Please help me to read this English sentence:

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by Koir

Another revision to add to your knowledge, Yuri. I don't play the guitar myself, but I definitely enjoy guitar-driven rock.

Koir, thanks! Your corrections are very instructive as always. I wish I could write like you do.

Have a great day, Yuri!

You too, Koir!

[Koir]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

I wish I could write like you do.

Don't worry, Yuri. I have seen much improvement in your English writing skills even in the short time you've been a member of JF. I'm sure you'll surprise me and everyone else when you find your way of writing English that makes the most sense to you

[YuriTokoro]

Hi.
Would you correct my English, please?

"A Guitar Repair Shop"

My guitar is still being repaired.
When I leave my guitar with the shop, they said that they would call me to tell quotation, but they didn’t for three days, so I went to the shop to ask what’s going on today.
They said it was not a simple disconnection and still unplaceable.
It was likely a certain part (a pickup) was broken, and if it was, they said it would cost about 30,000 yen.
I’m in shock! Having a guitar is so expensive. I can’t write more today…


Thank you.

[Koir]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

Hi.
Would you correct my English, please?

"A Guitar Repair Shop"

My guitar is still being repaired.
When I left my guitar at the shop, they promised to call me with a repair price quote. They didn’t for three days, so I went back to the shop to ask them directly.
They said it was not a simple disconnection, and they didn't know the exact problem.
It was likely a certain part (a pickup) was broken. If it were, they said it would cost about 30,000 yen.
I’m in shock! Having a guitar is so expensive. I can’t write more today…


Thank you.

Yikes. It appears that you won't be getting your guitar back and in good working order anytime soon. You're understandably upset, Yuri. However, I'm sure that once they find out the problem they'll know how to fix it so it's just like new.

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by Koir

Yikes. It appears that you won't be getting your guitar back and in good working order anytime soon. You're understandably upset, Yuri. However, I'm sure that once they find out the problem they'll know how to fix it so it's just like new.

Koir, thanks a lot as always.
You wrote what I wanted to say. Exactly!!
Thanks for seeing!!!!

[Koir]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

Koir, thanks a lot as always.
You wrote what I wanted to say. Exactly!!
Thanks for seeing!!!!

Glad to help, Yuri

[YuriTokoro]

Hi.
Would you correct my English, please?


"The Best Startling Thing"

Years ago, when I was a university student, drinking a cup of tea in a living room, my mother suddenly said, “You must bear resentment against me.”
I was so shocked to hear that. She continued. “You wish you were a boy, right? You must have been angry with me for I didn’t bear you as a boy."
To be honest, I was enjoying being a girl very much. I had never wished to be a boy.
I almost always wore skirts then.
“Why do you say like that?” I asked.
“Your friends are doing domestic training, while you are crazy about karate training.”
I didn’t see why girls who like karate must wish to be boys.
I believe that a girl can do everything you want to do. A girl can wear both feminine clothes like cute skirts and boyish clothes. A girl can do both karate and berry dancing. I have been preferring being a girl and then a woman.
Can’t a mother figure out their daughters? Or, is it just that my mother was crazy?

Thank you!

[Koir]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

Hi.
Would you correct my English, please?


"The Most Startling Thing"

Years ago, when I was a university student, I was drinking tea with my mother in the family's living room. With no prompting my mother said, “You must hate me.”
This was shocking to hear from her. She kept talking. “You wish you were a boy, right? You must have been angry with me for not having you as a boy."
To be honest, I was enjoying being a girl very much. I had never wished to be a boy.
I almost always wore skirts then.
“Why do you say that?” I asked her.
“Your friends are doing domestic training, while you are crazy about karate training.”
I didn’t see why girls who like karate must want to be boys.
I believe that a girl can do everything she wants. A girl can wear both feminine clothes like cute skirts and boyish clothes. A girl can do both karate and belly dancing. I preferred being a girl and then a woman as I grew up.
Can’t mothers figure out their daughters? Or is my mother just crazy?

Thank you!

I agree it would be quite startling to hear that from a parent, and a mother especially. It must have been bothering her for quite a while to come right out and ask you. Now, I will never be a mother and I never had sisters growing up, but I do agree with your belief a girl/woman can do anything she puts her mind to do. We're all human, which means we all have the same potential to shape ourselves and the world around us in the ways we most wish.

Speaking as a guy, there's quite a lot to appreciate in a woman who is skilled in many different areas regardless of how "appropriate" some of those areas are according to society.

As for the composition itself, I see a lot of improvement in the middle of the post and towards the end. Just a bit more work in making the beginning of the post (which sets the tone for the whole post and describes the environment), and your English composition skills will be greatly improved.

Hope that helps, Yuri!

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by Koir

I agree it would be quite startling to hear that from a parent, and a mother especially. It must have been bothering her for quite a while to come right out and ask you. Now, I will never be a mother and I never had sisters growing up, but I do agree with your belief a girl/woman can do anything she puts her mind to do. We're all human, which means we all have the same potential to shape ourselves and the world around us in the ways we most wish.

Koir, thanks!
Yes, both men and women have the same potential, but my mother and some elderly people don’t think so.
In Japan, many people still tend to think men are superior to women.

Speaking as a guy, there's quite a lot to appreciate in a woman who is skilled in many different areas regardless of how "appropriate" some of those areas are according to society.

Sorry, I don’t understand ‘how "appropriate" some of those areas are according to society. ‘

As for the composition itself, I see a lot of improvement in the middle of the post and towards the end. Just a bit more work in making the beginning of the post (which sets the tone for the whole post and describes the environment), and your English composition skills will be greatly improved.

What should I write at the beginnings of my posts?
What would you write?

Hope that helps, Yuri!

Very helpful, Koir. Thanks a lot!

[Koir]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

Sorry, I don’t understand ‘how "appropriate" some of those areas are according to society. ‘

It refers to how society in general views certain activities as being "male" or "female", as you said in your story. Martial arts are seen as "male", homemaking as "female". Your participation in martial arts was not the typical activity for a girl, so your mother objected.

What should I write at the beginnings of my posts?
What would you write?

There's no set format for beginning a story/post as you have been doing. I just noticed a contrast between how the post started out compared to how it continued afterwards. The feeling I got was that you put a lot of detail up front to get everything set up, then afterwards calmed down and wrote more naturally.

Writing that way is something I find myself doing a lot in my own compositions. It's a good idea to just get it all out on the screen (or on paper), then do revisions. Tightening up the writing style, using the right amount of words and descriptions to provide an image, removing duplicate descriptions, and so on.

Again, it will come with time and practice. Keep it up, and you'll find your own unique way of describing what you want others to picture in their minds.

Very helpful, Koir. Thanks a lot!

I do what I can.