desirable.

Furthermore, there are some anonymous imageboards, (e.g. futabachannel), where I don't fear offending people.

Nevertheless, I wrote that 'in an'(<--I'm suffering language amnesia, is that right?) incorrect way, what I really had to write was this:

"There are many cultural differences, thus as long as I don't know how to behave correctly, within the standards that the Japanese have, I'll avoid talking with natives, in order to not offend them."

Sex, porn, and strip clubs are not openly discussed in my corner of the US.

Well,always a sword in a gun shop.

Maybe I shoulnt use "openly", but it's not something that people feel too strongly about

Interesting. Sex, porn and strippers are topics people feel pretty strongly about down here.

Not in my corner of US, MMM...

So you and your friends and family talk frankly about sex and pornography?

My friends do, some members of family are a bit more open about it, yes.
I usually dont participate unless I know the person enough or can make jokes about it.
But in the schools here, you will hear of it being spoken. Remember in America, not one story accounts for all ^^
Edit; I mean colleges, before I realized Schools could account for it often.

Also I hear things on the local bus I can never unhear again.../shiver

I never said that all of America is the same, and that's why I said "in my corner".

I had a friend who was recently divorced, and part of the reason for the divorce had to do with fantasies he and his wife had. Sometimes fantasies should remain simply that: fantasy. Living out the fantasy eventually led to the divorce. He talked very open and frankly about it to me and most of his close friends, and I have to say everyone sitting at the table felt extremely uncomfortable hearing details about his sexual fantasies.

And remember: making jokes is a defense mechanism when something is uncomfortable.

Sorry for bringing this up again, I've been sleeping and working since you posted your reply. I think I go to bed when you start posting quite often ><

I'll just give some vague definitions of what I consider to be acquaintance (superficial ones), (actual) friends, and (truly) close friends.
To me,
- an acquaintance is just someone I know of by name and have hung out with a few times, someone who I feel could become a friend if I spent more time with them, or someone who I would prefer to keep as an acquaintance because I don't usually want to see them one on one
- a friend is someone I would help if they were having troubles, someone whose life I take an interest in, and earnestly look forward to seeing again, though I may not keep in contact regularly, when we see each other we pick up where we left off
- a close friend is someone for who I'd drop whatever I was doing, like leave work suddenly, and rush to the hospital if they got hurt. I would fly back to Canada for a close friend's wedding, not just a regular friend, unless it was convenient and lined up with other stuff, many birds with one stone kind of thing.

If a close friend got into something destructive, hard drug use or the like, I'd gladly spend most of my free time trying to help that friend, and take holidays off work to be there in the worst of those times.
For a regular friend I'd be there to talk often, and of course wouldn't abandon my friendship because of the habit, but would make sure that my own life didn't get drawn into it so keeping some distance would be necessary. It would keep me up at night though, thinking and empathizing.
I'd not think twice about an acquaintance destroying his life, more of an "is that so... shame, guess he's not invited to the party next month"

By those definitions, I easily have over 500 acquaintances, probably much more, around 200 friends, and around 20-30 close friends.
I know that I have a few more close friends and friends than many people by those standards by virtue of my having lived in many many places, Sannomiya is my 18th city. And that people who spend their lives in one town tend to have maybe a quarter that.

If what I wrote so far seems kind of usual in western culture, then so far so good.
I feel that Japanese people in the same age-group, will be surprised at these figures, and the definitions of the groups, they might feel like these numbers are greater than they've experienced in Japan.
I feel that Japanese people will be rather surprised at how often westerners spend time with friends, and the depth of conversation they have with friends.
I feel that Japanese people will be overwhelmed by how much westerners open up to friends, how honest they are.

I feel it's not uncommon for Japanese people to use tatemae with their closer friends, and it's expected with regular friends. Where as I expect it with acquantances but not with friends, and certainly not with close friends, that would even be insulting.

I believe that it depends far far more on the demographic of the people present whether or not these topics are okay, absolutely regardless of the country.
There are a great many people in Japan with which you should never discuss these things, and then just as many with which it's fine to do so. The same goes for any country.

That said, sex doesn't have the taboo or negative stigma associated with it that westerners do.
Also religion and politics are easier to talk about with anyone without having to worry about getting into a heated debate.

I don't. Its just that the landlady wants to befriend us-- my husband and I.

She is a very strong friendly personality. However I shall stay away now.

