Japanese raising

[Hatredcopter]

Maybe you ought to find another culture to cherry-pick your baby from, because your preconceived notions about Japan aren't quite so accurate. How do you know what they're like if you haven't been there?

The Japanese school system sucks (every year they talk about reforming it, and it never happens), kids bully each other all the time in Japanese schools, and the suicide rate in Japan is through the roof. Still sound appealing to you? I'm not saying Japan is any worse off than we are, I'm pointing out that every culture has its ups and downs. And also, I've never ever heard of anyone saying 'the way people act' is 'in their blood'. That's nonsense. If there were any truth at all to that, I'm sure geneticists and other scientists would have noted this a long, long time ago.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

First time I ever heard I need counselling because I dont think my culture all that great. And blankly, it's full of bull. I should say it's more of the community fault then the culture, again a lot of it has been lost. But when you walk in my shoes, then you tell me if it's so great or not. Yes, we have our famous people who did wonderful things. But in my mind today, the bad is starting to outweigh the good. I was not trying to sterotype anyone, it just came out wrong. But in this day and age you can pick what traits\genes you want to surpress. That's what I want. As I stated before, some people believe's it's in your blood the way people act the way they do. I never said Japan was the magic making country, but to me there values are pretty high, school system better, kids more respectable. Maybe it's in there blood, maybe it's not. Like I said before, I didn't post this to be ridculed by the masses, keep your negative comments to yourself. Anyways Im already finacially stable, so why not have kids? I was just going to wait till 25 to live a little, but I dont feel that Im missing much. I would still feel the same way if I felt that Hawaiian/French/Spanish culture was the best. This is just a gateway to help. I once never said that other cultures were not smart. I know some Asian who have asked me questions, and we both did not know the answears to. I just think they have better priorties, then most races. I dont think you can infuse something into you that your not apart of, yes you can learn, but never become apart of. In the long run I think im doing the right thing, so really END of discussion!

Oh I think you DEFINITELY need counselling after hearing that.

I'm not trying to be offensive when I say you need counselling. I'm actually trying to be supportive. I think it's sad that a person feels inferior because of their cultural heritage (and annoying when they feel superior because of it.)

Like I said before, there are some self-esteem issues that seem to be surfacing in your posts that are a result of the way you percieve your own culture compared to others. I don't know why you feel you or your culture inferior... what is it about being black that you don't want to be associated with? And what is it about Japanese culture that makes you think they are better disciplined?

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

First time I ever heard I need counselling because I dont think my culture all that great. And blankly, it's full of bull. I should say it's more of the community fault then the culture, again a lot of it has been lost. But when you walk in my shoes, then you tell me if it's so great or not. Yes, we have our famous people who did wonderful things. But in my mind today, the bad is starting to outweigh the good. I was not trying to sterotype anyone, it just came out wrong.

I hate to say it, but I agree somewhat with this. Seriously, seems we're the only race that justifies using a degrading word amongst ourselves. Natsuko (the lady I mentioned earlier) and I were talking about racial stereotypes, and she did say, in Japan (which I already knew anyway) with blacks, it's all thug/rap stuff they get exposure too, so those who like that type of stuff, dresses up in the clothes to emulate what they see on television. I know that's sad, but that's where the parenting comes in. Parents are supposed to instill good values into their kids, regardless of society. I'm "African American" too, as I pointed out. If I have a child, I plan on teaching him/her the necessities in life, not to go by what you see on television and to never be afraid of learning or obtaining a higher knowledge, etc. Regardless of the race of the child, a parent is supposed to do this anyway. Anywho, this sounds more like "society" you're having a problem with, not our (African American) race.

But in this day and age you can pick what traits\genes you want to surpress. That's what I want.

I find this very sad that you want to suppress certain genes because you're ashamed of them. In a way, you sound ashamed to be African American. I can see being embarrassed by some (I watched this reality show today about Snoop Dogg and they went to Germany to a restaurant and I was embarrassed for the way they were acting as both blacks and Americans), but never ashamed.

