Jokes and Poems=Kira_2009 & Ayame90 - Page 5

Ayame90 · (#41 (**permalink**))

I know i got a whack sense of humor. I'll tell u some more quotes i got, later on.

Rikku777 · (#42 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by matttholen

THE ATHEIST
I was standing in line at the movie theatre one day and some dude comes up to me and just sneezes in my face! like no blockin his face or anything, just coked and sneezed, two things happened, it just scared effin livin outa me, cuz it was very audible very loud. and not only that just the the light was hitting this guys face DEBRIS came out! a wad o stuff just like when you use winde and you put it on mist-mode, as opposed to that other mode, what is that laser mode does anyone even use that? is that in case you wanna mount a sniper scope on your windex?

Back to the sneeze... and by this time im mad, and grossed out. nd i first thought o im gonna go off on this guy, but i said hey matt take the high road be polite, and i said this, "god bless you" very sarcastically, almost like saying "cover your effing mouth"... and it gets worse, he goes "uhh yea, im an atheist" what a jerk right? i dont know nor do i care if your an atheist, what am i supposed to say when an atheist sneezes, "when you die nothing happens." he starts making fun of my religion, and he goes "lemme askyou this what do you think happens to you after you die?" and i came back with "well hopefully i live a good life and my soul goes to heaven, and all my relatives wiull be waving to me like its an airport". and hes laughing at me. so I flipped out, "what happens to you after YOU die?"

he comes back with "well I will die and become a huge beautiful tree." yea, hes laughing at me, hes gonna come back as a ficus. But lemme say this, I HOPE when he dies he does become a tree. I hope hes enjoying his tree life, then one day a huge sweaty guy with an axe comes in and chops him down SMASH! put a chain around him drag him through the mud and the muck, throw him into a saw mill grind him up! and then ya pound him down into paper!

and once hes paper, you print the BIBLE ON HIM!!!!

Wow! That was soooooo funny! Come back as a tree...please. If the Bible did get printed on him, I would read it constantly just to annoy him!

MazarDantechildofdevil · (#43 (**permalink**))

Here's a joke..

An Athiest (don't know how it's spelt) is walking in a forest. The sounds of the forest sounding out, than he hears a bush move. He turns and looks over and there is a bear, the bear begins to charge at him and than everything freezes except for the athiest. "God I know we haven't been on good terms and everything..But please don't let the bear eat me like this," the athiest prays. The sounds and everything in the forest resume, the bear folds his paws together and than says, "Dear god please bless this food before me.."

CoolNard · (#44 (**permalink**))

Aww.. that bear's a Christian! XD~!

P.S. Can we put funny videos here too..? ^^

Ayame90 · (#45 (**permalink**))

Yeah, just as long as it's funny.

CoolNard · (#46 (**permalink**))

Hmm.. but vulgarities aren't permitted right..?

Alright, I'll post one shortly ^^

Ayame90 · (#47 (**permalink**))

Okay,what vulgar things r u talkin' about Nard?

CoolNard · (#48 (**permalink**))

Just those 'F' words.. Nthing perverted.. =P
Many stand-up comedians have the habit of doing that nowadays.. can't be helpd..

Edited: I could just quote their funny lines if you want ^^

Ayame90 · (#49 (**permalink**))

Hey it don't bother me none Nard.
Hey got some jokes, it's a sex poem.

Sex is like math
You subtract the clothes
Add the bed
Divide the legs
And pray to God you don't multiply

CoolNard · (#50 (**permalink**))

LOL.. yeah i've heard that one before.. it's quite popular here... and true too.. to a certain extent.. XD