Landlady invited us to a meal. WE had to decline as we did not wish to offend our Japanese friend.


I cannot explain the full details so cannot put you in the whole picture.

What a whining bitch Blues Bowman is. When you consider what so many lost in the disaster following the earthquake and tsunami this guy who is not in a region affected at all by any of that or any issues with radiation is all upset that his power bill will increase. Get over it or get out Blues you whiny bitch. Probably a typical whinging pom! :mtongue:

James, you mean for the western world/society right? Because I had extreme difficulties discussing anything polictical with my uncle. Its just downright stubbornly (does this word exist even?) opinionated, he has his belief and to him thats the only thing thats right. I mean, we all do the same when it comes ot something we strongly belief in, but we would at least listen to what others have to say. Both my uncle and cousin are someone that will walk out of a political conversation if you disagree with them....

If your uncle is Japanese he's a very rare breed of Japanese to have strong opinions about politics or religion.

I meant in Japan.
I very frequently discuss religious and political differences in parts of the world and also within Japan. I've not once yet actually come close to a debate, let alone upsetting anyone.

If I start talking about the role of women in society, though, it can get personal. Or if I talk about how to deal with elderly, those two topics I tread lightly around depending on who I'm speaking with.

But even the most religious of Japanese people still engage in healthy conversation about it without getting defensive or worse, pushy.

Uncle is Japanese.

Really, that is a complete different experience than mine then. I mean, I never tried discussing this with anyone else (of Japanese of course) because of the behavior my Uncle exhibited when the topic came up, I just generalize and thought that its just how Japanese in general deal with the topic. I was really young when I lived there, so things like that would never have come up in my conversations... though there were a lot about which is the better sentai, whether Gavan or Sharivan is better, and which is the best chogokin toy :)

lol, well at home people are a lot more expressive than they are with friends or strangers etc, perhaps that's why

or maybe there was a recent debacle which made everyone an overnight critic on the matter but it was soon forgotten like a week later or so

This is where I find it hard to think that you`ve had that many truly honest conversations with Japanese. People have VERY strong opinions about politics and religion. It`s not uncommon at all. High school / university age tends to be apathetic, but once you hit the workforce it changes pretty quickly. The thing is, people aren`t likely to talk frankly about these things with anyone outside of very close friends and immediate family. (Until they`re old men and just don`t care anymore.)

If you have upset or offended anyone, they certainly aren`t likely to come out and say it... Their opinion of you has probably changed, or they`ve just written it off because you aren`t Japanese.
Those with Japanese family will know what I`m talking about when I refer to people coming home and going on about how shocked they were to hear that such and such thought such and such about something, how irritated they were that they had to listen to it, and then go on and on about how wrong that person is, and how poor their manners were to talk about it in the first place.


These things are also related to politics, in my opinion.
I think you`ve hit the nail on the head here with the comment about it being personal. People aren`t likely to expose their opinions on something when it isn`t personal enough to illicit an immediate reaction. General politics and religion are things that aren`t considered that personal by most.

That`s because religion in Japan is something different than what it is in the west. I`ve found Christians in Japan to be very much like Christians outside of Japan - I think it really does matter what the religion is and it`s attitudes.

You're right that I don't have any close friends in Japan, only friends and acquaintances, as a result I haven't had any discussions in which these topics bring up real opinions.
That in itself is a major difference.

In north America, with any class or category of friendship or relation, strangers and friends alike, you can quite easily get into a heated and sometimes aggressive argument on these topics because they do take it personally. That's a major cultural difference.

This to me is the major difference I was pointing out.
I did say that "at home people are a lot more expressive than they are with friends or strangers", perhaps I should have said "at home or with close friends".

I'm glad that Japanese people generally have the sense to not do such things with mere strangers or simple friends.

But like I said, you're right, I haven't had many honest conversations with many Japanese people, it's a rare thing indeed.
I had an honest conversation with a Mexican guy I met on the train, for 10 minutes, but after 3 years of friendship with a few different people, I still have point out that their tatemae is transparent as plastic wrap and I feel it devalues our friendship to receive it when the truth is equally clear as crystal.

What I mean to say though is that...
Religion and politics are safe to talk about because they aren't personal, whereas in the west they are.
Like you pointed out though, even if you do talk about it, don't expect to hear someone's real opinion on the matter. Just be glad they don't blow up in your face like a westerner might. lol

edit:

I feel I should add that while I do raise religion and politics in conversation quite often, I very sincerely doubt that I've upset anyone or caused them to go home thinking "I can't believe he said such and such". At least not in the last few years lol.
I've been aware for some time that even if i did upset someone, they wouldn't show it to me. As a result I've been very careful, hyper sensitive even, about the way I discuss these topics.