The only thing I'd consider "suppressing" are genes that can lead to medical conditions. I have an underactive thyroid, slow metabolism, diabetes, and probably PCOS (it's a condition that affects females, which is common), I"d suppress stuff like that as opposed to this other stuff you're implying.

As I stated before, some people believe's it's in your blood the way people act the way they do.

The way people are around you has a lot more to do with it, for the most part. As I said before. If one have parents who don't care or play a role in his/her life, then the child probably won't care about what goes on in it, and "act out".

I never said Japan was the magic making country, but to me there values are pretty high, school system better, kids more respectable.

That's only what the media allows you to see. IMO, they have a really screwed up school system, but I'd still like to witness it first hand from the teacher's side (or in my case, teaching assistant's side). Also, just like every country you have kids that are respectful and then those who aren't. You have your juvenile delinquents everywhere. It's not like they don't exist in Japan.

As for the other stuff you mentioned, that's just how their society is. That's just how they're raised because when they leave the country, they take the stuff they learned, of that society, with them. I'm sure a Japanese person born and raised in a place like say...England would act more like a person of England as opposed to one of Japan since that's where he/she grew up.

Maybe it's in there blood, maybe it's not.

I really don't think it's in their blood. It's the society and culture. It's just their way. Maybe you should really consider learning some of the language and living there for a while so that you can learn something.

Anyways Im already finacially stable, so why not have kids?

I wish I could say that. Here I am, 26, going on 27, and I still can't afford to move out of my parents' home, which sucks, since I wanted to have at least one child before the age of 30, but at the rate I'm going, I don't think I'll be able to.

I was just going to wait till 25 to live a little, but I dont feel that Im missing much. I would still feel the same way if I felt that Hawaiian/French/Spanish culture was the best. This is just a gateway to help. I once never said that other cultures were not smart.

You're coming across that way, though, so maybe you should reword. Even to me you're saying that African Americans are not intelligent, you want to "suppress" some of your African American "genes" so that the child can be smart.

I know some Asian who have asked me questions, and we both did not know the answears to. I just think they have better priorties, then most races.

That depends on the family.

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

Like I said before, there are some self-esteem issues that seem to be surfacing in your posts that are a result of the way you percieve your own culture compared to others. I don't know why you feel you or your culture inferior... what is it about being black that you don't want to be associated with? And what is it about Japanese culture that makes you think they are better disciplined?

We blacks are perceived as lazy, thuggish, can't be trusted, stupid, criminals, sex-crazed (*points to shows like Maury Povitch*), curse every other word, speak in ebonics, can only have jobs pertaining to "entertainment", on government assistance or welfare, even though I read someplace that there are a whole lot more whites on welfare than blacks (but media doesn't show this), etc. We really are looked down upon, but that's why it's up to those of our race to stand out and show that we aren't the negatives that society has associated with us. Look at the candidate running, Obama, here for our presidency. He's received death threats early on into his campaigning, and on the news, I heard something about the KKK wanting to do a march. I really don't feel many people are going to vote for Obama in fear of his life.

I feel that the OP has a problem with how we are portrayed in media and such and I have a problem with it too and ashamed of most of it, but the difference between me and the original poster, I try to stand out from the negative stereotypes. I like being perceived as "smart" and such. I think the OP really needs to work on her self image issues (which to me, she does seem to have), and worry about adoption later.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by SSJup81

I feel that the OP has a problem with how we are portrayed in media and such and I have a problem with it too and ashamed of most of it, but the difference between me and the original poster, I try to stand out from the negative stereotypes. I like being perceived as "smart" and such. I think the OP really needs to work on her self image issues (which to me, she does seem to have), and worry about adoption later.

I see. I thought that might have something to do with it.

Personally I don't look to "gangsta rappers" or "hoodlums" as ambassadors of blackness or acting on behalf of black people. I think that anybody that does is an idiot.... (or perhaps sheltered like I imagine your Japanese friend to be as I'm under the impression that there aren't many black people in Japan as most, if not all Japanese are Asian and most non-Asian foriegners in Japan are white.)

Anyway... I respect and agree with your outlook. The problem is not with her culture, it's with society (regardless of race)

[jpdrag0n]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

Well this has been a goal of mine since I was in fifth grade. Personally your opinions are meaningless to me. Once I set of to do it, I am. I see nothing wrong with it at all, just as if I was going to have a black and white baby. I dont know, half of you people must of been living under a rock for the last five years, but people DO things like this! If they dont like something from there race/culture, they will try and elimate it. A lot of people believe that's it is in there blood, why people act the way they do. That's all im doing. So what I want to adopt a Japanese kid, that will not make me a bad mother. And yes, Gay couple want children, but I know a couple that didn't even pick the same race as them when they went to the sperm bank, and there living a good life. "I like the black and white culture, so I wanted my daughter to be accepted by both." That's what she told me. I understood what she ment. I want the same thing. And as for me being selfish, why can't I? If you dont understand and dont want to help me, then topic closed for discussion. I didn't start this topic to be ridcule by the masses.

i read the first sentence of this post and almost died. its been your goal since the 5th grade...? you definitely need to re-think your decision. you know when i was in the 5th grade i wanted to join the army because it seemed cool...but now...fuck no

[jpdrag0n]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

First time I ever heard I need counselling because I dont think my culture all that great. And blankly, it's full of bull. I should say it's more of the community fault then the culture, again a lot of it has been lost. But when you walk in my shoes, then you tell me if it's so great or not. Yes, we have our famous people who did wonderful things. But in my mind today, the bad is starting to outweigh the good. I was not trying to sterotype anyone, it just came out wrong. But in this day and age you can pick what traits\genes you want to surpress. That's what I want. As I stated before, some people believe's it's in your blood the way people act the way they do. I never said Japan was the magic making country, but to me there values are pretty high, school system better, kids more respectable. Maybe it's in there blood, maybe it's not. Like I said before, I didn't post this to be ridculed by the masses, keep your negative comments to yourself. Anyways Im already finacially stable, so why not have kids? I was just going to wait till 25 to live a little, but I dont feel that Im missing much. I would still feel the same way if I felt that Hawaiian/French/Spanish culture was the best. This is just a gateway to help. I once never said that other cultures were not smart. I know some Asian who have asked me questions, and we both did not know the answears to. I just think they have better priorties, then most races. I dont think you can infuse something into you that your not apart of, yes you can learn, but never become apart of. In the long run I think im doing the right thing, so really END of discussion!

i agree with many of you here. you need to go to japan to see first-hand what japanese culture is all about. i agree with you that japanese are more respectful in some ways but there are always a few who are quite nasty. the school system is not better because as someone else pointed out before...there are huge problems with bullying, suicide, and incompetent school management.

you need to have more pride in being black. just because you think there are more bad things than good things in your culture doesn't mean you need to be ashamed of it. muslims arent ashamed of themselves just because a few fundamentalist radicals go out and bomb themselves. not all black people are thugs. i know quite a few successful and pleasant black people.

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

I see. I thought that might have something to do with it.

Personally I don't look to "gangsta rappers" or "hoodlums" as ambassadors of blackness or acting on behalf of black people. I think that anybody that does is an idiot.... (or perhaps sheltered like I imagine your Japanese friend to be as I'm under the impression that there aren't many black people in Japan as most, if not all Japanese are Asian and most non-Asian foriegners in Japan are white.)

Oh, she knows that not all black people are like that. We were just talking about the stereotypes in general, and she was going on to say how it's easy for blacks to be stereotyped in such a way because of what's shown in the media over there and the lacks of blacks there in a general sense. She even said that over there, seems that most people expect the black women to all look like Beyonce. We were both laughing at that. I'm far from looking like Beyonce, like most black women, not that I'd complain if I did. lol

It's like how Asians are stereotyped as being highly intelligent and smart when it comes to their academics. It's a nice stereotype, but I'm sure someone who lives in an area where he/she rarely encounters Asians will have this preconceived notion. It's even an on running joke when it comes to Asians being smart. Another stereotype is that all Asians know marital arts. Very unrealistic, but the same thing can apply since most of our media consists of Asians in a role where they're doing some type of a martial art or using that skill. The most well-known Asians we have exposure to here in the states are Martial Artists. Some people probably think if they go to Asia, they'll find a bunch of ninjas and samurais walking around. That's how the conversation was, for the most part. We weren't agreeing with the stereotypes, just talking about how easy it is for one to believe in some of these.