I usually bring them up more seriously with people who are going abroad so they know what to expect, that's a bit of a special case though.

If you want to be friends with the landlady, that is your business, but her feelings and opinions are her own, and have nothing to do with your friend from Japan.

I am confident that I would have issues with any place I move to, and it is not because of the place, but due to my really difficult character and strong personality. I simply know what I like and dislike, and nothing (or nearly nothing) can change it. I cannot really blame the place for that, can I? I am also not shy to speak up my mind, regardless of consequences. If you cannot voice what agrees with you and who you are, you don't exist.

Nonetheless, or perhaps because of its "oddness", Japan is the best place for me to be. The most difficult to understand is the futile struggle with reaching out to Jaopanese poeple, and in matcheting through all those shells and masks of artificial politness. On the other hand, plastic politeness is way better that outright rudeness that I often experience, whenvisiting plaaces like American base in Yokosuka, or interacting with people back in Europe (including my own country, which I find extrememly anoying).

The anonymous life we lead in Japan, has its pros and cons. You can do push ups on the street wearing eye-poking orange spandex, and no one will bother. On the other hand, you may be dying on the sidewalk and people will pass without even looking.

Nausea-causing cuteness, Western kitsch blind fascination, Disneyhell mania, brand brain washing, really dull pop-culture mass-production, and mass-murdering of the beauty of traditional Japanese taste are other factors that put me in a war mode.

I mean how can you forget this:


and go with this instead:


This is a subject river, but despite my ranting and numerous frustrations with Japan, I think it's a great place to be. After all, it is in Japan where I found my soulmate, and discoovered what I want to do with my life (calligraphy). I also met Japanese people that share the same passion and we understand each other through art. Besides, my calligraphy teacher is like a father to me, and him alone would be a good reason for me to stay here.

I am not a type of person that could be any-nation-phile. I simply choose the people to interact with, and don't bother with those who waste my time or bring nothing that I can learn or appreciate, in which capacity, a small talk that starts with 暑いですね！drives me bananas, and makes me instantly want to strangle the person. My teacher comes to mind again. He is posibly one of the most knowledgable people in the field of calligraphy in Kanto region, yet his humblemness and naturalness stuns me every time I meet him. He is the best teacher of dealing with ego issues. At the age of 73 he is more open minded and curious of other cultures than 90% of the kids in Japan. That also teaches me to try to be more understanding and patient towards those who I don't agree with. So here is the irony, I admire a Japanese for teaching me how to stop ranting about the Japanese, and all those things that make me rant about them.

In short, I feel that life in Japan is a great challenge on its own, and difficult enough for me to enjoy it, and settle down here for good.

Wow Ryuryui.. not sure what to say, just enjoyed reading this post.. and it trigger something in me.. i felt similar at some point..

I wonder what led to that behavior, this is not something new. I remember seeing a woman running up to people asking for help outside of Kanda station when I was a kid, people just ignored her....

I lived fairly close to the Yokosuka base when I was a kid, I think the experience was positive for the most part, though i never had any interactions with the adults in the area.. Kids live a simple life...

Cheers man. Well I was just honest about it, perhaps that was it?

I know, I really enjoy being one. :)

Ok, two questions, I hope they aren't that polemic:
Is it true that there is a great amount of pornography and prostitution in japan?
I have read some blogs here and there, and they all claim this is somewhat frequent, however some of these seem a little biased.

What about the whale and dolphin hunt?
What is japan's usual response to this?
In the case of whales, I read they are ok with it, due to cultural differences ( I agree).
However in the case of dolphins, the only region that actively hunts dolphins is taiji, and there are many risks related to eating their meat, the taiji hunters attempted to promote it...

What is YOUR opinion on the subject?

I am not criticizing (pfft, I am morally nihilist), I just want to know how you see it as foreigners living there...

Come to think of it,while we're on the topic of controversial subjects,people say avoid Roppongi bars and clubs but if I'm not a woman who's into risky things why would anything happen to me? I don't get it.

I heard stories about guys walking into a bar roppongi and woke up in some back alleys with nothing left on them. If there is any truth to that story then I'd think thats a reason..