Anyway... I respect and agree with your outlook. The problem is not with her culture, it's with society (regardless of race)

Maybe so, but the fact that she wants to "suppress genes" had me thinking that she might have an issue with being black too. As for the American part, and the bad school thing, as I said before, that's what parents are for. If parents take an active role in their child's life, education especially, then the child will more than likely do well in school, or make education a priority. It was in my household. My mother was always on me to do the best that I could in school. I wasn't the best student (average to above average at most), but I did find school important...although, I did slack in 11th grade. For once in my life, the school work was just too overwhelming for me..that was also the last year I bothered with honors or advanced classes...'cept for Gov't in 12th.

[SSJup81]

Originally Posted by jpdrag0n

i agree with many of you here. you need to go to japan to see first-hand what japanese culture is all about. i agree with you that japanese are more respectful in some ways but there are always a few who are quite nasty. the school system is not better because as someone else pointed out before...there are huge problems with bullying, suicide, and incompetent school management.

From what I've read, the PTA has a big say in the way the schools are run, which I have a bit of a problem with. In a way, I really feel that the Japanese school system mollycoddles the students, but this is my interpretation based on what I've read. I've yet to actually observe or witness this.

With bullying, I never knew too much pertaining to that, but I did know about the suicide thing, but, I always heard of suicide cases with University students, not younger ones.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by SSJup81

Oh, she knows that not all black people are like that. We were just talking about the stereotypes in general, and she was going on to say how it's easy for blacks to be stereotyped in such a way because of what's shown in the media over there and the lacks of blacks there in a general sense. She even said that over there, seems that most people expect the black women to all look like Beyonce. We were both laughing at that. I'm far from looking like Beyonce, like most black women, not that I'd complain if I did. lol

It's like how Asians are stereotyped as being highly intelligent and smart when it comes to their academics. It's a nice stereotype, but I'm sure someone who lives in an area where he/she rarely encounters Asians will have this preconceived notion. It's even an on running joke when it comes to Asians being smart. Another stereotype is that all Asians know marital arts. Very unrealistic, but the same thing can apply since most of our media consists of Asians in a role where they're doing some type of a martial art or using that skill. The most well-known Asians we have exposure to here in the states are Martial Artists. Some people probably think if they go to Asia, they'll find a bunch of ninjas and samurais walking around. That's how the conversation was, for the most part. We weren't agreeing with the stereotypes, just talking about how easy it is for one to believe in some of these.

I see.. it's cool

Originally Posted by SSJup81

Maybe so, but the fact that she wants to "suppress genes" had me thinking that she might have an issue with being black too. As for the American part, and the bad school thing, as I said before, that's what parents are for. If parents take an active role in their child's life, education especially, then the child will more than likely do well in school, or make education a priority. It was in my household. My mother was always on me to do the best that I could in school. I wasn't the best student (average to above average at most), but I did find school important...although, I did slack in 11th grade. For once in my life, the school work was just too overwhelming for me..that was also the last year I bothered with honors or advanced classes...'cept for Gov't in 12th

.

Exactly, it's the whole nature versus nurture thing. While it is true that some people get a genetic head start in terms of intelligence, athletic ability etc. The fact is that nurture is a LOT more important.

And before the OP misunderstands and believes that this genetic headstart correlates with race, she should know that in fact race has NO genetic basis. Overall, there is as much genetic variation between races as there is within a particular race. The only genes she can really "suppress" with any conscious effort are ones governing physical appearance. And if indeed she believes that Asians are "better looking" than Africans then that proves that she needs counselling.