I don't know if there is MORE pornography than anywhere else, but it seems more accessible than it might be other places. For example, pornography sections at video rental stores are larger and are not hidden behind a curtain. The same is sort of true of prostitution, if you go to certain areas of certain cities you can see ads for massage parlors, but I don't think that is "prostitution" in the traditional sense. I have never seen women walking the street soliciting.

The sex industry is alive and well in all parts of the world.
In Japan, to me, it certainly feels much more present and part of regular life than it did abroad.
In Canada, if it wasn't a part of your life,you were rarely exposed to it, if it was a part of your life, it was ever-present.
On tv last night there was a bit about police busting into parlors to make sure they aren't operating without license (yes that's right, a license is available and required).
2 days ago I get yet another of my about-weekly ピンクチラシ (Pink flyers) in the mail, featuring about 4 pictures of obviously-sex (I mean penetration) poses and fellatio. The costs are about 9500yen for 90 minutes if you let them chose the girl you get, more if you pick yourself.
I've gotten about 30 or so in the last year, it seems like it's picking up a little actually, it was less before.
I can't walk downtown Sannomiya without seeing about 40 hostess/kabakura/sekukaba/whatever girls in a huge variety of clothing standing outside trying to lure men in. And about 4 or 5 cross dressers.

Sex isn't viewed as an evil thing here.

regarding the whale hunts, there's a thread about "the cove" already, it goes over a lot of this

I think you are onto something. I do agree that Japanese don't tend to get into heated discussions about religion and politics, but that doesn't mean they are not impassioned or opinionated.

I think the reason is that Japanese people do not feel personally connected to religion or politics the same way people in the West do, as you said.

Japan is not a religious nation, and politically the masses are more apathetic than in the West. This is probably due to the constant changes in leadership and the constant scandals that fill the news every night.

Other topics, like US military bases, drug legalization, gun legalization, whale hunting, the young generation, etc. might get more interesting discussions started.

Sex / pornography - as long as people are not forced to do it, I say let them do whatever the hell they want. One sells skills in painting, another in his own body. Besides there are those who enjoy shagging few times a day so why not get paid for it. Also, I agree with James, that sex is looked at differently here, not as a subject taboo, but as a nromal human behaviour. Influence of the Church on politics and people minds in general in Western countries really pisses me off. The couple ends up having sex under the blanket in a dark room, which leads to many sexual related frustration and tensions, then marriage issues and divorce or even murders. (If you read more about sexuology, sexual perversions and their causes, and influence of sex life quality over person's mental state you will know what i mean). And it is all because people are too shy to talk about it.

Dolphins - I think humans are the only creatures on Earth evil enough to kill for profit, and not because they need to eat. Karma will get them.

Roppongi - I worked in there for 2 years, so I will tell you from my own experience. Long time ago, that place was dangerous in a different way. I mean you could actually be stabbed or beaten up. Iranian mafia running around with long Kebab size knives under winter coats, Chinese mafia fighting with Yakuza, Cuban pimps and prostututes, Russian mafia selling drugs, etc. However, people acutally came there to have "fun", though I will never underdand why, bar were packed that one could not move, everything was well overpriced, and the whole place was really filthy (literally and metaphorically).

Today Roppongi is not as dangerous, however, drink spiking is common (drugs in drinks), credid cards frauds, champain business girls circling like hungry vultures, and money hungry Nigerians and Ghanians dragging you desperately by your clothes to their empty joint. Roppongi is deserted and dying (thank God for that), anyway in few years they plan to rebuild it from scratch, as they did with R.Hill and Midtown area (I believe that is how it is called). So, even I do not get how one can enjoy spending the evening in a smokey bar with bunch of random people drinking overpriced alcohol while mindlessly stearing at the TV screen, you can go and party. Just leave your credit card at home.

I never heard of any attacks on women there. Women are the sharks. Guys are main target as they are the ones who's ego is retarded enough to let them "impress" the ladies through buying a bottle of Dom Perignon for 350.000yen (zero'z are correct) hoping to be able to drag them to the Ibis hotel and shagg them. Little do they know they are being scammed. Girls have deals with bartenders, and their drinks are fake, not to mention that many of them are ladyboys anyways... Guy gets drunk, girls don't, guy's cc gets raped and the girls don't. All they do get is a cut from the bar sales, and the guy wakes up with 1.000.000 debit on his cc, headache and a mental jet lag.

sorry for typos, but i slept only 3 hours...